People Watching at it's Finest

I am breaking my two-week silence on this blog for a very good reason. One, I KNOW you all miss me. You're all tired of hearing blah blah adoption, blah blah baby...get back to randomness and useless information! I know, I know.

I think I'll keep Here's to Hope going for a while so this doesn't turn into a dreaded mommy blog or something. Not that I read any (128) of those or anything. MmmmmK....

ANYWAY, last night John and I went to eat at Chili's because we had a gift card (SCORE) and we're poor. And it provided the best opportunity for people watching I've ever experienced. EVER.

We all SAY we love people watching. "Oh, I love the state fair to people watch" and "nothing is more fun than a mall on black Friday to people watch" and "Blog stalking is an acceptable, anonymous form of people watching". But truly, last night, I understood people watching.

A lady we will affectionately refer to as Crazy Psycho Hosebeast (CPH for short) came in and was seated at the table next to us. The best way I can describe her is that she looked EXACTLY like LaFawnDuh in "Napoleon Dynamite". No lie. She ordered two drinks including a margarita, John and I hardly noticed. We assumed she was waiting for someone.

I guess I really noticed her first when she began licking the salt off the margarita glass like a dog laps up a discarded hot dog. Full on tongue out, licking the glass and turning it like an ice cream cone as she went.

Then the laughter began. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her physically laughing (you know, leaning forward in a full belly laugh, sitting back and twirling her hair in a flirtatious giggle) and hear it. Then John kept watching her. She was talking. Carrying on a conversation is more like it.

I immediately assumed she had a blue tooth in. On more than one occasion I have pinpointed someone as a CPH and it turns out they're just talking on a blue tooth. I imagine Nathan looks like that as he drives home from work since the Versa has blue tooth built in. ANYWAY....

She then finally placed her order as the waitress came by for the third time to ask for it. "We'll have the tacos" she said. It was then that I began to think maybe she was seeing someone that I couldn't.

Not long after the waitress left, she began arguing with someone. Actually, she began arguing with air. It was a full on, wagging her finger, shaking her head, elevated volume of speech "oh no you didn't" argument.

There was no one there. She was talking to no one. Air. Air that had it's own drink and was apparently splitting tacos with CPH.

And then the second margarita arrived, which I thought was fitting because nothing takes the edge off a difficult conversation like a second round of alcoholic beverages.

I don't know how it ended up because we left. It seemed CPH and Air had made up briefly when we left, as she flirtatiously giggled.

It was, in a word, awesome. Totally awesome and John and I laughed about it all night.

You never know when people watching will really pay off. If you try to hard and look for it you can be sorely disappointed. It's little gems like this that take you by surprise that really make you realize: there ARE people out there crazier than you are.