Happy Birthday Colt!

Dear Colt,

It's here! You're officially one year old! I have been spending a lot of time thinking back and reading blog posts from December of 2008. Wow! First of all, I was a much better writer at that time! But most of what stands out to me is the depth of my love and excitement for you before I even really knew you. To think of how that has grown in the last 12 months is astounding. The human heart is capable of some profound things.

Most moms talk about how they can't believe how fast the time goes, and it's so true. I feel like at least in this first year, I have appreciated every little milestone. I know as things get busier and you get older time will pass and I won't have as much recollection. But I have celebrated every tooth, every smile, every clap, every crawl, every doctor appointment, every new food...I'm living a dream come true every day.

I find no greater joy than in figuring you out. Knowing that singing "The Wheels on the Bus" while changing you each morning keeps you calm during this ritual you detest. Knowing that when I sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" you will twist your hands like I do for the spider. Knowing that you really want to eat with your hands and are so past the baby food. Watching you as you know exactly where to go to find a change basket or the faucets to turn on in the bathroom. Watching you light up and chase after your beloved kitty. Listening to you squeal with joy when Mickey Mouse comes on the TV. Seeing you watch Daddy swing a golf club and already share in his passion (or maybe it's just that anything Daddy does, you love). Even knowing that when Grandma is around, I may as well not exist excites me to the depths of my soul. I am so blessed and honored to be the one that knows these things.

You have completed me in a way I didn't know needed completion. Yes, I felt empty arms without a baby for many years, but THIS completion and utter joy is something I didn't know needed to be filled. You have filled me with patience. You have extracted me from things like the computer and TV and lazy Saturdays because I'd rather be spending that time with you (or sleeping to recover!). You've caused me to reevaluate my priorities and my definition of success. You've made me a mom and a better person.

I love you SO much, my little 1-year-old. You have fulfilled my every dream. You're a living, breathing, constant, every day example of answered prayer. Please know that my arms are always open, my shaky voice always willing to warble a song, and my ears are always listening for your voice.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy