Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Thinking beyond 140 characters

I’ve been quiet. I feel like I’ve lost my ability to write, honestly. Definitely haven’t lost inspiration. I have daily inspiration that I could fill volumes with. Especially now that one of my inspirations is forming sentences and picking up on sayings and humor. But I’ve found my brain is operating differently.

I used to write stories. Lots of stories, long and short. My mind was constantly forming plots, characters, names. That’s how I started writing. In third grade we had a writing challenge for mystery stories and my teacher liked my “book” so much she kept it for future classes as an example. That’s when I knew I had a gift. She remains one of my heroes, as the woman who spurred my love of reading and introduced me to the world of putting my imagination on paper. If I ever wrote a book, it would be dedicated to her…I’ve known that since I was 9 years old.

This love continued for a long time. I wrote stories through high school. And in college, by nature of schedules and “growing up” I moved away from stories. By then maybe this narcisstic phase of writing began. AOL instant messenger was created. People were creating webcites on GeoCities. Napster was all the rage and sharing music files was as intimate and creative as any blog is today.

And then, blogging appeared. I’m still so infatuated…scratch that, completely IN LOVE with blogging. I love reading blogs. I love finding new blogs. I scour my Google reader multiple times a day and have several blogs that make my heart leap when I see new entries. I think back on blogging and how it was a lifesaver, a true lifesaver, when I was going through this mad journey to find my sons. But more than that, just an outlet to release all my weird random thoughts and celebrity obsession and house design. Being a young professional, newlywed, discovering friendship in a new world…all chronicled on my blog in a precious gift to my future self and maybe a daughter-in-law one day (because, let’s be honest, my sons won’t ever appreciate it like a woman would).

But lately I find myself thinking in only two ways: 140 character tweets/Facebook posts and PowerPoint slides. I really am struggling to find the motivation to write anything more. I often think of things I want to write, but by the time I sit down to do it I’m too tired or distracted to follow through. Plus I doubt anyone reads anymore, it’s just too long between posts.

All that to say I do have something I want to write. Last week so many were victimized by monstrous tornadoes. And even though I’ve lived in Oklahoma my entire life, I had an all new experience as one giant tornado touched down less than 5 miles from my home. My children changed everything. And I think the best way for me to move on, to deal with the emotions of that day and that experience is to write. And, so I will…


Willy's Auntie said...

I still read your blog! I don't write much on my blog because my life is generally boring - no children, etc. So I look forward to your writings!

JJ said...

It is difficult to think beyond 140 characters now-a-days, huh? But Im glad you posted this--I often forget to get the stories/thoughts out of my head and beyond those 140 characters!

Angie said...

I still read! Just wanted to say that. Funny because I said the same thing the other day to my DH that I was sure no one reads mine anymore because, like you, I write so infrequently. But, when my sidebar shows a new post, I definately read! Hope you keep writing... maybe the inspiration will catch you when you least expect it!

alison said...

Keep writing, I want to keep reading! :)

Leah said...

Your blogs is one of the ones I read, and my heart leaps when you update. :) I don't check very often these days because you haven't been updating much, which is very understandable. Kids, husbands, jobs, and LIFE can keep us all very busy.

Hope you and your family are doing well. :)