Something is Missing

Oh, my. 2012 sure hasn't turned out like I expected.

I lost a huge piece of my heart last week. My beloved grandma waged a valiant battle after heart surgery. We all had so much hope that she would be stronger than ever. But she just grew tired in recovery and her body fought back against her will. She passed away peacefully with my mom and sister at her side. I still can't quite believe she's actually gone.

Our family is forever changed. And though so many wonderful moments have come and gone in this year, it will be marked forever in my history book as the year we were one less. After several years of adding to our family, this year we lost our heart and soul.

I will write more about her, as I heal. When it becomes easier to say "I remember" instead of "I wish".

But I just felt like  my heart aches to mark how I'm feeling right now. How much I miss her voice and laugh and her hugs and her hand in mine. And how much I am dreading the next few weeks. I've never spent Christmas without her, my whole life we've been together.

I am blessed to have had her as long as I did, to carry on with her soulmate, my grandpa. And with two other grandparents. And I have peace in knowing we will meet again, and how much joy there will be when we do. But it doesn't make it any easier to not have her here.

"Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. ~Psalm 116:15"