Cry-Baby

So I've had a difficult couple of days, and it's really stupid why. On Friday I got a call with a really great opportunity to work with a couple of different clients with the agency for 3 weeks in January. 3 measly weeks for really great experience. The catch: I'd need to spend much of that time working in the Dallas office. The second catch: it just happens to fall in the 3 weeks before John leaves for 3 weeks for training in California. You do the math.

Oftentimes, I tend to overthink, overanalyze, overreact in many situations. I'm sure this is not a shock to any of you! I like to feel in control, I like things to fall into place and I'm big on things "feeling" right. I had to make a decision yesterday whether I wanted to take this opportunity or not. Feeling like professionally it was not something I could pass on, I said yes. And it still doesn't feel right.

I'm struggling with why my head is screaming one thing, my heart screaming another. A friend of mine said "if it was any other time than right before John left, it wouldn't even be a second thought. You would just do it". And she's probably right. This is what I went to school for, what I've trained to do is work in PR, and here's a 3-week window to work on something other than my restaurant client for the first time since I graduated.

I'm going to do it, and I'm going to do my best to think positively about the whole experience. Then John and I can celebrate and take some time together when he gets home in late February and we'll laugh at how worried, stressed, anxious and sad I was. How we made it through with flying colors, both better off professionally.

Maybe part of it is there's a tremendous amount of pressure, being that these projects would actually be pitching new business. I'm sure it's not a shock to many of you that often my confidence level is lacking. My head knows I can do it, but I can't convince the rest of me that I have the skills or savvy to do it.

I've been way too upset over this, I know. It's so stupid--it's only 3 weeks. And it's only 5 1/2 weeks away from John. People send their spouses away to war for a year or more! I need to keep this in perspective. Can't help it...I'm just tired of stewing over it and crying over it.

Please pray for me to be at peace with this decision. Please pray for John and I, as it will be hard. And hopefully I'll not think about it over the holidays. I know that we're both presented with these opportunities because we're smart and successful and people (not to mention God) believe in us and our abilities.

Still need a little more peace with it...