Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Men are from Mars and believe really strange things...

This may be sensitive for some of my male readers. But I am here today to talk about a few myths guys believe about women. There are so many to choose from, but these seem to be the most blatant myths we need to dispel.

That's right...some of you men have been operating under the assumption that what you see in the movies is reality. Unfortunately, the time has come to break the news ever so gently. Brace yourself as your fantasies come crashing down.

1. Women are not hairless, and once we're married (or even in a committed relationship lasting through the winter) we don't shave anymore. In fact, in lieu of shaving we may buy static guard to cut down on the electricity generated between lined wool pants and hairy legs.

2. Women do not have pillow fights in our underwear at slumber parties. There is never a time where feathers start to fly as we hit each other and giggle, our hair doesn't bounce around our scantily-clad bodies. Usually slumber parties involve sweatpants (not shorts, see #1), ponytail holders, and lots of cookie dough. Maybe a movie where we cry. It's actually your worst nightmare.

3. Women are not automatically good cooks. Some of us hate cooking. Especially when they cook your favorite casserole that your mom used to make, then you tell them it's not as good as your mom's. Then we are not only bad cooks, but we hate to cook as well. Then you might get stuck making Hamburger Helper the rest of your life while your wife eats Ghirardelli squares in front of "Everybody Loves Raymond" on the couch. I'm just saying....

4. Women do enjoy a healthy religious discussion from time to time. We like to read the Bible and understand how it applies to our life. And, true, Eve may have eaten the apple first. But let's be honest--what does it say about the strength of a man that he followed right along? And, by the way, women don't think that joke is funny after the 892nd time you tell it.

I don't want to overwhelm you with these truths, so I'll stop for now. Take a breath, and remind yourself that in spite of all these things, women are still totally awesome.

***Editors Note: Not all of these items are myths that John believed. Obviously the cooking and religious ones....but he was not the one that brought up the slumber party myth. That was in conversations with several guy friends over the years.

It's NaBloPoMo....I'm trying to come up with daily material. I'm not mad at John, he doesn't objectify me or my friends, it's just funny observations about things guys have said over the years.***


Charly said...

"Especially when they cook your favorite casserole that your mom used to make, then you tell them it's not as good as your mom's."
My hubby doesn't actually say it's not as good as his mom's, but I can see it in his eyes or the noises he makes when I ask him if he likes it. The sad thing is, I think Brady could live on Hamburger Helper for a good long time.

Cary said...

I've come to terms with all of these (actually enjoy #4) except for #1.