I am thankful

Though never worthy, I am blessed. I am blessed that I can't even count or name all the blessings in my life. But I can try, as this day also signifies the last Thusday, the last Thanksgiving, the last week as a family of 2. Awfully reflective, if you can imagine.

I'm thankful for traveling the country:
-for sinking my feet in sandy beaches on both coasts and on the most beautiful island I've ever seen
-for the chance to explore the mountains of Canada
-the coolness of the Alaskan rain forest
-eating delicious food in Savannah
-writing my son's name in the sand of South Carolina
-being rocked to sleep by the Pacific Ocean
-napping on my grandparent's couch

I'm thankful for my family:
-with whom I travel the country with
-with whom we can call up for last-minute dinners
-that pick me up from the airport
-that go to concerts with me
-that believe in God and attend church each week with us
-that listen and hug and cry when I'm in pain
-that buy us amazing things to support our growing family

I'm thankful for my friends:
-that listen to us drag on and on about our frustrations and still stick around for more
-that spend hours in my favorite coffee shop talking about life
-that bond over similar experiences
-that believe in me
-that share in hope
-that pray for me when I can't pray anymore
-that make me laugh until I cry
-that throw showers meant for someone far more deserving than I really am
-that love us as close to unconditionally as possible

I'm thankful for my husband. My wonderful, caring husband:
-for listening to me talk football and not think I'm stupid
-for rubbing my head when I have migraines
-for not calling me a hypochondriac
-who holds my hand each week when I give myself a shot
-that runs to the store for Kleenex and milk and toilet paper
-that tells me I look beautiful before church on Sundays
-that takes me to get donuts even though he can't eat them
-who tucks me into bed every night, whether we're angry or not
-who cries with me in good times and in bad
-who writes beautiful essays about our readiness as parents
-who surprises me with a nursery
-who buys a dream vacuum in a vacuum emergency
-who takes care of our bills so I don't have to worry
-who jumped head first into our journey to find our baby
-who prays for our baby, our family, and our troops overseas

I'm thankful for a brave young woman:
-who tried for love and didn't get it
-found herself a new love instead
-who knew that her new love needed more
-who knew SHE needed more
-who trusted in an amazing adoption agency
-and fell in love with two strangers
-who chose life for her love instead of an easy way out
-who suffers physically and emotionally in school each day for the one she loves
-who will go through unbearable pain to give her child life
-who will go on to accomplish her dreams
-and who will watch from afar as two strangers accomplish their dream
-who will watch her heart grow and grow and live and learn and love all from the outside
-who is trusting us to make this happen

I'm thankful for a little heartbeat that isn't even in the world yet:
-for staying strong
-for growing up healthily
-who will soon learn to trust two strangers
-who will one day meet his creator and understand the love she has for him

I'm thankful that next Thanksgiving we'll be a family of 3 dropping in on the rest of our growing families.

I'm thankful that I have trust in my God who provides far more than I deserve, who takes care of me, who trusts me to handle as much as I can handle.

I'm very, very thankful today. Still a little nervous, but thankful we've come this far and that hope will live on...no matter what happens.

Happy Thanksgiving!

ANNOYING!

Sorry for the serious lack of blogging. I could give you lots of excuses but I already did that on my other blog so no duplication. What I can blog about is a super annoying blog thing.

First of all, before I start, I apologize to anyone who reads this for sometimes asking you to link over to my other blog to read what I wrote instead of just writing here. My intention is to make this blog my main blog once the baby is born, I plan on retiring Here's to Hope once our journey is complete. Sometimes I know I share readers back and forth, and I don't want to repeat things...blahblahblah.

Which leads me to my biggest annoyance about blogland. Bloggers who get too big for their britches, write a million different places and all but abandon the blogs that made them interesting and funny and unique and addictive in the first place. Example entry of such annoyance:

"Sorry it's been so long, I've been busy writing here and here. And check out my newest article here. Catch you later!"

You know, if I wanted to read you in other places I would. But I found you because of your original amazing blog and now it's just a cheap way to get people to click over to your paying gigs and it takes all authenticity out of your writing.

Second biggest annoyance, the advertising. No, not the links down the side. But when you know that bloggers are being paid or incentivized by companies to talk about their products. Now, I know this is ironic, hypocritical, etc coming from me...I'M IN ADVERTISING AND PR!! I know that blogging and Twitter and the likes are the "wave of the future" and I'm in the middle of figuring out how to work with bloggers to reach people. I'm not against the idea. But recently there have been some bloggers who have been so wrapped up in their "paying gigs" that's all they talk about. Numerous upon numerous entries about "check out my recipe here" or "I was contacted by said company and now I love them". Moderation is the real key. I wish people could understand that. You have to be authentic and real....talking about it in every entry and not discussing your normal everyday things that made your blog great in the first place is not authentic and it's not real.

Ok...rant done. I had to cut some blogs loose this week on Bloglines. It was just too irritating! I'm not against making money on blogging, or advertising in general. But I just hate it when blogs lose what made them great...they stop being authentic and real.

I promise to be a better blogger. I have a whole entry on sensitive ponytail man in line at a restaurant who was talking about picking up girls at the "Twilight" premiere...

WARNING: What you are about to see may shock and disgust you

So neighborhood Bunko is playing at my house tonight. It's a fun group, but they are all relatively strangers. Which makes the pressure for the house to look nice (especially among ladies who live in similar houses on my block) especially strong. So when we figured out that our vacuum was fried (and probably had been for a long time, which makes sense since I've been saying it just isn't working) I sent John to the store for a cheap solution. Knowing DYSON was a long way away.

And he came home. With a magnificent, yellow Dyson and a grumbling-but-friendly greeting of "Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday".

So then we stood around all night and watched it transform our carpets. Watched the nastiness build inside the vacuum with every run. What you see below is the first run of the living room. JUST the living room. I was appalled. And fascinated. Apparently, this is not abnormal. But for me, the total clean freak that I am, I was appalled.

We vacuumed each room and came with the same nastiness as the living room. And I'm told if we vacuum again tonight, we'll probably get the same amount of stuff. So after Bunko tonight, I'm doing it. Welcome to my new (literally) dirty little secret.
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Also, I've started doing the crazy little thing called Twitter. If you Twitter (or start) please send me a note with your Twitter name so I can follow you! Mine is jandj621.

My Husband

I came home this week to the most amazing gift I've ever received. I left for Hilton Head for 6 days and the back bedroom was a white, empty, completely blank slate. I came home to this.

And then after a challenge/tag from Emily to write something very nice about my husband I thought what better time than after he blew me away with his handywork?

My husband is amazing. I guess the main thing I love about him is that he makes me laugh. All the time. It's constant laughter. Even if I'm really mad and we're yelling, he flares his nostrils and gets this grin and I erupt into giggles. Try yelling at someone who's nostrils are flaring...it's awfully hard.

He has been so supportive of everything I do. From the extra hours I work to the traveling I've been doing for the last 2 years to the phone calls and e-mails I accept during the evenings and weekends...he's been a great support in watching me grow my work responsibilities. I think he's even proud of having such a kick-a$$ professional wife!

He has made friends with my friends, supported our search for a church home, and been the more outgoing of the two of us to build relationships that will last us a lifetime.

He took over the budget from me after one year into our marriage and has single-handedly saved us thousands of dollars in doctor fees from all the stomach and psycho doctors I would see because of the ulcers money gives me. He takes great care of our financial life, allowed us to enjoy the dream home we're in and drive nice cars that won't fall apart. And gives me my monthly luxury of DVR and digital cable!

And all of that doesn't even touch on the support he's offered me over the last THREE years of trying to grow this little family of ours. The first year of trying to have a baby that almost broke us, the second year of expensive specialists and treatments and needles and testing, and now this third year of adoption. The fact that we have survived this long, and truly grown stronger because of it, makes bringing our son home in a few weeks all that more meaningful. Not everyone would be strong enough to go through the things we went through to have baby....I'm so glad I found the right person to stick with it.

He's funny, he's handy (just look at those nursery pics!), he's sensitive, he's personable, he loves his family, he's a loyal friend, and he's currently sugar-free! Still going strong over 11 months of not eating sweets...that right there is a feat within itself and I'm very proud of him.

I love you, Babe! Thanks for being the perfect husband (most of the time...pick your socks up off the floor and then you'll be perfect!) and for building a dream room for me and for Colt. You're amazing!

No Celine

Bad, bad blogger I am...it's a good thing I didn't sign up for NaBloPoMo this year. I'm in terrible shape!!


Before I give you pictures and a recap of my trip to BEAUTIFUL Savannah (including a complete recount of every food I ate at The Lady and Sons Restaurant), and before I show you pictures of the AMAZING nursery I came home to yesterday...I just have to say how much this week sucks.


On the list of "things to do before I die" includes seeing Celine Dion in concert. I mean, I know some of you think that's completely stupid but I LOVE her and have for so long and have always wanted to see her in person.

Last year for Christmas my sister gave me tickets to her concert in Tulsa on November 13th. So you can imagine how exciting this week was supposed to be. I've been looking forward to it for almost a year, but really waiting on it for, like, 15 years.

The concert has been postponed due to Celine being sick. Which, I think, means it will never really happen. It's supposed to happen on February 2nd and I really, really hope it does. I was so ready to go see her and sing power ballads all night with my concert buddy sister. I even warned Julia I was probably going to cry like a baby the whole time because it's that kind of thing for me.


So...no Celine this week. Sad, sad, sad.

I'll post pictures soon!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

So, yeah, it's 2:00 in the morning and I'm not asleep. I'd like to say it's because I just got in after a crazy night of partying with the retirement community here in Hilton Head. But, that is not the case.

After an afternoon of outlet shopping (and a little beach combing) I ended up with a ridiculous migraine right before we were supposed to leave for dinner with fun clients. I decided I could not sit through 3+ hours of small talk so I grabbed a burger from the hotel bar (because the room service is not very good), quickly ate and ended up crashing around 7:00 p.m.

Sounds like a dream, right? Well, the only problem is that I woke up from what was essentially a nap at 11:30 (in time to see Texas Tech beat OSU which ONLY pleased me because it helps us get to the Big 12 Championship). I'm wide awake....wide awake. I could work, but that's not sounding all that appealing.

In case I haven't mentioned it, we have a baby due in less than a month. If he has not arrived by December 4th, that's the day he will join us! But I've had a feeling for a while we'll have a Thanksgiving baby (sometime that week) and the doctor is saying he would not be surprised if that's the case. It's looking very promising.

The amount of things I have between now and then add up so much I'm not sure where to start. Luckily my business trips for 2008 are over as of Monday. Then it's back to work where I need to conduct a survey, get my team squared away on their plans for the rest of the year, create my "while I'm out" list of roles and responsibilities for my boss and team members, pack up my office for the office move in 2 weeks, figure out insurance and flex plan details for 2009 with a new baby, assemble my last presentation for 2008 to update all my agency's offices, and make sure everything is together for while I'm on leave.

Also, in between all the things I need to get together for work, I have Liz's baby shower, Celine Dion concert, my next baby shower, Riley's birthday party, Thanksgiving, my dad visiting, unpacking all the gifts and organizing the nursery, cleaning (and more cleaning), writing Thank You notes, reading Book Club book (may not happen), spending time with family and friends, and OH YEAH getting some time in with my husband before our life changes forever.

And then there is the worrying and waiting and daily changes to think about with the whole adoption process and birth parents. Contacting our lawyer, daily calls driving our caseworker crazy, anxiety about the hospital experience (all the unknowns), and the terrifying reality that this may very well be it. We're going to be parents, it's happening...and I have no idea how to do that.

So forgive me if I'm a little on edge or out of touch the next few weeks. In fact, just typing all that out is helping with this insomnia and making me very sleepy. I think I'll head to bed and try to get a little more sleep. Big day tomorrow...we're headed into Savannah, GA to shop and eat at The Lady and Sons restaurant (Paula Deen's place) for some good ol' butter-soaked, deep fried southern cooking!

Good Night (morning)!

It's a hard life

It is literally the perfect day here in South Carolina. See the view from my balcony? How about the view from my stroll on the beach? No clouds, no wind, 75 degrees. Absolutely perfect.

Free afternoon today, tomorrow will be spent playing Wii, Rock Band, and browsing Facebook. Because we have to. Sigh...I really do love my job! I just wish John was here, but he is busy painting and assembling a crib. I will go home on Monday to an almost-complete nursery!!

What If

Dude, what if I didn't vote, and just said I did?

You all would never know the difference! I could spend the next 4 years griping and complaining (or high-fiving, depending on the outcome) and totally play the part and you guys would never know!

Don't freak out, I'm going to vote this afternoon. I'm just saying...what if I didn't?

I would tell everyone to go vote, because I do believe in it, but I don't think you need direction from me. I will say one thing about the day...I believe today's election is very important. But I also believe that THIS election is as important as it is every 4 years (and in between).

Voting for president, and senators, and congressmen, and state legislators, and school board representatives, and judges, and state questions are ALL important. Each one a vital part of the way our country works. So, yes, please vote today. Take it seriously, just do it, blah blah blah.

But what's really important is to KEEP voting. Whoever takes office after this election will have, at most, 8 years in office. I'm pretty sure we're all going to continue living long after 8 years has passed. We have to have as much passion and drive for future elections as we do for this one. So today is no more important to me than 2004's election, or last year's state elections, or 2012's election. I just like to vote, I like to feel a part of this system no matter how small.

And, yes, I think American politics (politics anywhere actually) are incredibly corrupt. But that doesn't mean I can't exercise my freedom to TRY and have a say in the way it works. That was for my husband.

OMG! It's so cute!

Yeah, this is pretty much how I looked all day yesterday. And pretty much all I said was "aaawwww! it's so cute!!!".

I'm still processing the amazement of yesterday. More pics and updates to come. In the meantime, thanks to my amazing friends and church family. I'm overwhelmed.