Monday, January 10, 2011

It's a good thing, huge opportunity, but I can always find something to complain about!

So, today my husband put in his 2-week notice at the job he's worked at for 8 years, since we were first married. We've been talking for quite a while about what was best for him and our for our family, and a new opportunity came up just in time. He's been through a lot in the last several months, as the economy and restructuring are themes in all pockets of employment these days. And I'm excited for him, but of course nervous for us.

We've grown accostomed to the flexibility and the trust that being a long-term employee brings. We have both worked at the same places for our entire marriage. Which means that while our personal and family life did a complete 180, full of tumultuous and joyous seasons of change, our professional life has been steady and reliable. We've both enjoyed different positions within our respective companies, promotions and the like; but pretty much the same.

This new job also means a dive into more training on his new company, their policies, his position. And it means he will spend 6 weeks in training in Dallas in the near future. I am pretty grumbly about this period of time away. I think that is an extremely long time to ask employees to be away from their families and I'm especially sensitive because we have very small children who are very attached to their dad. So, I am grumbly. Even at my busiest travel seasons I'm not away more than 2 nights at a time.

He will be home on the weekends, but that's not enough to make me feel any better about it. Now, I realize that some people (military spouses in particular) can't feel bad for me. They deal with their spouses being away with NO break for a year or more at a time. I cannot even imagine! I know a lot of people are dealing with tough economies, spouses working miles and miles away permanently. Commuting between cities.

But I've really thought about this for a while, and I don't think it makes my experience or my discomfort any less real or crappy. Just because someone has it worse than me, doesn't mean that what I'm going through is any better for myself. I see a lot of people saying things like "my kid is always sick with step, but so-and-so has cancer so I can't complain". Not that I want a world of complainers, BUT I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to talk about your problems or vent your frustrations. It is a fact in life that someone ALWAYS has it worse than you do. Period. I realize that, and accept that.

I've been making a point to tell that to my friends when they're expressing their frustrations and then suddenly feel guilty about it. "Yes, someone has it worse, but that doesn't make your experience any less valid". I know it can get annoying when people complain all the time, but I also think it's ok to talk about what you're struggling with.

Sigh...just me trying to justify my frustration with John being out of town for so long, I guess. We'll get through it, my sister is practically moving in and my mom and in-laws are ready to help as needed. So I am blessed and will have it much easier than most! This is stemming from a GOOD thing, a great opportunity. And when he returns, he'll be going to a job he LIKES and that hopefully treats him well.

We should all be so lucky.


Anonymous said...

I really feel like people compare EVERYTHING way too much. I completely agree with this post that somethings things SUCK, even if they aren't the SUCKIEST they could be, they still SUCK and we should be aloud to tell about it.

That will be rough having John gone. Although sometimes I think my husband is just another child to take care of, I know that isn't true and it would be really tough without him. As you know, you will make it through, but we will be here to listen to you talk about it being tough!

Leah said...

I totally agree. There will ALWAYS be someone who has it worse off than all of us. But that doesn't mean we aren't struggling with something as well. Our struggles, whatever they may be, are completely valid.

And I totally get the fear of your hubby starting a new job. Change is always hard. I hope this ends up being a blessing for all of you though. :)