Thursday, August 26, 2010

Work-Life Balance?

I've been on 5 business trips since mid-July, with three major ones to come before October. The next three are big ones: to Cabo San Lucas, Panama City Beach, and Lake Tahoe. Excited to travel places I've never been...but it's never easy. And I'm already really tired and worn out.

I don't talk a lot about work here. I'm open with my identity, so I am careful about saying good or bad things about work. I work in public relations, I imagine most of you know the client I represent at my agency. But still I don't say much because I never know.

I LOVE my job and especially recently it's been a welcome challenge. Lots of responsibility and leadership has been awarded to me over the last several years and lately it seems to have exploded. It's interesting because after Colt was born I felt distant and unmotivated to work. Days were long and I struggled with finally having my son and not being able to be at home with him. I realize now a lot of that came from being pregnant, too. It did a number on my body!

Anyway, strangely enough since I came back to work from Owen's birth I've been full of energy and excitement. I've had multiple people comment on my energy and say how impressed they were. I miss my children terribly during the day AND especially when I travel, but I'm sure thankful for a job that challenges me, excites me, invests in me, is flexible with me.

What I've found is that, for the most part, the energy I get at work translates to energy with my kids. And it means I rarely want to have girls nights or date nights or weekends away if it means being away from those boys. I cherish every.single.second. So for right now, things are good. No, they are great. And I love my work, I love my relationships at home, I love the chaos. I'm happy.

I've pondered something for several months now, a little tiff I got in with a friend on Facebook. A tiff I, admittedly, invited myself into. I'm so glad now that I didn't write about it immediately, when my emotions were raw and my tempers were flaring. I've had a lot of time to consider her words and luckily I feel exactly the same as I did when they were fresh: but I'm much calmer and have found so much peace since then.

I long-ago promised myself I would not engage in Mommy-war style dialogue. I find it doesn't help anyone, and what I did was take a statement too personally and stepped right into the war I swore I would void. So I accept responsibility for the hurtful opinion she expressed. And I've learned my lesson: just like politics, stay away from mommy-war issues (even if they are mean and hurtful to me personally) especially on Facebook. It's a forum to report lunches or ask for prayers or share pictures of the kids. It's not place for bickering.

I am still FB friends with this person, no reason not to be. To not be would mean I found her words so painful or truthful that I couldn't face her; to not be would mean I didn't respect her and all she's done for me; to not be meant that it bothered me. And while I disagree with what she said, it does not bother me. I'm confident in myself, my relationships, my choices, and I'm confident my life is God-driven and he is answering prayer.

So...there it is. I am "one of those people" who loves her job, loves her husband, loves her kids, loves her family, and loves her friends. So it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, I Love my life.

And I realized, through all that pain an anger I was experiencing, that I don't need to be a perfect mom. I just need to be Colt and Owen's perfect mom. Their opinion is all that matters to me!


Emily said...


elvensarah said...

It helps to be part of a company that allows work-life balance. You can see what it is like to work somewhere at

Michele said...

I love your agency too! I'm glad that you're finding the right balance in your life and loving it all!

Big hugs to you and the boys.

jeanna said...

Nicely said lady. Miss you guys for sure!

Anonymous said...

Loved this! I think God sent your post to me today... for reals. I had a fb tiff with someone yesterday, not about anything mom-related (she's only mom to a chihuahua) but rather about the virtues of home air conditioning. She made me so mad I blocked her. No real loss... she was dramatic and we weren't close to start with. But I'm realizing 24 hours later that I was a bit brash. So now, what to do, what to do.

Hope you have a great weekend with your boys!

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is, I'm jealous. I'm not happy being a working mom. I am not sure I will be happy being a SAHM. Maybe I just need a new job. :)

not so zen momma said...

Best statement: "I'm confident my life is God-driven and he is answering prayer."

I think people don't take that statement in account when they make generalizations and assumptions on each side of the "Mommy Wars."

And, you still have to make time for a movie morning with the gals, no matter how happy you are. ;-)