Friday, November 09, 2007

The Scourge of Humanity

You may or may not know that I am a fan of college football. Of course, the Sooners are my favorite team, but I am also interested in all of college football. Yes, I am that crazy girl that actually watches the game instead of talking. When I go to games I wear my favorite lucky shirt (bought outside the stadium in 2001 for $5 and still going strong). I don't wear mini-skirts when I am standing in the student section; I don't apply any makeup before, during, or after the game; I don't fix my hair. And if you do any of that and come to an OU game I'm likely to throw up a little in my mouth and taunt you the rest of the game.

No...I don't think about myself, I think only about the game and the business on the field.

And while I can't name every play on the field, I do understand the game. I am also an expert on the BCS system, especially when it comes to points and who needs to lose so we can play in New Orleans for the National Title. I get it....and I L-O-V-E talking about it.

I read about it, I think about it, I watch games of teams I don't like....I heart college football. I wish I played college football.

I say all of that because each week I read this column on ESPN called the Forde Yard Dash. In there he talks about 40 different things relating to college football the previous week (his name is Pat Forde) and there is one thing he's doing this year that I think is hilarious.

Like most people, he is appalled at the way Notre Dame is playing this year. But what really gets him is that the Notre Dame nation is blaming their 1-8 team problems on Tyrone Willinghman, the coach from 3 years ago. "If Willinghman would have been a better recruiter..." and "These aren't Charlie's guys, these are Willingham's guys" and so on. It's ludicrous and Pat Forde knows it.

So....since Tyrone Willingham is responsible for the downfall of Notre Dame 3 years after he moved on to University of Washington, then his recruiting must be responsible for all the bad things that happen in the world. Like the wild fires in California, drought conditions across the country, Britney Spears' (1) mental crackup, Marie Osmond fainting on "Dancing with the Stars" and this week...he's responsible for the Hollywood writer's strike.

Every week it cracks me up to find out what Ty has caused this time. And it's made me dig really deep and try to come to some understanding of why bad things happen to me, and to the world. The only logical explanation is that Britney Spears (2) did it.

Since Willingham is the cause for the Hollywood writers strike this week, I can't blame that one on Brit (3). I do, however, have reports that she caused the death of one of the last two surviving Titanic passengers.

And, in case you're keeping count, that's 3 references to Britney Spears (4) in this post. Oops...make that four.


John said...

Don't I have the Coolest wife EVER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Emily said...

Wait, I thought global warming caused all of those things.

That being said, I think at least some of those things can be blamed on Bill Callahan, right?

Elizabeth said...

"I get jealous when..." ;)

Joe said...

It's so much more fun to blame things on BS than GW. Thanks for providing an alternative theory!