Thursday, November 27, 2008

I am thankful

Though never worthy, I am blessed. I am blessed that I can't even count or name all the blessings in my life. But I can try, as this day also signifies the last Thusday, the last Thanksgiving, the last week as a family of 2. Awfully reflective, if you can imagine.

I'm thankful for traveling the country:
-for sinking my feet in sandy beaches on both coasts and on the most beautiful island I've ever seen
-for the chance to explore the mountains of Canada
-the coolness of the Alaskan rain forest
-eating delicious food in Savannah
-writing my son's name in the sand of South Carolina
-being rocked to sleep by the Pacific Ocean
-napping on my grandparent's couch

I'm thankful for my family:
-with whom I travel the country with
-with whom we can call up for last-minute dinners
-that pick me up from the airport
-that go to concerts with me
-that believe in God and attend church each week with us
-that listen and hug and cry when I'm in pain
-that buy us amazing things to support our growing family

I'm thankful for my friends:
-that listen to us drag on and on about our frustrations and still stick around for more
-that spend hours in my favorite coffee shop talking about life
-that bond over similar experiences
-that believe in me
-that share in hope
-that pray for me when I can't pray anymore
-that make me laugh until I cry
-that throw showers meant for someone far more deserving than I really am
-that love us as close to unconditionally as possible

I'm thankful for my husband. My wonderful, caring husband:
-for listening to me talk football and not think I'm stupid
-for rubbing my head when I have migraines
-for not calling me a hypochondriac
-who holds my hand each week when I give myself a shot
-that runs to the store for Kleenex and milk and toilet paper
-that tells me I look beautiful before church on Sundays
-that takes me to get donuts even though he can't eat them
-who tucks me into bed every night, whether we're angry or not
-who cries with me in good times and in bad
-who writes beautiful essays about our readiness as parents
-who surprises me with a nursery
-who buys a dream vacuum in a vacuum emergency
-who takes care of our bills so I don't have to worry
-who jumped head first into our journey to find our baby
-who prays for our baby, our family, and our troops overseas

I'm thankful for a brave young woman:
-who tried for love and didn't get it
-found herself a new love instead
-who knew that her new love needed more
-who knew SHE needed more
-who trusted in an amazing adoption agency
-and fell in love with two strangers
-who chose life for her love instead of an easy way out
-who suffers physically and emotionally in school each day for the one she loves
-who will go through unbearable pain to give her child life
-who will go on to accomplish her dreams
-and who will watch from afar as two strangers accomplish their dream
-who will watch her heart grow and grow and live and learn and love all from the outside
-who is trusting us to make this happen

I'm thankful for a little heartbeat that isn't even in the world yet:
-for staying strong
-for growing up healthily
-who will soon learn to trust two strangers
-who will one day meet his creator and understand the love she has for him

I'm thankful that next Thanksgiving we'll be a family of 3 dropping in on the rest of our growing families.

I'm thankful that I have trust in my God who provides far more than I deserve, who takes care of me, who trusts me to handle as much as I can handle.

I'm very, very thankful today. Still a little nervous, but thankful we've come this far and that hope will live matter what happens.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Dana said...

That was beautiful, Jessica. Thank you for sharing so much with us.

evawebdiva said...

Jessica....I don't know you except for what I have read and I just have to share with you this... You're an amazingly kind wonderful warm-hearted person with awesome insight into what life is really about despite the fact that you are so young. If anyone deserves to be a mom it is you and your son will become an even better person because of that (and John, too). God bless...Eva

Cheryl said...

I'm crying. That was beautiful. It is so important to rememeber all the things we are thankful for. You are truly blessed. Thank you for helping us all realize the good things in life!