The Weekend

I'll try not to talk too much more about Max. I'm sure you all are ready for fun Jessica to come back and talk about her boring life!

This weekend was so very hard. I still have no doubt that I made the right decision, but the right decision is not always the easy decision. And it doesn't erase the emptiness and the guilt and the sadness you feel. I can't help it....it's one of those things that only time and God can make better. I've had several good cries this weekend, and it's helped relieve some of that emotion.

John's been wonderful--canceling golf and other plans to make sure he's home with me. One thing is that I'm not comfortable being home by myself yet...it just makes my mind go crazy with sadness and I keep hearing things and thinking it's Max. So, John's been wonderful about staying with me, letting me cry, letting me say silly things just to get them out....even though he doesn't understand all my feelings, he's been very supportive.

My friends and family have been wonderful, too. My mom and sister have both spent time with me and offered more words of encouragement and comfort than anyone could imagine. I have several friends who dropped everything this weekend to have "cheer-up" get togethers with me and made sure I stayed busy rather than crying at home (thanks Liz, Brooke, Melissa), several friends that called and e-mailed (thanks Laura, Audrey, and Ann). My mother-in-law Nina has said some wonderful things and made me feel much better. It's all been so great to have everyone do that--especially over "just a cat" (although we all know it's always more than just a cat).

I miss Max so much....but it will get better. John keeps telling me with time the sadness and the thoughts over what happened at the vet will be gone and I will only remember happy things. I hope so. Max taught me a lot, and I think he knows he was loved. That's not a bad life, right? I did my best to give him the best....not a bad way to go. Plenty of food, warm blankets, hugs and kisses, lots of love, and someone to miss you when you're gone. We should all be so lucky.

Here's to Max...