Grandmother

I have to tell you, I'm so very fortunate to have all 4 of my grandparents still living. I try not to take that for granted, I think of them often.

I'm particularly close to my mom's parents, mostly because they live closer and were the ones we spent more time with growing up. But to lose any of the four of my grandparents would be devastating.

Today we found out that Colt's birthgrandmother passed away. This was an incredibly kind, sensitive, loving, caring woman whom we had the pleasure of meeting several times. She not only helped raise N, Colt's birthmom, but she supported her through her pregnancy. She sat in on every meeting with our adoption agency. She drove N to the hospital numerous times during labor alarms. She held her hand as she gave birth to our precious son.

She kissed and held that boy while we drove to the hospital to meet him. She embraced us with open arms when we walked in the room. She comforted N as she spent time with Colt in that cold hospital room. She picked out many baby outfits and blankets for us to take home for him. She made sure to tell us about all of N and N's father's great qualities, obviously proud of the children and grandchildren she'd raised.

She walked with N across the hall to hand Colt into our arms when she checked out. She hugged us and assured us he would be a good boy for us. She kissed him, she loved us, she cried with us. And then she escorted her beloved granddaughter out of that hospital empty-handed and held her crying for months after we brought Colt home.

She laughed as he kicked and giggled when we visited her house in April. She listened intently to every detail of his growth and development, wanted to hear every story we could tell. She dug through her scrapbooks to find pictures of N as a baby for us to see and compare Colt to. And once again she kissed his sweet head goodbye as we left that day.

And my heart breaks that it was the last time he will ever see her. I mean literally breaks my heart.

She was THE support N has in her life. She was the glue that held that family together and they need lots of prayers during such a tremendous loss. I'm so thankful I have pictures of Colt and Grandma A together, because boy did she love him.

This adoption process, this welcoming of another family into yours has such effects that you can't prepare for. No one prepares you for how you'll feel when someone in your child's birthfamily passes away. I never thought about it. I never imagined how much it would hurt, how sad it would make me. I hope she knew how much we loved and appreciated her.