Wednesday, January 05, 2011

I wasn't prepared for this

UPDATE: Colt is fabulous after his surgery! Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers. More on that at another time.

Today I want to write about the OTHER little man in my life, Owen. The tiny squishy baby that has turned into a BOY overnight. A lot has been spoken of his older brother lately, and that will probably happen a lot because Colt is loud and showy and doing saying lots of cute 2-year-old sayings.

But somehow, while we were trying to keep up with Colt, Owen quietly and quickly grew up.

It hit me like a ton a bricks after taking the first photo below two weeks ago. He's been pulling up, standing, crawling for over a month now, but two weeks ago when I was dropping him off at school I caught this moment and I couldn't stop staring at how much he's changed. How TALL he is, his sweet facial expression, even how long his hair is growing.

I realized that I had never once imagined what it would be like when he started walking. When he turned one. When he grew up. I have always, always pictured him as my BABY. In my mind he's forever 4 months old.

I feel a mixture of things. Of course I'm grateful that he is growing and accomplishing milestones and developing. But the speed at which these things are happening seem to be so much faster than with Colt. I spent so much of my time with Owen just reveling in his babyness - enjoying my maternity leave, holding him longer, not sharing him as much, and pretty much putting aside WORRYING. No more first-time mom worries and trying to do things by the book. And it was (is) wondrous and joyous.

But it's making it that much harder to let go and let him grow up. He doesn't eat baby food at all. He's almost off bottles. Not a paci boy. Nearly walking. Not a night cuddler anymore. Not really a cuddler at all these days since he'd rather be down and exploring (I know this will pass as Colt is in a phase where he cuddles a lot). He's closer to climbing out of his crib than Colt is.

This is our last baby. And no matter how much he can do or how old he gets, as long as I'm living my baby he'll be.

Owen - slow down. Come fall asleep on Mama's shoulder once in a while! I love you SO MUCH, my Sugar Bear.


alison said...

He. is. delicious. Oh those eyes! I'm so so so apprehensive going into the last (whoa) few months of this pregnancy because I too think this is our last peanut, and I want him or her to be my baby forever. I know the toddler thing is fun, and I'm sure big kid stuff will be fun. And heck, high school will be fun. But. I really want my babies to stay babies. Sigh.

Sammy said...

Owen is super cute! Those eyes are incredible!
I also want time to slooowww down. Blossom is growing so fast and I miss the baby-her even as I celebrate the milestones she's reaching.

Leah said...

Oh, this post just made me cry, cause these babies of ours DO grow up too fast! Today I took my lil girl to her 6 month Dr's appointment, and as happy I am that she is growing and developing, I want her to SLOW DOWN! I love this age. I love that she still puts her little head on my shoulder and cuddles. This all goes by SO fast!