Sunday, April 25, 2010
Our life makes me smile
Don't the first two pictures melt your heart? Brothers sharing secrets, and Owen finally letting me get his smile on camera! Enjoy!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Land Run Day
As most of you know, I live in Oklahoma. Not The Pioneer Woman Oklahoma, but normal everyday city Oklahoma where we have a lot of things but a Crate and Barrel is not one of them. Love it, am very proud of it. And because many of you DON'T live here, I feel the need to tell you a memory that only a child born and raised in Oklahoma can share.
Today is Land Run Day. In case you didn't know, Oklahoma as a state began formally (albeit not officially) on April 22, 1889 with the Land Run. And we celebrate this as part of Oklahoma History. This is the day the lands of Oklahoma were opened up for pioneers to stake their claims in a massive run that established such great cities as Oklahoma City in a matter of hours.
'Round these parts, 4th grade is (was?) the year for Oklahoma History. Later in high school we had a semester of Oklahoma History as well, but in 4th grade you spent a year studying the vast amounts of Native American and land thief roots that brought this state to reality.
The pinnacle of 4th grade Oklahoma History was Land Run Day. This is what we spent all year working toward. 4th graders got to reenact the Land Run. We spent weeks with our assigned "families" building covered wagons after school out of Radio Flyers and chicken wire. Our moms made (or bought) bonnets and pioneer woman dresses. The boys wore their cowboy boots. And every single elementary school in Oklahoma roped off plots for claiming on their playgrounds each April 22nd morning.
Since every school did it, every child under 4th grade spent years waiting for their turn. And when it finally came, it was the BEST. DAY. EVER. We lined up, a whistle went off, and we took off for the best land plot. I remember getting close to what we wanted. Thought it wasn't fully shaded by the one shade tree on the playgound, it did have some shade and we enjoyed our day of snacking on our bagged lunches for the afternoon.
We built our covered wagon at my friend Amber's house. April 22nd is actually her birthday. All these years later and I can still remember her birth date because it's Land Run Day. And I remember wearing a blue pioneer dress that looked a lot like my American Girl doll, Kirsten's dress, with a pink bonnet just like her.
It was just a fun day. Maybe I'll find pictures. But now you can all be jealous that you did not grow up in Oklahoma during 4th grade. It was awesome, I assure you.
The Land Run also gave my great alma mater (University of Oklahoma) both it's mascot name (Sooners) AND it's fight song ("Boomer Sooner"). And if you just clicked on all those links, you really DO want to be an Okie like me!
Thanks for letting me remember this historic day!
Today is Land Run Day. In case you didn't know, Oklahoma as a state began formally (albeit not officially) on April 22, 1889 with the Land Run. And we celebrate this as part of Oklahoma History. This is the day the lands of Oklahoma were opened up for pioneers to stake their claims in a massive run that established such great cities as Oklahoma City in a matter of hours.
'Round these parts, 4th grade is (was?) the year for Oklahoma History. Later in high school we had a semester of Oklahoma History as well, but in 4th grade you spent a year studying the vast amounts of Native American and land thief roots that brought this state to reality.
The pinnacle of 4th grade Oklahoma History was Land Run Day. This is what we spent all year working toward. 4th graders got to reenact the Land Run. We spent weeks with our assigned "families" building covered wagons after school out of Radio Flyers and chicken wire. Our moms made (or bought) bonnets and pioneer woman dresses. The boys wore their cowboy boots. And every single elementary school in Oklahoma roped off plots for claiming on their playgrounds each April 22nd morning.
Since every school did it, every child under 4th grade spent years waiting for their turn. And when it finally came, it was the BEST. DAY. EVER. We lined up, a whistle went off, and we took off for the best land plot. I remember getting close to what we wanted. Thought it wasn't fully shaded by the one shade tree on the playgound, it did have some shade and we enjoyed our day of snacking on our bagged lunches for the afternoon.
We built our covered wagon at my friend Amber's house. April 22nd is actually her birthday. All these years later and I can still remember her birth date because it's Land Run Day. And I remember wearing a blue pioneer dress that looked a lot like my American Girl doll, Kirsten's dress, with a pink bonnet just like her.
It was just a fun day. Maybe I'll find pictures. But now you can all be jealous that you did not grow up in Oklahoma during 4th grade. It was awesome, I assure you.
The Land Run also gave my great alma mater (University of Oklahoma) both it's mascot name (Sooners) AND it's fight song ("Boomer Sooner"). And if you just clicked on all those links, you really DO want to be an Okie like me!
Thanks for letting me remember this historic day!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wow, like, a REAL blog post!
This week has gone surprisingly very well. One of the great benefits to having kids in daycare is that they have so much fun playing all day they sleep very well at night. Here I am after TWO nights in a row of both children sleeping soundly through the night. I'm not saying I'm getting used to it, rather just enjoying it when it happens.
Although, the downside is that when I wake up in the morning after uninterrupted sleep I immediately jump out of bed, run to Owen's room and check his breathing. I'll be glad when that panic goes away at about 9 months!
Another thing I've discovered: caffeine has a much larger effect on me than I ever realized. Or maybe ever wanted to admit. This week, kind of by accident, I stopped drinking caffeine after lunch. And, whaddya know, I feel asleep faster and slept REALLY good sleep each night. Now, maybe it has to do with going back to work but I like to think it's because I'm making healthier choices.
Speaking of healthier choices, I promise one day I'm going to start the 30-Day Shred. Promise. I just haven't found the time. Which is so not an excuse because I need to make the time. I have yet to fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. So instead of buckling down and eating right and exercising, I just went and bought "transition clothes" to get me through. Sigh...what a waste of money when I have a closet full of adorable clothes in a size I'm proud to wear and wish I could wear again. I'll work on my stomach and butt, but if someone could please encourage my boobs to shrink back to their normal size (which is still too large for my taste) I would REALLY appreciate it.
I am pretty happy with how this week has gone. I've managed to keep up with laundry, keep the house picked up, given John some golf time, AND I'm only 2 shows behind on my DVR. Success, if I do say so myself.
Today I officially have a 2-month-old and a 16-month-old, and I absolutely love it. Owen had shots yesterday at his 2-month checkup and it was quite traumatizing. At Colt's 2-month appointment John went with me so I could avoid feeling so guilty. This time it's all me. Good news is that Owen is growing like a week, 12.8 pounds and 23 1/4 inches. He's grabbing, smiling a little, making eye contact, and has great neck control...other than that there's not much I can ask from him!
Word of warning: make sure you understand ALL the ins and outs of maternity leave and vacation with your company. Or you, too, could be out a paycheck. I did not truly grasp the situation at hand and ended up losing a chunk of my normal paycheck. We'll be fine (thanks Dave Ramsey and Emergency Fund), but still...starting a second child in daycare is NOT the time to be out any money!
Speaking of Dave Ramsey, we haven't been full-on Debt Snowballing yet, but we did use our tax money to pay off one of our cars, all the remaining medical bills, and stock our emergency fund. We still have a long way to go (another car, credit card with adoption expenses, and the house) but, you know, we're in a much better place now than a month ago! Gotta love it.
And you know my ongoing hatred for all things medical bills...well, we got one in the mail the other day that I had no problem paying. Writing a check to pay for my epidural was easily the happiest I've ever been giving my hard-earned money away. It also made me all the more grateful for my health insurance as it only cost me $160. Worth every. stinking. penny.
I've gone on long enough...have a great weekend! I'll be busy celebrating my first year of being 29, as my birthday is tomorrow!
Although, the downside is that when I wake up in the morning after uninterrupted sleep I immediately jump out of bed, run to Owen's room and check his breathing. I'll be glad when that panic goes away at about 9 months!
Another thing I've discovered: caffeine has a much larger effect on me than I ever realized. Or maybe ever wanted to admit. This week, kind of by accident, I stopped drinking caffeine after lunch. And, whaddya know, I feel asleep faster and slept REALLY good sleep each night. Now, maybe it has to do with going back to work but I like to think it's because I'm making healthier choices.
Speaking of healthier choices, I promise one day I'm going to start the 30-Day Shred. Promise. I just haven't found the time. Which is so not an excuse because I need to make the time. I have yet to fit into any of my pre-pregnancy clothes. So instead of buckling down and eating right and exercising, I just went and bought "transition clothes" to get me through. Sigh...what a waste of money when I have a closet full of adorable clothes in a size I'm proud to wear and wish I could wear again. I'll work on my stomach and butt, but if someone could please encourage my boobs to shrink back to their normal size (which is still too large for my taste) I would REALLY appreciate it.
I am pretty happy with how this week has gone. I've managed to keep up with laundry, keep the house picked up, given John some golf time, AND I'm only 2 shows behind on my DVR. Success, if I do say so myself.
Today I officially have a 2-month-old and a 16-month-old, and I absolutely love it. Owen had shots yesterday at his 2-month checkup and it was quite traumatizing. At Colt's 2-month appointment John went with me so I could avoid feeling so guilty. This time it's all me. Good news is that Owen is growing like a week, 12.8 pounds and 23 1/4 inches. He's grabbing, smiling a little, making eye contact, and has great neck control...other than that there's not much I can ask from him!
Word of warning: make sure you understand ALL the ins and outs of maternity leave and vacation with your company. Or you, too, could be out a paycheck. I did not truly grasp the situation at hand and ended up losing a chunk of my normal paycheck. We'll be fine (thanks Dave Ramsey and Emergency Fund), but still...starting a second child in daycare is NOT the time to be out any money!
Speaking of Dave Ramsey, we haven't been full-on Debt Snowballing yet, but we did use our tax money to pay off one of our cars, all the remaining medical bills, and stock our emergency fund. We still have a long way to go (another car, credit card with adoption expenses, and the house) but, you know, we're in a much better place now than a month ago! Gotta love it.
And you know my ongoing hatred for all things medical bills...well, we got one in the mail the other day that I had no problem paying. Writing a check to pay for my epidural was easily the happiest I've ever been giving my hard-earned money away. It also made me all the more grateful for my health insurance as it only cost me $160. Worth every. stinking. penny.
I've gone on long enough...have a great weekend! I'll be busy celebrating my first year of being 29, as my birthday is tomorrow!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Return to Work
Well, yesterday I returned from my 8-week maternity leave back to the grindstone at work. I had been dreading it since the day the leave started. Not because I hate my job or my work, but because I hate leaving my babies.
I wrote here about all the things I wanted to do differently on my maternity leave this time. It was a lot easier for many reasons: knowing what to expect (generally) and not fearing a phone call from our agency were among the top reasons. Once I was physically recovered it was much easier to convince myself to get out, even for the littlest thing. I also did a fairly good job (if I do say so myself) of keeping the house picked up and laundry done and our general household operating smoothly.
And while doing all these things, I also worried less about "THE SCHEDULE" and didn't Babycenter the heck out of every little cry. I ENJOYED every second of snuggling with Owen because I knew I would never, ever get these 8 weeks back nor would I have another opportunity for such consistent one-on-one time. Even if I didn't have to work, I would have had Big Brother at home and Owen and I would have had far less bonding time. I am so, so grateful for the time with my second baby...I know few second children get that and I will always look back fondly on this.
Dropping off at daycare was far less traumatic than with Colt. I already knew the teachers and the schedule and the care Owen would receive. They LOVE his brother, I knew they would fall madly in love with him, too. Especially after we switched formula (AGAIN) and got his fussing settled down and made him a happier baby. I still dreaded the end of our time together, I dreaded the morning, I cried like a baby when handing him over to our beloved Mrs. V. But my heart didn't break as it did with Colt because I knew what a blessing this center is to our family.
So here I am, back at work. Trying to get into a routine, trying to balance the few precious hours I get with my 3 boys with being a great employee. All the more mindful of how blessed I am to work for a company and a boss that are flexible with me and the technology of smartphones and Wi-Fi and laptops...but admittedly struggling with jealousy for my friends that get all day every day with their babies. I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but today I will embrace those ugly and depressing emotions and feelings. And after I embrace those feelings, I'll dial in to my conference call and count down hours til I head home to sloppy toddler kisses and baby smiles.
I wrote here about all the things I wanted to do differently on my maternity leave this time. It was a lot easier for many reasons: knowing what to expect (generally) and not fearing a phone call from our agency were among the top reasons. Once I was physically recovered it was much easier to convince myself to get out, even for the littlest thing. I also did a fairly good job (if I do say so myself) of keeping the house picked up and laundry done and our general household operating smoothly.
And while doing all these things, I also worried less about "THE SCHEDULE" and didn't Babycenter the heck out of every little cry. I ENJOYED every second of snuggling with Owen because I knew I would never, ever get these 8 weeks back nor would I have another opportunity for such consistent one-on-one time. Even if I didn't have to work, I would have had Big Brother at home and Owen and I would have had far less bonding time. I am so, so grateful for the time with my second baby...I know few second children get that and I will always look back fondly on this.
Dropping off at daycare was far less traumatic than with Colt. I already knew the teachers and the schedule and the care Owen would receive. They LOVE his brother, I knew they would fall madly in love with him, too. Especially after we switched formula (AGAIN) and got his fussing settled down and made him a happier baby. I still dreaded the end of our time together, I dreaded the morning, I cried like a baby when handing him over to our beloved Mrs. V. But my heart didn't break as it did with Colt because I knew what a blessing this center is to our family.
So here I am, back at work. Trying to get into a routine, trying to balance the few precious hours I get with my 3 boys with being a great employee. All the more mindful of how blessed I am to work for a company and a boss that are flexible with me and the technology of smartphones and Wi-Fi and laptops...but admittedly struggling with jealousy for my friends that get all day every day with their babies. I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but today I will embrace those ugly and depressing emotions and feelings. And after I embrace those feelings, I'll dial in to my conference call and count down hours til I head home to sloppy toddler kisses and baby smiles.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Easter Sunday 2010
FINALLY got some good ones of the boys together. The Easter Bunny was good to us!
The last few weeks
We've had a fun few weeks, with my grandparents and aunt visiting. They had a blast seeing the boys. My grandma held Owen for about 2 1/2 days straight! This is the perfect time, because pretty soon he'll either be too big or too mobile for long periods of snuggling! Colt, even though battling a nasty case of strep, was still a show-off. He especially loved his aunt Linda who played and played with him and always brings good toys!
We also had an impromptu playdate at Anna's house, where we realized both needed baths and now is an OK time for girl/boy bath sharing. In a few years it will NOT be ok, so we relished the photo op while we could!
Owen is getting huge. Next Monday starts his first day at daycare...to say I'm sad and nervous and depressed about it would be a gigantic understatement. I KNOW it will be ok, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. But I'm going to cross that bridge when I get there.
We also had an impromptu playdate at Anna's house, where we realized both needed baths and now is an OK time for girl/boy bath sharing. In a few years it will NOT be ok, so we relished the photo op while we could!
Owen is getting huge. Next Monday starts his first day at daycare...to say I'm sad and nervous and depressed about it would be a gigantic understatement. I KNOW it will be ok, but it doesn't make it any less difficult. But I'm going to cross that bridge when I get there.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Strep sucks
Owen is snoring soundly in his bouncy chair, so I thought I'd hop on and try to update!
We had a wonderful weekend with my grandparents and aunt in town. They got to meet Owen and Colt was able to show off some of his new tricks...including how he can be in a great mood even while very, very sick.
I managed to shell out $60 in doctor co-pays by making THREE separate trips to the doctor between Wednesday and Saturday. First, I'd finally had enough of watching Owen writhe in discomfort and cry all day long, so Wednesday I took him to the doctor to see what we could do about obvious reflux issues. A new formula and Rx for baby Zantac later and he's like a new child! I'm SO glad we went.
Thursday I got a call from school that Colt was running a high temperature. When I picked him up he was pathetic, clearly aching and sleepy. They ran tests for RSV, flu, and strep and ALL came back negative. Just a virus...so we headed to my mom's to visit with the family.
By Saturday it wasn't any better. He wasn't sleeping, and when he woke up that morning (screaming) he had 102.5 temp and had the feverish chills. I'm here to tell you there is nothing sadder than a toddler that is shaking with chills, burning up, grabbing onto your neck and still crying uncontrollably. Broke my heart so we headed into the Saturday clinic at the doctor's office. Well, the throat culture had come back positive for strep! Good thing we took him in or he would have spent all weekend untreated! After a round of antibiotics and lots of fluids he was back to himself by Saturday night.
So we're back to having two healthy kiddos, and in the meantime spent some much-needed time with family. My grandma held Owen for about 2 1/2 straight days. She LOVES babies and had been looking forward to cuddling with Owen. She'd snuggle all day with Colt, too, if he'd let her but, alas, he is MUCH too busy to be held by anybody! I was glad for both Owen and my grandma that they had that time to bond. I also got a little time away to go shopping with my aunt, and even got a few early birthday presents!
I go back to work in 2 weeks, but I'm refusing to acknowledge that. While normally I'd think "I ONLY have two weeks left" instead I'm thinking "Wow, I have TWO weeks!!". Going to take it easy this week and just cuddle with Owen as much as possible.
I wish I had more exciting updates to provide you! But things are happy and as peaceful as they can be. I always think of blog posts when I'm lying in bed or away from the computer but then I forget them by the time I get here. Hopefully I'll do better soon!
Off to watch some movies on Netflix, which now streams through our Wii console and it's AWESOME. There, that's your excitement!
We had a wonderful weekend with my grandparents and aunt in town. They got to meet Owen and Colt was able to show off some of his new tricks...including how he can be in a great mood even while very, very sick.
I managed to shell out $60 in doctor co-pays by making THREE separate trips to the doctor between Wednesday and Saturday. First, I'd finally had enough of watching Owen writhe in discomfort and cry all day long, so Wednesday I took him to the doctor to see what we could do about obvious reflux issues. A new formula and Rx for baby Zantac later and he's like a new child! I'm SO glad we went.
Thursday I got a call from school that Colt was running a high temperature. When I picked him up he was pathetic, clearly aching and sleepy. They ran tests for RSV, flu, and strep and ALL came back negative. Just a virus...so we headed to my mom's to visit with the family.
By Saturday it wasn't any better. He wasn't sleeping, and when he woke up that morning (screaming) he had 102.5 temp and had the feverish chills. I'm here to tell you there is nothing sadder than a toddler that is shaking with chills, burning up, grabbing onto your neck and still crying uncontrollably. Broke my heart so we headed into the Saturday clinic at the doctor's office. Well, the throat culture had come back positive for strep! Good thing we took him in or he would have spent all weekend untreated! After a round of antibiotics and lots of fluids he was back to himself by Saturday night.
So we're back to having two healthy kiddos, and in the meantime spent some much-needed time with family. My grandma held Owen for about 2 1/2 straight days. She LOVES babies and had been looking forward to cuddling with Owen. She'd snuggle all day with Colt, too, if he'd let her but, alas, he is MUCH too busy to be held by anybody! I was glad for both Owen and my grandma that they had that time to bond. I also got a little time away to go shopping with my aunt, and even got a few early birthday presents!
I go back to work in 2 weeks, but I'm refusing to acknowledge that. While normally I'd think "I ONLY have two weeks left" instead I'm thinking "Wow, I have TWO weeks!!". Going to take it easy this week and just cuddle with Owen as much as possible.
I wish I had more exciting updates to provide you! But things are happy and as peaceful as they can be. I always think of blog posts when I'm lying in bed or away from the computer but then I forget them by the time I get here. Hopefully I'll do better soon!
Off to watch some movies on Netflix, which now streams through our Wii console and it's AWESOME. There, that's your excitement!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
New pictures!
A few developments over the last few weeks:
Colt:
- Now likes to carry his blue blanket around the house with him in the mornings, looking like Linus from Peanuts.
- We were having a hard time getting him to eat for the longest time. Finally, we moved him out of the high chair and into the booster seat, and started giving him all food on a plate or in a bowl. He feels like SUCH a big boy, he eats every bite. He's also practicing with spoon/fork though we've got a loooooong way to go.
- He LOVES brushing his teeth (after mom or dad brush first, of course!)
-He downed almost a whole bowl of Tomato Florentine soup the other night at Zio's...that kid eats weird stuff!
- He cannot get enough of playing outside. It's a sad, sad day if the weather is not nice enough to run around the backyard!
Owen:
- He's becoming more and more alert, staying awake for longer periods of time.
- Still not sleeping through the night, but is at least consistent.
- Still a total cuddlebug, he would sleep for hours on my shoulder. I'm taking advantage of this now!
- His hair is getting more and more red. The boy is officially a red head.
- Still not sure how much he wants to eat, back and forth between 4-5 oz.
- I've gotten a few smiles...not sure if they are "real" but I'm hoping so! They're awfully cute!
- Finally is digging the swing!
And that's what's going on with the Anderson's!
Colt:
- Now likes to carry his blue blanket around the house with him in the mornings, looking like Linus from Peanuts.
- We were having a hard time getting him to eat for the longest time. Finally, we moved him out of the high chair and into the booster seat, and started giving him all food on a plate or in a bowl. He feels like SUCH a big boy, he eats every bite. He's also practicing with spoon/fork though we've got a loooooong way to go.
- He LOVES brushing his teeth (after mom or dad brush first, of course!)
-He downed almost a whole bowl of Tomato Florentine soup the other night at Zio's...that kid eats weird stuff!
- He cannot get enough of playing outside. It's a sad, sad day if the weather is not nice enough to run around the backyard!
Owen:
- He's becoming more and more alert, staying awake for longer periods of time.
- Still not sleeping through the night, but is at least consistent.
- Still a total cuddlebug, he would sleep for hours on my shoulder. I'm taking advantage of this now!
- His hair is getting more and more red. The boy is officially a red head.
- Still not sure how much he wants to eat, back and forth between 4-5 oz.
- I've gotten a few smiles...not sure if they are "real" but I'm hoping so! They're awfully cute!
- Finally is digging the swing!
And that's what's going on with the Anderson's!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Just some things I was thinking...
In lieu of original thought, here are some random things coming your way:
- I have an unhealthy sadness about Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. I feel lied to...the entire awards season he supported her and she raved on and on about their love and relationship. She's fighting for custody of his daughter with him. She deserves so much better. It makes me very sad. (this is my celebrity obsession speaking)
- We took Colt to his 15-month appointment yesterday. He weighed over 28 pounds and was 32.5 inches long! He is BIG and thriving and happy and right on track. Since we were all there we snuck Owen on to the scales. Already 10 pounds!! He is going to be a BIG boy too! I am so proud my boys are thriving.
- I have been wildly productive this week, to the point that all the goals I had for maternity leave are complete except for the baby books. But other than pictures and the last few months of Colt's first year, I have both filled out! I think I'll be done by the time I go back to work. I've organized our closet, sorted, organized, and packed away Colt's clothes from the past year and they are ready for Owen to grow into, I've done marathon laundry wash, dry, fold, and put away sessions, cleaned our bedroom, kept the rest of the house clean, wrote and mailed all thank you cards, wrote letters and sent pictures to Colt's birthmom, and spent MOST of my time cuddling with Owen and catching up on DVR and Netflix. It has been successful and I still have 3 weeks to go!
- I don't want to go back to work. Already. That's all.
- Owen's sleeping habits still have little regularity and are not getting any longer at night. This is a great source of frustration. But I know it will pass. It's just frustrating.
- I was cleared by my OB/GYN this week. He asked me what birth control I wanted to use. I laughed. I haven't thought about birth control in over 4 years! I didn't even know what to say so he just prescribed me some pill. Hope it works!
- My grandparents and favorite aunt are coming next week and I could not be more excited. I can't wait for them to see all of Colt's new tricks and meet Owen...they are beyond excited too.
- I love texting.
- I had a dream last night involving the Kardashians fighting at my spa day. I don't like dreaming about the Kardashians.
- My March Madness bracket is already screwed and the first day of games is not even over yet.
That's all for now. More randomness to come very soon!
- I have an unhealthy sadness about Sandra Bullock and Jesse James. I feel lied to...the entire awards season he supported her and she raved on and on about their love and relationship. She's fighting for custody of his daughter with him. She deserves so much better. It makes me very sad. (this is my celebrity obsession speaking)
- We took Colt to his 15-month appointment yesterday. He weighed over 28 pounds and was 32.5 inches long! He is BIG and thriving and happy and right on track. Since we were all there we snuck Owen on to the scales. Already 10 pounds!! He is going to be a BIG boy too! I am so proud my boys are thriving.
- I have been wildly productive this week, to the point that all the goals I had for maternity leave are complete except for the baby books. But other than pictures and the last few months of Colt's first year, I have both filled out! I think I'll be done by the time I go back to work. I've organized our closet, sorted, organized, and packed away Colt's clothes from the past year and they are ready for Owen to grow into, I've done marathon laundry wash, dry, fold, and put away sessions, cleaned our bedroom, kept the rest of the house clean, wrote and mailed all thank you cards, wrote letters and sent pictures to Colt's birthmom, and spent MOST of my time cuddling with Owen and catching up on DVR and Netflix. It has been successful and I still have 3 weeks to go!
- I don't want to go back to work. Already. That's all.
- Owen's sleeping habits still have little regularity and are not getting any longer at night. This is a great source of frustration. But I know it will pass. It's just frustrating.
- I was cleared by my OB/GYN this week. He asked me what birth control I wanted to use. I laughed. I haven't thought about birth control in over 4 years! I didn't even know what to say so he just prescribed me some pill. Hope it works!
- My grandparents and favorite aunt are coming next week and I could not be more excited. I can't wait for them to see all of Colt's new tricks and meet Owen...they are beyond excited too.
- I love texting.
- I had a dream last night involving the Kardashians fighting at my spa day. I don't like dreaming about the Kardashians.
- My March Madness bracket is already screwed and the first day of games is not even over yet.
That's all for now. More randomness to come very soon!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Owen is 1 month old!
My Darling Owen,
I can't even believe it, but you are 1 month old today! It's gone by so fast, it seems like you've been a part of our lives for so long.
You are growing like crazy. Just two weeks ago you were already up to 8 pounds! Starting today we're even moving into the BIG bottles and trying 5 oz at a time...you clearly feel like you can handle it! You're finally able to fit into a few 0-3 month size clothes, however your Newborn size sleepers are still the best and fit perfectly. I will be so sad when you can no longer wear them!
You're SO laid back and easy going, a total cuddler. I feel like your brother really helped me get my fears and worries about newborns out of the way and I am able to enjoy this stage much, much more. During my maternity leave we've mostly just stayed home, on the couch, cuddling. I LOVE THIS. I love doing nothing but holding you, listening to your snores, smelling your sweet formula breath, touching your soft hair, kissing your beautiful cheeks. You're a dream come true.
You're starting to be awake more during the day. Your eyes are dark in color but bright with life and curiosity. They have a sparkle to them, and I love to see them. You stare deep into my face and my eyes and I feel like I could drown in your stare. To watch you studying me, to watch you find peace in my smile and in my voice and my touch is the greatest blessing I have as your mom. It's something I heard about but until you and Colt were in my life I just couldn't understand.
You are NOISY! In a really cute way. You make noise all the time. Snoring, sighing, eating, breathing, stretching...everything you do has it's own little noise and those noises are the soundtrack for my day. Everyone that holds you, and I mean everyone, asks if you "talk" like that all the time...the answer is a resounding YES! You're going to have a lot to say as you grow up!
You're a very messy eater, but even that is starting to clear up. You're changing every day, looking more and more like yourself instead of a mini-version of me. You're getting used to the swaddle and it helps calm you at night. You're even taking the paci a little more each day, though it's still not your favorite.
Owen, I honestly didn't know what to expect when I found out you'd be joining us. I was so scared. Scared what your birth would do to our family dynamic. But, oh, how I didn't need to be scared. You've added so much to our family in just one month! Your brother is fascinated with you and every day he's growing to understand you and help take care of you. I LOVE watching him with you, and I go to bed at night dreaming of what your relationship will be like as the two of you grow up.
Life is getting a little more routine. We're figuring out how to go places all 4 of us, and yesterday we took you to church for the first time. I know we'll have our ups and downs over the next few months and years, but I am so, so thankful to have YOU along for the ride. I just can't believe how full my heart is. I love you with every fiber of my being. You've completed us!
Love,
Mommy
I can't even believe it, but you are 1 month old today! It's gone by so fast, it seems like you've been a part of our lives for so long.
You are growing like crazy. Just two weeks ago you were already up to 8 pounds! Starting today we're even moving into the BIG bottles and trying 5 oz at a time...you clearly feel like you can handle it! You're finally able to fit into a few 0-3 month size clothes, however your Newborn size sleepers are still the best and fit perfectly. I will be so sad when you can no longer wear them!
You're SO laid back and easy going, a total cuddler. I feel like your brother really helped me get my fears and worries about newborns out of the way and I am able to enjoy this stage much, much more. During my maternity leave we've mostly just stayed home, on the couch, cuddling. I LOVE THIS. I love doing nothing but holding you, listening to your snores, smelling your sweet formula breath, touching your soft hair, kissing your beautiful cheeks. You're a dream come true.
You're starting to be awake more during the day. Your eyes are dark in color but bright with life and curiosity. They have a sparkle to them, and I love to see them. You stare deep into my face and my eyes and I feel like I could drown in your stare. To watch you studying me, to watch you find peace in my smile and in my voice and my touch is the greatest blessing I have as your mom. It's something I heard about but until you and Colt were in my life I just couldn't understand.
You are NOISY! In a really cute way. You make noise all the time. Snoring, sighing, eating, breathing, stretching...everything you do has it's own little noise and those noises are the soundtrack for my day. Everyone that holds you, and I mean everyone, asks if you "talk" like that all the time...the answer is a resounding YES! You're going to have a lot to say as you grow up!
You're a very messy eater, but even that is starting to clear up. You're changing every day, looking more and more like yourself instead of a mini-version of me. You're getting used to the swaddle and it helps calm you at night. You're even taking the paci a little more each day, though it's still not your favorite.
Owen, I honestly didn't know what to expect when I found out you'd be joining us. I was so scared. Scared what your birth would do to our family dynamic. But, oh, how I didn't need to be scared. You've added so much to our family in just one month! Your brother is fascinated with you and every day he's growing to understand you and help take care of you. I LOVE watching him with you, and I go to bed at night dreaming of what your relationship will be like as the two of you grow up.
Life is getting a little more routine. We're figuring out how to go places all 4 of us, and yesterday we took you to church for the first time. I know we'll have our ups and downs over the next few months and years, but I am so, so thankful to have YOU along for the ride. I just can't believe how full my heart is. I love you with every fiber of my being. You've completed us!
Love,
Mommy
Monday, March 08, 2010
My Boys
What have we been doing since the last picture update? So much and so little at the same time!
We've had a full-blown walking explosion with Colt. A head injury (still bruised, poor guy...walking is hard!). Beautiful spring days and lots of time outside with Daddy hitting golf balls and watching hot air balloons. A few full-family outings, our first to breakfast at McDonald's. Trying out new things with Owen, like the swing and a first bath. Shopping. Meeting new friends and enjoying great food deliveries. Joining Netflix. GROWING (Owen was 8 pounds at his 2 week check up, up a pound and 4 oz and 1 whole inch!). Colt was sick a few days last week so we spent some time just mommy and boys....YIKES!
So, it's been a great couple of weeks! Colt is still doing well with Owen, and sleep is touch-and-go but not terrible. Owen is in a phase right now that he doesn't like to be put down, wants to be held all the time. Knowing this will pass too quickly I'm trying to enjoy it...my challenge is convincing Daddy to enjoy this!
Blessed, blessed, blessed are we.
We've had a full-blown walking explosion with Colt. A head injury (still bruised, poor guy...walking is hard!). Beautiful spring days and lots of time outside with Daddy hitting golf balls and watching hot air balloons. A few full-family outings, our first to breakfast at McDonald's. Trying out new things with Owen, like the swing and a first bath. Shopping. Meeting new friends and enjoying great food deliveries. Joining Netflix. GROWING (Owen was 8 pounds at his 2 week check up, up a pound and 4 oz and 1 whole inch!). Colt was sick a few days last week so we spent some time just mommy and boys....YIKES!
So, it's been a great couple of weeks! Colt is still doing well with Owen, and sleep is touch-and-go but not terrible. Owen is in a phase right now that he doesn't like to be put down, wants to be held all the time. Knowing this will pass too quickly I'm trying to enjoy it...my challenge is convincing Daddy to enjoy this!
Blessed, blessed, blessed are we.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday memories
Just a few things to remember:
Saturday we took our first outing as a family of four. We went to breakfast at McDonald's. Which, if you know me and know what I do for work, is so very appropriate. Owen slept the whole time and Colt had a great time eating everything in sight and climbing on the table.
That afternoon, my mom, sister, Colt, and I went shopping. I was exhausted! But I got some new clothes for Owen (he's so tiny still, nothing in 0-3 months fits and I only had a few newborn size outfits) plus a Baby Book for him. We stopped for a snack and Colt discovered the wonder that is chocolate pie. He was an absolute doll all day, giggling and smiling and blowing kisses. Talking, singing and just clearly enjoying his day with just Mommy.
I know I've mentioned it on here before. But Colt has a sign that he makes when he wants us to sing to him. And he wants us to sing ALL. THE. TIME. He turns his hands like he's doing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and that means sing. Anything. Well, technically it means sing but he has particular favorites and if you're not singing that song he shakes his head "no" and signs until you start something else and get to the song he wants. He's move on from Itsy Bitsy, Wheels on the Bus, Read your Bible and Pray Every Day, and ABC. Right now he LOVES Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Boomer Sooner, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Jesus Loves Me, I love You, and my personal favorites This Little Light of Mine and The Wise Man. Both of which he knows the hand motions to and it breaks me down every time. His teachers talk about how he loves his songs and loves circle time when everyone sings together. So, so sweet.
Then that night, my mom and stepdad brought over a FEAST. John grilled delicious steaks on the grill, and my mom proceeded to fix tons of delicious sides. Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, corn, spinach, and rolls. She used all my lovely serving dishes and we ate around the table as a family: my stepdad, mom, sister, John and me. Colt was in bed, Owen sleeping as well. It was so nice. I should have taken a picture of how lovely the table looked and how delicious the food was. We NEEDED that after the last two weeks...I just can't even describe how awesome it was. Then we had key lime pie to top it off. Mom then CLEANED everything up for me! No mess for me to worry about. After all that, she still sat down and cuddled Owen for the rest of the night and Bill played Wii with John (he'd snuggled Owen for a long time before dinner).
People keep telling me to just call if I need anything, and I never really know what I NEED. People have brought us dinner and that's been amazing and something we have desperately needed while adjusting to life with both Colt and Owen. Especially when I was physically so depleted. But really, all I can think of this time is that I need people to come visit. I need company. I need people to come and love on my kids. So last night was truly, in my eyes, perfect.
An all-around great Saturday!
See below for another new entry "The Birth Story".
Saturday we took our first outing as a family of four. We went to breakfast at McDonald's. Which, if you know me and know what I do for work, is so very appropriate. Owen slept the whole time and Colt had a great time eating everything in sight and climbing on the table.
That afternoon, my mom, sister, Colt, and I went shopping. I was exhausted! But I got some new clothes for Owen (he's so tiny still, nothing in 0-3 months fits and I only had a few newborn size outfits) plus a Baby Book for him. We stopped for a snack and Colt discovered the wonder that is chocolate pie. He was an absolute doll all day, giggling and smiling and blowing kisses. Talking, singing and just clearly enjoying his day with just Mommy.
I know I've mentioned it on here before. But Colt has a sign that he makes when he wants us to sing to him. And he wants us to sing ALL. THE. TIME. He turns his hands like he's doing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and that means sing. Anything. Well, technically it means sing but he has particular favorites and if you're not singing that song he shakes his head "no" and signs until you start something else and get to the song he wants. He's move on from Itsy Bitsy, Wheels on the Bus, Read your Bible and Pray Every Day, and ABC. Right now he LOVES Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Boomer Sooner, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Jesus Loves Me, I love You, and my personal favorites This Little Light of Mine and The Wise Man. Both of which he knows the hand motions to and it breaks me down every time. His teachers talk about how he loves his songs and loves circle time when everyone sings together. So, so sweet.
Then that night, my mom and stepdad brought over a FEAST. John grilled delicious steaks on the grill, and my mom proceeded to fix tons of delicious sides. Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, corn, spinach, and rolls. She used all my lovely serving dishes and we ate around the table as a family: my stepdad, mom, sister, John and me. Colt was in bed, Owen sleeping as well. It was so nice. I should have taken a picture of how lovely the table looked and how delicious the food was. We NEEDED that after the last two weeks...I just can't even describe how awesome it was. Then we had key lime pie to top it off. Mom then CLEANED everything up for me! No mess for me to worry about. After all that, she still sat down and cuddled Owen for the rest of the night and Bill played Wii with John (he'd snuggled Owen for a long time before dinner).
People keep telling me to just call if I need anything, and I never really know what I NEED. People have brought us dinner and that's been amazing and something we have desperately needed while adjusting to life with both Colt and Owen. Especially when I was physically so depleted. But really, all I can think of this time is that I need people to come visit. I need company. I need people to come and love on my kids. So last night was truly, in my eyes, perfect.
An all-around great Saturday!
See below for another new entry "The Birth Story".
The Birth Story
So, the last few nights Owen has slept wonderfully! And I...have not. I'm not sleepy at all past the first few hours. I lie in bed tossing and turning wishing I could fall back asleep. It's really not the best of situations, as my mind wanders and I tend to get weepy about things.
Since Owen was born, I find myself feeling very sad that it's all over. I know, I know...I said I was DONE being pregnant and ready for him to be here! But looking back, I had an amazingly easy pregnancy. Yes, there was the complete exhaustion in the first trimester, the horrific round ligament pain, the few trips to L&D triage to get fluids, and of course constant need to go to the bathroom. But other than that...so easy.
While delivering, everyone kept saying I was a natural. My body went into labor naturally (water breaking), I was a natural pusher. Ironically, after all we've been through, it's like my body was made for pregnancy and birth. Hard to wrap my once-infertile brain around that.
So in hopes I can finally get this out and move on from these nostalgic, weepy feelings I'm writing the birth story. The best way I can describe my sadness of it being over is the way I feel after major things: like my wedding, or returning from an awesome vacation, or CHRISTMAS (we all know how weepy I get after Christmas)! Just need some time to move on from those awesome experiences that will never happen just that way again.
I wrote about Colt's birth story, you can read it by clicking here. How different our experiences have been in bringing home our children! But I wouldn't have it any other way, and I'm humbled that I was able to experience both births in such a magnificent way. God is SO good and SO amazing.
Just a warning: some things are probably TMI (too much information) for you. If you're my grandparents or family in general, you might want to proceed with caution. I share because I appreciate others who share details and maybe my experience can help better prepare others. But, I don't want to censor too much...
----------------
At about 36 weeks, I declared I was done. My ankles/feet/legs were SO swollen I could hardly fit into my slip on shoes. My ankles practically touched the ground. I was in full-on waddle mode. My wedding ring didn't fit. Few of my maternity shirts fit and the ones that did were gigantic and made me feel even more uncomfortable. To adjust a few inches in bed at night took tremendous effort. I was DONE.
At my 36-week check-up I was dilated to a 2 and 90% effaced. We still hadn't finished the nursery, or had my baby shower, or even gone through any of Colt's hand-me-downs. I hadn't made a list or packed a bag. So naturally, I assumed the BABY IS COMING TOMORROW. I went to Target and bought newborn diapers and bottles and a coming home outfit, and pajamas for the hospital. I got my mom to come over in the next few days to help sort and wash clothes. I packed what I could in my bag and made a list for last-minute items. And then I had my amazingly huge baby shower where I received EVERYTHING else I needed or wanted for Owen.
At my 37-week check-up I was dilated to a 2 and almost fully effaced. Frustrating, BUT John had made major progress on the nursery and I still had my bag packed. Mom came over and helped hang and fold clean clothes. That Saturday was February 13th, when most of America was flooding restaurants for Valentine's Day celebrations. John woke up that morning and wanted me to text our babysitter to see if she could come over and stay with Colt so we could go out. Let me repeat: he wanted me to ask our babysitter if she would come over in the next 8 hours on what essentially was Valentine's Day. I laughed and said there was no way but texted her anyway.
She was available at 7:30!! I couldn't believe it! One of the best babysitters at our church and she was available during dinner time. She rushed over, even though Colt was already in bed. And she allowed John and I to go out to eat for what we both assumed would be our final night out alone before the baby came. We ate at Texas Roadhouse and then walked to Starbucks and sipped hot drinks in the corner while making fun of dating couples who were fighting, teenage girls and their fashion, and making up stories about people we figured were on first dates. It was awesome. We kissed a lot that night, John was very attentive and hugged me a lot. You just kind of lose that feeling for a while with a toddler and an exhausted pregnant wife that goes to bed early every night. So I felt wonderfully spoiled, loved, and beautiful.
On Sunday John's parents came over to bring Colt his Valentine's gifts. Before they arrived I did a last-minute pick-up in Owen's room and finally got it "FINISHED". I went to bed that night feeling fine.
Around 2:30am I woke up to go to the bathroom. And I was soaking wet. I know it sounds crazy, but I've heard so many people say they weren't sure if there water broke or if they just peed a little or if they were sweating and I always thought that was ridiculous. How do you NOT know your water broke? Well, those thoughts were swimming in my head. So I changed and laid back down. 30 minutes later I got up to see if any more wetness would occur...and sure enough the gushing started. I woke John up, and I called my mom to come over for Colt.
It was happening! That middle of the night "Honey, it's time" experience was happening to me! No check-in time, no planning, no final goodbyes. Just a call to my mom to come over and we were off. I knew they wouldn't send me home since my water had broken...this was IT.
As we were driving the short distance to the hospital, I mentioned how glad I was it happened like this. I didn't have any contractions at that point, so I hadn't spent hours being uncomfortable or counting minutes. Also, I hadn't spent a weepy evening with Colt thinking "this is my last night with you as my only" that I would have had a c-section or induction been scheduled. I was SO, SO grateful for that. He was fast asleep, none the wiser, and when we'd put him down we'd assumed we'd see him in the morning.
Once we got checked in (after determining my water HAD broken and none of the other mortifying things like just complete loss of bladder control or heavy nether-region sweating was going on), they started me on pitocin to get my non-existent contractions going. This was about 6:00am by the time we were left alone and the medicine began.
Around 6:30 a woman stuck her head in the door and asked if it was ok that a student nurse shadow my main nurse that day. After determining it was only one (instead of a room full) we agreed. Remember this...it becomes important.
Close to 8:00 my mom and stepdad arrived. At this point, I was feeling a few contractions, but there was no pain involved at all. My new nurse Amy had started and John and I were so happy because she was AWESOME. Totally up John's alley and she gave him a run for his money. We also met our student nurse. I don't even remember her name. Amy told me to let her know when I wanted my epidural.
Well, I didn't want to start it until there was reason to. Meaning discomfort. Plus, I'd heard sometimes it can slow your labor down and I wanted to be checked first. Amy checked me and I was at a 2 STILL and not very effaced. WHAT? My doctor had been telling me for 2 weeks that I was almost totally effaced. Apparently not so...still not sure which one was wrong. Anyway, I didn't want to get it started at just a 2, and I was still having no pain.
Then Amy casually mentioned that the anethstesiologist was booked in a c-section from 8 - 9 and that hour would be closed for epidurals. No problem, it was 7:45 and I was fine. Amy left and I began gabbing with my family.
By 8:05 the contractions began to get very uncomfortable. It happened that fast. By 8:15 I was telling John to call and make sure the anethstesiologist would come to my room immediately post surgery. He made the call...I was number 3 on the list. So for the next 2 hours I writhed in pain. Squeezing the life out of John's hand, begging him to tell me when the contractions were going down. He kept telling me I was doing so good and I said "don't tell me I'm doing good, I'm not doing good!".
One thing I thought was so interesting that no one really tells you is that your water doesn't just break and it's over. No, it continues to leak. The baby's head is like a cork, so each time you or the baby changes position, more water comes out. So this whole time I'm writhing in pain, I'm also being flooded with water and that's just uncomfortable. I'll be honest, it's not fun to sit in a wet bed. Amy wouldn't let me stand and walk around because of the water (once you start losing it, there's more chance for the cord to wrap around baby's neck). It was awful.
About 9:45, as I was crying to John "if the doctor isn't coming then just tell me! I just need to know if he's coming and it's fine if he's not but just tell me", Student Nurse came in. She asked how I was doing and I said "not well".
Then she gets right up in my face and says "what's wrong? are you in pain?"
Well, at this point I'm about to lose it. "Yes, lots of pain" I politely, painfully respond. She then proceeds to stand next to me and PAT MY ARM. Pat my arm. Like I'm so sweet and silly and a little pat will make it better. I look over at John with wide eyes and give him a look like "get her the heck out of here"! My mom, stepdad and mother-in-law were all in the room as well, and they were all thinking the same thing.
Before John could ask her to leave and before I could scream at her to leave, the angels descended and brought forth my Savior in the form of the anethstesiologist. I swore I wouldn't forget his name, but 2 weeks later I already have. He babbled something about risks and I nodded and signed and begged for mercy. Contractions were about a minute and a half apart lasting 45 seconds each time.
The procedure was horrible for me, but not the actual needle in the back. No, the sitting up, rolling in a ball while contractions were happening were the worst. It was horrible and I just wanted him to be done. He actually did me a great favor because he decided to quiz Student Nurse on epidural procedures and treatment and she had no freaking clue. At the time, I was annoyed because I thought it was taking longer than it should have but in hindsight it was great to see her get put in her place.
Other really bad part was that the whole time I was gushing water. Everywhere, all over the floor. I kept apologizing because it was getting on Amy's shoes and John was right in front of me, letting me lean on him and I kept thinking he would be grossed out by it getting everywhere. Amy just threw a towel down and said no problem, John didn't even notice much (so he says).
The epidural had one shot that felt like a bee sting (but didn't even hurt as much as drawing blood) and then I couldn't feel anything. Once it was over, almost immediately my lower-half started feeling like warm velvet. It was the most amazing feeling ever. EVER. And just like that, I was back to gabbing and joking with friends and family in the room.
After an hour, Amy checked me again. It's now 11:00 and I've been having contractions for hours. I was at a 3. A THREE! She asked if I could feel her down there and since I couldn't she did something and pronounced "now you're at a 4". Like I said, she was awesome. (I'll pause here to say that all friends and family except John left the room each time I was checked or exposed...just in case you were wondering I did not share my lady parts with everyone).
An hour later, Amy did the same thing as before and pronounced me a 5. She also said she predicted I wouldn't deliver until 8p that night. I was a little discouraged.
An hour after that, I surprised everyone by dilating to 7.5cm! I was moving way faster at this point. Not long after that, another nurse came in and mentioned the baby wasn't tolerating my position very well and she made me lay down (instead of sitting up) and gave me oxygen. Hello nervous!!
Within 30 minutes Amy came in to check and I was now ready to push. It was 4:15p. I couldn't feel pain, but was starting to feel pressure, and she told me to start pushing when she told me to. After my first push she announced I was an "amazing pusher" and that it would go fast. A few more practice pushes and she called in the army.
Soon my room was full of 7 people scrubbed up and ready to go. I pushed until about 4:40 and they called my doctor. He came from his office in the building next door and after 3 pushes with him, Owen's head was out. John watched the whole thing, which I love. I love that he was interested and excited and wanted to see it unfold. Soon the shoulders were out and I had a tiny baby on my chest. It was 4:50 at that moment (even though the birth certificate says 5:20 we know it was 4:50).
He weighed 6 pounds, 13 ounces, and was 20 inches long. He scored an 8 and 9 on his Apgar scores. He was perfect. I did have a tear (up until the second shoulder came out I'd been fine) and my doc stitched me up and said congrats and headed back to his last patient of the day. He'd been there less than 15 minutes! But Amy stayed with us and she was amazing.
After having so many people there and all this equipment, suddenly we were all alone. It was amazing. Owen was perfect.
The next few hours were all our friends and family coming in to see this new little boy. At one point a nurse tried to get me to go to the bathroom, and I passed out and required a wheelchair to get from the bathroom back to bed! The combination of heavy drugs (for the searing, burning pain caused by my stitches), loss of blood, and no food for over 24 hours didn't work well for me. At that point, everyone left and they transferred us to a new room. Again, I tried to get up to go to the bathroom and passed out cold on the floor before making it there. They took Owen to the nursery for the night and I tried to get comfortable.
One thing we learned from our experience with Colt was that rooming-in makes going home very difficult. I had already decided not to nurse, so we were bottle feeding. And we remembered how exhausted we were after rooming-in with Colt on the first night (which we are so grateful we did, but just remember how tired it made us). So we asked for Owen to be taken care of in the nursery both nights we were in the hospital. It was such a great decision for us because we got great sleep both nights and set us up to be much more rested when we were home.
Tuesday came and went with lots of visitors and bad daytime TV as we loved on our boy. I was in lots and lots of discomfort and pain. My tailbone was so sore, my tear, and several other things caused by delivery just plain hurt. But I was in great spirits - especially when Colt came up to see us and meet Owen.
Wednesday morning we prepared to go home. I felt much better being up and around. We had a stalker photography lady come visit us over and over about ordering pictures (which we ended up doing online at home). We dressed Owen in his coming home outfit, which was gigantic on his tiny body. And they wheeled us out to our car and we headed home.
It's been quite a 2 weeks. I felt so crummy and gross until about Day 8 post-partum. FYI...worst days are not in the hospital, they are days 5-7! But I'm finally feeling like myself again.
Owen and I have had lots of wonderful cuddle days. He's very laid-back, quiet, sleepy, and easy-going. He's already gained almost a pound, so he's eating very well. We've been on just a few trips out to lunch, but I'm trying to avoid major crowds and lots of children for a while longer. He's a cuddlebug, and everytime I look at him I just fall in love all over again. He's delicate and his hair is so light and fine.
I am so very amazed at what my body did to bring him into this world. I always thought that was kind of cheesy when people said that, but I'm obsessed right now with pregnancy and birth because it is an awesome thing. I'm also amazed that Colt is already protective and loving and interested in his brother. We can already tell this was the best gift we could give him...these brothers are going to love growing up together! My heart swells with pride, and I simply could not ask for more.
If you've read this far...thanks for sticking with me! I love my story, and I'm glad the memories won't fade since I wrote it all out. God is good!
Since Owen was born, I find myself feeling very sad that it's all over. I know, I know...I said I was DONE being pregnant and ready for him to be here! But looking back, I had an amazingly easy pregnancy. Yes, there was the complete exhaustion in the first trimester, the horrific round ligament pain, the few trips to L&D triage to get fluids, and of course constant need to go to the bathroom. But other than that...so easy.
While delivering, everyone kept saying I was a natural. My body went into labor naturally (water breaking), I was a natural pusher. Ironically, after all we've been through, it's like my body was made for pregnancy and birth. Hard to wrap my once-infertile brain around that.
So in hopes I can finally get this out and move on from these nostalgic, weepy feelings I'm writing the birth story. The best way I can describe my sadness of it being over is the way I feel after major things: like my wedding, or returning from an awesome vacation, or CHRISTMAS (we all know how weepy I get after Christmas)! Just need some time to move on from those awesome experiences that will never happen just that way again.
I wrote about Colt's birth story, you can read it by clicking here. How different our experiences have been in bringing home our children! But I wouldn't have it any other way, and I'm humbled that I was able to experience both births in such a magnificent way. God is SO good and SO amazing.
Just a warning: some things are probably TMI (too much information) for you. If you're my grandparents or family in general, you might want to proceed with caution. I share because I appreciate others who share details and maybe my experience can help better prepare others. But, I don't want to censor too much...
----------------
At about 36 weeks, I declared I was done. My ankles/feet/legs were SO swollen I could hardly fit into my slip on shoes. My ankles practically touched the ground. I was in full-on waddle mode. My wedding ring didn't fit. Few of my maternity shirts fit and the ones that did were gigantic and made me feel even more uncomfortable. To adjust a few inches in bed at night took tremendous effort. I was DONE.
At my 36-week check-up I was dilated to a 2 and 90% effaced. We still hadn't finished the nursery, or had my baby shower, or even gone through any of Colt's hand-me-downs. I hadn't made a list or packed a bag. So naturally, I assumed the BABY IS COMING TOMORROW. I went to Target and bought newborn diapers and bottles and a coming home outfit, and pajamas for the hospital. I got my mom to come over in the next few days to help sort and wash clothes. I packed what I could in my bag and made a list for last-minute items. And then I had my amazingly huge baby shower where I received EVERYTHING else I needed or wanted for Owen.
At my 37-week check-up I was dilated to a 2 and almost fully effaced. Frustrating, BUT John had made major progress on the nursery and I still had my bag packed. Mom came over and helped hang and fold clean clothes. That Saturday was February 13th, when most of America was flooding restaurants for Valentine's Day celebrations. John woke up that morning and wanted me to text our babysitter to see if she could come over and stay with Colt so we could go out. Let me repeat: he wanted me to ask our babysitter if she would come over in the next 8 hours on what essentially was Valentine's Day. I laughed and said there was no way but texted her anyway.
She was available at 7:30!! I couldn't believe it! One of the best babysitters at our church and she was available during dinner time. She rushed over, even though Colt was already in bed. And she allowed John and I to go out to eat for what we both assumed would be our final night out alone before the baby came. We ate at Texas Roadhouse and then walked to Starbucks and sipped hot drinks in the corner while making fun of dating couples who were fighting, teenage girls and their fashion, and making up stories about people we figured were on first dates. It was awesome. We kissed a lot that night, John was very attentive and hugged me a lot. You just kind of lose that feeling for a while with a toddler and an exhausted pregnant wife that goes to bed early every night. So I felt wonderfully spoiled, loved, and beautiful.
On Sunday John's parents came over to bring Colt his Valentine's gifts. Before they arrived I did a last-minute pick-up in Owen's room and finally got it "FINISHED". I went to bed that night feeling fine.
Around 2:30am I woke up to go to the bathroom. And I was soaking wet. I know it sounds crazy, but I've heard so many people say they weren't sure if there water broke or if they just peed a little or if they were sweating and I always thought that was ridiculous. How do you NOT know your water broke? Well, those thoughts were swimming in my head. So I changed and laid back down. 30 minutes later I got up to see if any more wetness would occur...and sure enough the gushing started. I woke John up, and I called my mom to come over for Colt.
It was happening! That middle of the night "Honey, it's time" experience was happening to me! No check-in time, no planning, no final goodbyes. Just a call to my mom to come over and we were off. I knew they wouldn't send me home since my water had broken...this was IT.
As we were driving the short distance to the hospital, I mentioned how glad I was it happened like this. I didn't have any contractions at that point, so I hadn't spent hours being uncomfortable or counting minutes. Also, I hadn't spent a weepy evening with Colt thinking "this is my last night with you as my only" that I would have had a c-section or induction been scheduled. I was SO, SO grateful for that. He was fast asleep, none the wiser, and when we'd put him down we'd assumed we'd see him in the morning.
Once we got checked in (after determining my water HAD broken and none of the other mortifying things like just complete loss of bladder control or heavy nether-region sweating was going on), they started me on pitocin to get my non-existent contractions going. This was about 6:00am by the time we were left alone and the medicine began.
Around 6:30 a woman stuck her head in the door and asked if it was ok that a student nurse shadow my main nurse that day. After determining it was only one (instead of a room full) we agreed. Remember this...it becomes important.
Close to 8:00 my mom and stepdad arrived. At this point, I was feeling a few contractions, but there was no pain involved at all. My new nurse Amy had started and John and I were so happy because she was AWESOME. Totally up John's alley and she gave him a run for his money. We also met our student nurse. I don't even remember her name. Amy told me to let her know when I wanted my epidural.
Well, I didn't want to start it until there was reason to. Meaning discomfort. Plus, I'd heard sometimes it can slow your labor down and I wanted to be checked first. Amy checked me and I was at a 2 STILL and not very effaced. WHAT? My doctor had been telling me for 2 weeks that I was almost totally effaced. Apparently not so...still not sure which one was wrong. Anyway, I didn't want to get it started at just a 2, and I was still having no pain.
Then Amy casually mentioned that the anethstesiologist was booked in a c-section from 8 - 9 and that hour would be closed for epidurals. No problem, it was 7:45 and I was fine. Amy left and I began gabbing with my family.
By 8:05 the contractions began to get very uncomfortable. It happened that fast. By 8:15 I was telling John to call and make sure the anethstesiologist would come to my room immediately post surgery. He made the call...I was number 3 on the list. So for the next 2 hours I writhed in pain. Squeezing the life out of John's hand, begging him to tell me when the contractions were going down. He kept telling me I was doing so good and I said "don't tell me I'm doing good, I'm not doing good!".
One thing I thought was so interesting that no one really tells you is that your water doesn't just break and it's over. No, it continues to leak. The baby's head is like a cork, so each time you or the baby changes position, more water comes out. So this whole time I'm writhing in pain, I'm also being flooded with water and that's just uncomfortable. I'll be honest, it's not fun to sit in a wet bed. Amy wouldn't let me stand and walk around because of the water (once you start losing it, there's more chance for the cord to wrap around baby's neck). It was awful.
About 9:45, as I was crying to John "if the doctor isn't coming then just tell me! I just need to know if he's coming and it's fine if he's not but just tell me", Student Nurse came in. She asked how I was doing and I said "not well".
Then she gets right up in my face and says "what's wrong? are you in pain?"
Well, at this point I'm about to lose it. "Yes, lots of pain" I politely, painfully respond. She then proceeds to stand next to me and PAT MY ARM. Pat my arm. Like I'm so sweet and silly and a little pat will make it better. I look over at John with wide eyes and give him a look like "get her the heck out of here"! My mom, stepdad and mother-in-law were all in the room as well, and they were all thinking the same thing.
Before John could ask her to leave and before I could scream at her to leave, the angels descended and brought forth my Savior in the form of the anethstesiologist. I swore I wouldn't forget his name, but 2 weeks later I already have. He babbled something about risks and I nodded and signed and begged for mercy. Contractions were about a minute and a half apart lasting 45 seconds each time.
The procedure was horrible for me, but not the actual needle in the back. No, the sitting up, rolling in a ball while contractions were happening were the worst. It was horrible and I just wanted him to be done. He actually did me a great favor because he decided to quiz Student Nurse on epidural procedures and treatment and she had no freaking clue. At the time, I was annoyed because I thought it was taking longer than it should have but in hindsight it was great to see her get put in her place.
Other really bad part was that the whole time I was gushing water. Everywhere, all over the floor. I kept apologizing because it was getting on Amy's shoes and John was right in front of me, letting me lean on him and I kept thinking he would be grossed out by it getting everywhere. Amy just threw a towel down and said no problem, John didn't even notice much (so he says).
The epidural had one shot that felt like a bee sting (but didn't even hurt as much as drawing blood) and then I couldn't feel anything. Once it was over, almost immediately my lower-half started feeling like warm velvet. It was the most amazing feeling ever. EVER. And just like that, I was back to gabbing and joking with friends and family in the room.
After an hour, Amy checked me again. It's now 11:00 and I've been having contractions for hours. I was at a 3. A THREE! She asked if I could feel her down there and since I couldn't she did something and pronounced "now you're at a 4". Like I said, she was awesome. (I'll pause here to say that all friends and family except John left the room each time I was checked or exposed...just in case you were wondering I did not share my lady parts with everyone).
An hour later, Amy did the same thing as before and pronounced me a 5. She also said she predicted I wouldn't deliver until 8p that night. I was a little discouraged.
An hour after that, I surprised everyone by dilating to 7.5cm! I was moving way faster at this point. Not long after that, another nurse came in and mentioned the baby wasn't tolerating my position very well and she made me lay down (instead of sitting up) and gave me oxygen. Hello nervous!!
Within 30 minutes Amy came in to check and I was now ready to push. It was 4:15p. I couldn't feel pain, but was starting to feel pressure, and she told me to start pushing when she told me to. After my first push she announced I was an "amazing pusher" and that it would go fast. A few more practice pushes and she called in the army.
Soon my room was full of 7 people scrubbed up and ready to go. I pushed until about 4:40 and they called my doctor. He came from his office in the building next door and after 3 pushes with him, Owen's head was out. John watched the whole thing, which I love. I love that he was interested and excited and wanted to see it unfold. Soon the shoulders were out and I had a tiny baby on my chest. It was 4:50 at that moment (even though the birth certificate says 5:20 we know it was 4:50).
He weighed 6 pounds, 13 ounces, and was 20 inches long. He scored an 8 and 9 on his Apgar scores. He was perfect. I did have a tear (up until the second shoulder came out I'd been fine) and my doc stitched me up and said congrats and headed back to his last patient of the day. He'd been there less than 15 minutes! But Amy stayed with us and she was amazing.
After having so many people there and all this equipment, suddenly we were all alone. It was amazing. Owen was perfect.
The next few hours were all our friends and family coming in to see this new little boy. At one point a nurse tried to get me to go to the bathroom, and I passed out and required a wheelchair to get from the bathroom back to bed! The combination of heavy drugs (for the searing, burning pain caused by my stitches), loss of blood, and no food for over 24 hours didn't work well for me. At that point, everyone left and they transferred us to a new room. Again, I tried to get up to go to the bathroom and passed out cold on the floor before making it there. They took Owen to the nursery for the night and I tried to get comfortable.
One thing we learned from our experience with Colt was that rooming-in makes going home very difficult. I had already decided not to nurse, so we were bottle feeding. And we remembered how exhausted we were after rooming-in with Colt on the first night (which we are so grateful we did, but just remember how tired it made us). So we asked for Owen to be taken care of in the nursery both nights we were in the hospital. It was such a great decision for us because we got great sleep both nights and set us up to be much more rested when we were home.
Tuesday came and went with lots of visitors and bad daytime TV as we loved on our boy. I was in lots and lots of discomfort and pain. My tailbone was so sore, my tear, and several other things caused by delivery just plain hurt. But I was in great spirits - especially when Colt came up to see us and meet Owen.
Wednesday morning we prepared to go home. I felt much better being up and around. We had a stalker photography lady come visit us over and over about ordering pictures (which we ended up doing online at home). We dressed Owen in his coming home outfit, which was gigantic on his tiny body. And they wheeled us out to our car and we headed home.
It's been quite a 2 weeks. I felt so crummy and gross until about Day 8 post-partum. FYI...worst days are not in the hospital, they are days 5-7! But I'm finally feeling like myself again.
Owen and I have had lots of wonderful cuddle days. He's very laid-back, quiet, sleepy, and easy-going. He's already gained almost a pound, so he's eating very well. We've been on just a few trips out to lunch, but I'm trying to avoid major crowds and lots of children for a while longer. He's a cuddlebug, and everytime I look at him I just fall in love all over again. He's delicate and his hair is so light and fine.
I am so very amazed at what my body did to bring him into this world. I always thought that was kind of cheesy when people said that, but I'm obsessed right now with pregnancy and birth because it is an awesome thing. I'm also amazed that Colt is already protective and loving and interested in his brother. We can already tell this was the best gift we could give him...these brothers are going to love growing up together! My heart swells with pride, and I simply could not ask for more.
If you've read this far...thanks for sticking with me! I love my story, and I'm glad the memories won't fade since I wrote it all out. God is good!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Emotional Rollercoaster
I have been working on this post over the last three days. Today I feel one thousand times better, I haven't even had the urge to cry! But I felt like I wanted to post this anyway, since it was important enough for me to spend days putting in writing!
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This post is full of pregnancy hormone-related emotional activity. Don't say you weren't warned! And if you're going to roll your eyes just do it behind my back because it will probably make me cry otherwise!
When Colt was born, there was so much fanfare around him. Rightfully so! He was our first, we'd been down such a hard path to get to that point, we'd waited for so long, we were all on pins and needles not knowing if we would get to keep him. We'd had 4 showers for him, educated so many people on birthmothers and adoption and waiting, we'd bought the best of the best for him, decorated his nursery with vigor.
And yet, once we had him home and our family and friends had loved on him, John went back to work. And I was on maternity leave. And I remember feeling like it was a very lonely existence. I remember thinking very early on that I wanted to go back to work because at least there I knew what to expect, and I wouldn't feel so lonely. That feeling passed pretty quickly and by the time I DID go back to work I cried for weeks leading up to it because I was not, in fact, ready.
So this time around, I knew there were certain things I HAD to do to avoid that feeling, or at least minimize the amount of time I felt it. I had to shower IN THE MORNING every day, fix my hair and do makeup EVERY DAY, and wear clothes (not sweats) like I was going out EVERY DAY. At the same time, I needed to remember that my job during this time is to bond and love on and care for my baby. If the laundry didn't get done or the kitchen didn't get cleaned or we slept on the same sheets for weeks...that was ok. If I spent the day cuddled in the chair with my son watching TV and taking naps, that was OK because that's what I needed to be doing. But in the meantime, the blinds needed to be open each day, the overhead lights on, and I need to get out, even if it's just a walk or trip to the grocery store, as often as possible.
Well, John went back to work yesterday. I knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. It was even more difficult because yesterday was the first day since Owen was born that I felt GOOD. That I felt like myself, physically I had very little pain. We'd slept well, and the sunshine was out and abundant. And all those things, naturally, caused me to cry ALL DAY LONG. It was the first day I really wanted to get out.
The whole time John had been home, I felt so crummy. Which, thankfully he WAS here during that time because I NEEDED him. Yesterday, I just really WANTED him.
To top it all off, I've been feeling incredibly guilty since the day Owen was born that I didn't enjoy this experience or look forward to his birthday as much as I had with Colt. And once it was all over, I was sad. I realized how amazing this gift of pregnancy and birth really was, no matter how uncomfortable or crummy I'd felt along the way. I also felt bad because, as most second children know, there isn't quite the fanfare leading up to the birth. Everyone is excited, of course! But it's just different. So I've spent time feeling guilty. Wishing we would have spent more time planning and getting excited. I just didn't realize how amazing it would feel once he was here, and how much I would love having TWO sons!
I know a lot of this is just post-partum hormones and emotions. But I sure am ready to be over it. I am LOVING this baby, I am enjoying every second (between the hours of 6 am and 9pm...otherwise it's hard to "enjoy"!). He is so beautiful and special and cuddly and his personality is already beginning to sparkle. Colt is doing so well with him, and Colt is finally starting to hug on me again. It's just an awesome time in our lives and I'm ready to feel like myself physically and emotionally.
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This post is full of pregnancy hormone-related emotional activity. Don't say you weren't warned! And if you're going to roll your eyes just do it behind my back because it will probably make me cry otherwise!
When Colt was born, there was so much fanfare around him. Rightfully so! He was our first, we'd been down such a hard path to get to that point, we'd waited for so long, we were all on pins and needles not knowing if we would get to keep him. We'd had 4 showers for him, educated so many people on birthmothers and adoption and waiting, we'd bought the best of the best for him, decorated his nursery with vigor.
And yet, once we had him home and our family and friends had loved on him, John went back to work. And I was on maternity leave. And I remember feeling like it was a very lonely existence. I remember thinking very early on that I wanted to go back to work because at least there I knew what to expect, and I wouldn't feel so lonely. That feeling passed pretty quickly and by the time I DID go back to work I cried for weeks leading up to it because I was not, in fact, ready.
So this time around, I knew there were certain things I HAD to do to avoid that feeling, or at least minimize the amount of time I felt it. I had to shower IN THE MORNING every day, fix my hair and do makeup EVERY DAY, and wear clothes (not sweats) like I was going out EVERY DAY. At the same time, I needed to remember that my job during this time is to bond and love on and care for my baby. If the laundry didn't get done or the kitchen didn't get cleaned or we slept on the same sheets for weeks...that was ok. If I spent the day cuddled in the chair with my son watching TV and taking naps, that was OK because that's what I needed to be doing. But in the meantime, the blinds needed to be open each day, the overhead lights on, and I need to get out, even if it's just a walk or trip to the grocery store, as often as possible.
Well, John went back to work yesterday. I knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. It was even more difficult because yesterday was the first day since Owen was born that I felt GOOD. That I felt like myself, physically I had very little pain. We'd slept well, and the sunshine was out and abundant. And all those things, naturally, caused me to cry ALL DAY LONG. It was the first day I really wanted to get out.
The whole time John had been home, I felt so crummy. Which, thankfully he WAS here during that time because I NEEDED him. Yesterday, I just really WANTED him.
To top it all off, I've been feeling incredibly guilty since the day Owen was born that I didn't enjoy this experience or look forward to his birthday as much as I had with Colt. And once it was all over, I was sad. I realized how amazing this gift of pregnancy and birth really was, no matter how uncomfortable or crummy I'd felt along the way. I also felt bad because, as most second children know, there isn't quite the fanfare leading up to the birth. Everyone is excited, of course! But it's just different. So I've spent time feeling guilty. Wishing we would have spent more time planning and getting excited. I just didn't realize how amazing it would feel once he was here, and how much I would love having TWO sons!
I know a lot of this is just post-partum hormones and emotions. But I sure am ready to be over it. I am LOVING this baby, I am enjoying every second (between the hours of 6 am and 9pm...otherwise it's hard to "enjoy"!). He is so beautiful and special and cuddly and his personality is already beginning to sparkle. Colt is doing so well with him, and Colt is finally starting to hug on me again. It's just an awesome time in our lives and I'm ready to feel like myself physically and emotionally.
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