I wasn't dreaming of THIS white of a Christmas

Wow, I am a mess of emotions tonight. I get this way about Christmas every year. It's just you lead up to this day and have so much family and food and blessings around and then BOOM!, it's over.

This year was really hard for many reasons. Work has been super stressful and I didn't think I'd get the time off I'd hoped for. I put off shopping until last week. We never put ornaments or even garland on the tree because I was too tired. Colt has been sick with a cold. And then...the big one I wasn't expecting: a blizzard.

See, in Oklahoma we rarely get snow and have only had a white Christmas like 12 times in a 100 years. We just don't see very much here. Cautiously for the last week, there had been predictions of a snowstorm on Christmas Eve. But no one, even the weathermen, had any idea what was to happen.

In Oklahoma City between 9:00 a.m. and 9:00 p.m. Christmas Eve we got over 14 inches of snow. We literally had a Blizzard, complete with whiteout conditions. And before the snow started, we had hours of sleet and freezing rain which coated the roads in at least an inch of ice. We have snow drifts over 4 feet IN OUR FRONT YARD.

My family is in town staying at my mom's and I was determined to get over and see them, let them see Colt, and spend Christmas Eve with them so John and I set out in early afternoon. It was a white-knuckled drive and there were several times we almost got stuck. And once we arrived at my mom's, there was no leaving. Especially with a one-year-old and a pregnant wife, John wasn't going anywhere.

We didn't intend to stay there though. John is a pretty brave driver and probably would have braved the roads home. But my sister called and said she was stuck in the middle of an intersection and he and my stepdad headed out to help her. While helping her, John blew out his knee (he's had three knee surgeries, involving both knees...they're bad) and they had to leave her car in the intersection and just concentrate on getting everyone home.

So, John was laid up and the roads were so bad we couldn't even get across town to get home. So, we stayed the night at my mom's house. All 3 of us, my sister, aunt, stepdad, mom, and grandparents. It was a super tight squeeze...and Colt wasn't feeling well and had a hard time sleeping. He finally ended up getting 6 hours of sleep. John and I got about 2 hours each.

And the whole time I'm just mad and irritated and worried about the stupid weather and John's knee. Instead of being excited for a white Christmas, instead of counting my blessings that we were ALL safe and warm and under one roof, instead of enjoying my yummy dinner...I was irritated. Instead of being thrilled for extra time with my beloved grandparents and aunt...well, you get the picture. We were snowed in and I was worried about wearing the same clothes and not having our stuff and our beds.

The morning was better...I woke up with a better attitude and just grateful that we weren't one of hundreds stranded in their cars, at the airport, or in shelters. We were safe. We enjoyed breakfast and presents and lunch. And then my brother-in-law came over to take us to John's family's house for even more Christmas festivities.

And now, we're home and I feel like I wasted such an amazing Christmas. I really loved it. I did! And I was SO grateful that we were there, instead of stuck at home without family. And now I'm oh-so-sad that it's all over.

As Colt and I settled in to watch yet another viewing of "Mickey Saves Santa" on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I cried and cried. It's our last Christmas with just Colt. And every year I worry it's my last Christmas with my grandparents making the trip and that the next year they'll stay in Missouri instead of coming here.

Things I DO want to remember:
-How Colt played with my aunt Linda and she had so much fun teaching him how to play with his new leapfrog and Mickey toys.
-How we all started watching "A Christmas Story" last night when it first came on and kept watching it throughout the day...as always.
-All the cooking my grandma did.
-How Colt lights up when he sees my mom and doesn't want anyone but her.
-Laughing with John through the sleepless night.
-How Colt wanted to open all his Aunt Renee's presents for her.
-The way his Uncle Matt plays with him and has great patience for him.
-The whole season, watching Colt's face as he saw Christmas lights and trees.
-How he played with my mom's Hallmark singing snowmen and pressed their buttons over and over to hear Jingle Bells one more time.

I regret that I didn't enjoy it more at the time. But it will go down as one of the most memorable Christmases I've ever had and gave me precious time with my family. Blizzard 2009...you can't get me down!

Now off to get some sleep and hopefully wake up over my post-Christmas depression. Pictures (what few I took) coming soon!

Merry Christmas to you all!!

It's Christmas Eve - so let's talk about Colt's birthday!

I'm watching winter weather storm updates at 5 am here on Christmas Eve. We're supposed to get snow, but first ice and I'm all kinds of irritated. Snow is one thing...but I want to be able to drive in it and ice puts a damper on that!

Here is that long-awaited birthday update. I don't have to explain the pics...you can probably decipher them yourselves! But I will say the picture of John and Faith (our cat) asleep is after the BIG Mickey Mouse Clubhouse party with close friends and family...we were EXHAUSTED.

Also, John made the cake. Yes, MADE.THE.CAKE. Decorated it and all...he's very talented! The top 4 pics are from his actual birthday day at school, where he had a cupcake party with his little friends.

Also, he hated the spreading cake all over himself. He started out getting made because we stripped him. Then the paparazzi came and started taking a million flashing photos, then the thick icing was caked in his fingers and he lost it. It also could have been the severe upper respiratory infection and croup he came down with mere hours later...but at least during MOST of the party he had a complete and total blast.

What a great day!

The first moment in my arms

Indulge me...only 2 hours left of his first birthday, I'm doing a lot of reminiscing. This isn't the first moment I saw him, though. We'd snuck a peek at him in the nursery, a moment I'll remember every detail of for as long as I live. A few minutes later we went into N's room, and she formally introduced us to our son. She handed him to me...and here is that moment forever captured in time.

I am so, so blessed.

Happy Birthday Colt!

Dear Colt,

It's here! You're officially one year old! I have been spending a lot of time thinking back and reading blog posts from December of 2008. Wow! First of all, I was a much better writer at that time! But most of what stands out to me is the depth of my love and excitement for you before I even really knew you. To think of how that has grown in the last 12 months is astounding. The human heart is capable of some profound things.

Most moms talk about how they can't believe how fast the time goes, and it's so true. I feel like at least in this first year, I have appreciated every little milestone. I know as things get busier and you get older time will pass and I won't have as much recollection. But I have celebrated every tooth, every smile, every clap, every crawl, every doctor appointment, every new food...I'm living a dream come true every day.

I find no greater joy than in figuring you out. Knowing that singing "The Wheels on the Bus" while changing you each morning keeps you calm during this ritual you detest. Knowing that when I sing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" you will twist your hands like I do for the spider. Knowing that you really want to eat with your hands and are so past the baby food. Watching you as you know exactly where to go to find a change basket or the faucets to turn on in the bathroom. Watching you light up and chase after your beloved kitty. Listening to you squeal with joy when Mickey Mouse comes on the TV. Seeing you watch Daddy swing a golf club and already share in his passion (or maybe it's just that anything Daddy does, you love). Even knowing that when Grandma is around, I may as well not exist excites me to the depths of my soul. I am so blessed and honored to be the one that knows these things.

You have completed me in a way I didn't know needed completion. Yes, I felt empty arms without a baby for many years, but THIS completion and utter joy is something I didn't know needed to be filled. You have filled me with patience. You have extracted me from things like the computer and TV and lazy Saturdays because I'd rather be spending that time with you (or sleeping to recover!). You've caused me to reevaluate my priorities and my definition of success. You've made me a mom and a better person.

I love you SO much, my little 1-year-old. You have fulfilled my every dream. You're a living, breathing, constant, every day example of answered prayer. Please know that my arms are always open, my shaky voice always willing to warble a song, and my ears are always listening for your voice.

Happy Birthday!

Love,
Mommy

Colt's first Christmas program.

Hi Everyone. This is John. Jess gave me her login and PW so I could post a video of Colt in his first Christmas program! Enjoy!