Tuesday, January 11, 2011

1/11/11 and Fears

It just seems like days like today, 1/11/11, can make people scared or nervous or conspiracy theorists. I guess it goes back to New Year's Day of 2000...remember Y2K and all the paranoia over changing to the new millennium? Today most of the feeds I see are people having fun with it. I'm sure there's lots of weddings happening this random Tuesday.

Anyway...it got me thinking about my phobias, fears, and anxieties. What makes me afraid? My top ten:

1) Driving at night or inclement weather - self-explanatory, right?
2) Getting into a cab at night while on a business trip alone - I am a master at cabs, thanks to the travel I do for work. But there's something about how alone and vulnerable I feel especially at night getting into a cab. I always think about the opening scene from "The Bone Collector" with Angelina Jolie. I like to be on the phone or texting info about my whereabouts to my husband during this time.
3) When my kids sleep late - because my mind immediately thinks they must not be breathing.
4) Carbon monoxide - I should probably just have a detector installed in the house. I'm terrified we'll get poisoned, and my big fear is that I wake up woozy realizing this is what's happening and I'll be the only one that survives. Wow. Heavy.
5) Taking both kids in public by myself. Yep, 11 months later and I'm STILL nervous about this.
6) Flying - always. It's easier now, but not completely relaxing.
7) Being the closest cubicle to the front door at my office - I'm always afraid some lunatic workplace shooter will come through the door and I'll be first. I'm moving cubicles in a few weeks though, so yay! Although now I'll be further from the door and any escape route...
8) Cold calls - for anything. Sometimes even to order food.
9) Driving underneath bridges or overpasses - call me crazy but I feel like if they're going to collapse I have a much better chance at survival if I'm on the overpass versus underneath. I nearly have a panic attack everytime I get stuck underneath one.
10) Open Water - While I loved Hawaii and I loved the snorkeling in calm, supervised waters, my dad had a real near-death experience with the powerful ocean and I also did not like AT ALL snorkeling out in the open water. Drowning, sharks, jellyfish...all big fear. I cannot watch "The Perfect Storm" without wanting to throw up.

So a common theme in my fears is death and death of my loved ones, right? I figure that's probably everyone's fear.

Things I'm NOT afraid of: clowns, the dark, heights. Among other things. When I started this post I really thought it would be fun and light (spiders, casseroles, etc.). Huh...guess not.

I will say that I've calmed down A LOT on my conspiracy theories and my fears about random crime and bad things happening since I stopped watching any "Law and Order" episodes. My husband and I made a deal that he would stop cussing if I would stop watching "Law and Order". Let's just say I held up my end of the bargain while I'm patiently waiting for Colt to yell the f-word when we miss a red light.

I still watch "Criminal Minds" but that's about it. Cutting those shows out of my life helped more than I realized they would. I sleep better at night, too. Anyway...would love to hear other's fears!


alison said...

Promise me you'll get a carbon monoxide detector, like tonight? They're like $30 and SO worth the money. I'm convinced they've saved my life twice, once when I was like 12 and the other in the house we currently live in - our water heater had a gas leak. Please oh please oh please.

Leah said...

I am also afraid of bringing both children anywhere by myself! So terrified in fact that our kids have become hermits! :)

Miss K said...

I had to laugh b/c I share so many of your fears. I have fake called people in a cab MANY times b/c they can;t murder you if you're on the phone, right??? I have terrible night vision and hate driving in the dark. I am reading a book called Fearless by Max Lucado (sp?) and it is really good. It addresses a lot of the free floating anxiety and fears we all have.

Emily said...

When Colin was little, his mom woke up one night to my BIL screaming (he was a baby) and there was blue haze everywhere. Carbon Monoxide leak. If he had not woke her up screaming....

I am also horribly afraid of underpasses. The one under I44 turning into Penn Square mall? Shudder.

But I'm also afraid of clowns and heights.

Chandra said...

Spiders. I have given Alli nightmares by my reaction to a spider before. Super mom!

Huge fear of something happening to Michael and me being left to parent the girls alone...

Spiders...if you are a bug and you have 8 legs, you are always in the wrong.

evawebdiva said...

I posted mine on my blog. Thanks for the idea! :)

Tabitha said...

I had to make myself watching Law & Order SVU (and other shows like that) after having Ella. I was constantly comsumed with fear that something would happen to her!

Alli said...

Great post! I think I could definitely identify with most of those. I had to stop watching Law and Order as well. Amazing how my fears have calmed down considerably after cutting that out. However, they are still alive in Criminal Minds (couldn't give it up even if I wanted to). Mostly my fears have to do with losing Jeff or Karis and that one is quite paralyzing.

Anonymous said...

It's interesting to hear you say that cutting those "killing" shoes (as I call them) helps you sleep at night...I stopped watching them all, well over a year ago, and I feel much less anxiety.

My list of fears is very similar - it includes our little one not breathing, and death and dying in different ways (although I have zero fear of the open water, having grown up at, on or in the ocean)...but I also try to remind myself the odds of an overpass crashing down on me are so, so small, I may as well just get it over with.

Thanks for sharing!

Audrey said...

Keep blogging girl!