Acceptance Speech

Tonight the Country Music Awards (CMA) are on. I've always liked country music, but I haven't really been listening to much more than sports radio lately. Still, some of my absolute favorite artists are on tonight: Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Reba McEntire, the Eagles, and the list goes on.

I can't stop myself from watching! I could have used the evening to catch up Grey's from the last FOUR WEEKS but instead I'm watching the CMA's. I love awards shows, I really do. Two things I can't turn away from: awards shows and all-day marathons of America's Next Top Model. It's a vicious cycle.

Which begs the question of: have you practiced your acceptance speech? I've been practicing mine since I was old enough to know what an awards show is. They differ slightly depending on if I'm practicing for the Oscars or Emmys or Grammys. With Golden Globes you have to be a little more relaxed and have a little more fun. You know...it differs. But, of course, just like you I have practiced my acceptance speech.

Sample from my Oscars speech:

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it, seriously, thank you! Oh, wow, I didn't even put together a speech because I never dreamed this could actually happen! And everyone knows if you practice a speech ahead of time you'll never get the award! I don't even know where to begin!

First of all, I'd like to thank the Academy. This is such an honor. I've always wanted to say that! Oh, wow, who next? I don't want to leave anyone out! I'd like to thank my amazing director, Steven Soderbergh for taking a chance on me. What an amazing experience for my very first movie--you're an amazing director and you made this movie an absolute adventure.

I want to thank my hilarious group of costars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Bernie Mac...and, well, all of the guys that worked on Ocean's 14 with me. You accepted me into your boys club and made every minute of work the most fun I've ever had. Thanks for making me one of the guys! And to Julia Roberts for becoming my new best friend.

Thanks to my manager, my agent, and all the people who work in movies to make other people look good.

Of course I want to thank my wonderful husband for moving out here to L.A. to pursue my dream of an Oscar and for not getting jealous every time I went to work with all those men! You're amazing and supportive and I love you. I want to thank my friends back home, who continue to encourage me and without who I would not be here today.

Thanks to my dad for instilling a love of the arts in me. Thanks to my sister for always listening. My whole family for getting me here after a life full of love and opportunity. Thanks to my mom for believing in me and being my biggest fan, even when John and I gave up lucrative careers in PR and insurance to move out here and go after a dream.

Thank you to God for setting this path for me. I'll try to repay you by never doing nude scenes. Ever.

Finally, I just have to say, because I'm here in Southern California....Boomer Sooner!"



Or something like that...