Friday, July 14, 2006

Lovers Lane

I have just a few thoughts to share on Theatre Etiquette.

1) Arrive on time to the show
2) If your seats are movable, do not move them without checking with the person behind you
3) Do not talk during the musical numbers
4) A theatre is not a massage parlor in Saigon--no rub downs are necessary during the show
5) Your love for your girlfriend can be expressed in many ways--none of which are appropriate for Lyric Theatre

We had the most outrageous experience last night at Lyric. We have season tickets to the summer season, and our seats are box seats. We sit in the higher chairs in the box, and there is a row in front of us. We had a great view of the stage last night, especially because there were two empty seats. Of course, about 20 minutes into the show, in walks Casanova (who was all of about 18 years old) with his girlfriend and proceeds to rearrange their seats so that they can touch each other as much as possible. I'm talking back rub, kissing, talking and my biggest pet peeve...HE WAS RUNNING HIS FINGERS THROUGH HER HAIR!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGG. Now while he is doing this to her, she has decided to slip out of her flip flops and proceeds to put her feet up on the hand rail and get real comfy while leaning back and talking to him. (BTW, no they did not look back or give the courtsey "am I in your way" gesture to any of us). John, about 5 minutes into this was ready to throw both of them over the balcony and create a little subplot to Fiddler on the Roof.

I am not even exaggerating when I tell you I felt I needed a shower afterwards. They were disgusting and would not lay off each other. Not to mention they were oblivious to the other people who had paid $50 to see "Fiddler on the Roof" (that's right--family friendly musical y'all, not "Basic Instinct 2"). The highlight of the evening was when my father-in-law, Arni, got up and asked the usher to remove the lovebirds--and he did! They left and didn't come back, which was nice but I'd already missed half the show because I was so distracted and angry.

Gross. I'm still gagging just thinking about it.

But the show was wonderful. I'd never seen "Fiddler" before, but it was a very nice show. The music was beautiful! It's fun to escape to a little culture now and then....a little break from "Laguna Beach" and "Reno 911".


Jonh Neo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
swatterson said...

haha! i loved your story. I'm sure it's wasn't so funny at the time but I laughed out loud a the thought of it. :)