Mother's Intuition

So just a quick story. Because I'm delirious after a rush of adrenaline and complete sleep deprivation.

I am SO sick of my kids being SICK. I mean that in a really loving way, honestly I'm sick of watching them go through ear infections and strep throat and RSV and now pneumonia...it breaks my heart when they hurt and I can't help. I mean, technically I can: I am their caretaker. But I can't immediately take their pain away.

Sunday morning Colt woke up and began vomiting uncontrollably. In the 25 minutes it took us to get ready to go to after-hours urgent care, he's thrown up on his bed, our bed, our couch, our chair, the kitchen floor, the bathroom floor, the bathtub, and the carseat. Everytime he moved he threw up. At the time we assumed a stomach virus. But it was accompanied by a high fever around 103.

He tested negative for flu and strep at urgent care and they sent us on to the ER. Already my wonderful, saintly mother had taken Owen and I would not see my precious baby son for 5 days. Because despite urgent care having major concerns about our VOMITING AT WILL, LOSING CONSCIOUSNESS, RAGING FEVER TODDLER...the ER wait was long. Over three hours we waited for blood work and exam. At this point, every stinking sign was pointing to meningitis and I was about to lose it if we waited another hour and got in and couldn't do anything because we were too late. THAT is what was racing through my head.

But as we sat there, and watched 3 people be called back in the three hours we were there, Colt suddenly woke up, drank a bottle of VitaminWater, ate some graham crackers and began running around hysterically. Fine. No fever. And I did not want to wait one more minute, especially when they said that there were still 5 in front of us. So we took him home.

Monday, more dry heaving and really high fever. Called the pediatrician - it's a stomach bug we don't need to see him, let it run it's course. By Wednesday his fever was scary high and it had gone on long enough. I KNEW all along this wasn't a stomach bug, I KNEW something was very wrong. I just knew. Finally got into our pediatrician and sure enough - pneumonia. Covering 3/4 of his right lung. One shot of antibiotic and the next day he was like a new kid.

So, today I decided we needed to bring Owen home. I MISSED that baby's sweet cheeks. He'd stayed at my mom's since until Wednesday, we didn't know Colt wasn't contagious. Pick him up early from school for a treat, get him home and BOOM 102 fever. Welcome Home, Baby! Once again called the pediatrician, once again we were told to "watch and see". And I know that works on kids about 90% of the time. But I was riding high from my "I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MY PNEUMONIA-RIDDEN BABY" victory. So I marched poor sleepy Owen to urgent care where they found two bulging, bright red ear infections.

I just have to laugh. Smile about my mother's intuition. Laugh about how FUNNY it is that the kids got THIS sick and caused me to miss a week of work after missing 5 days over the previous 2 weeks for snow days. All while John was gone. ALL while John was gone.

I'm freaking Supermom.

And ready for Daddy to come home tomorrow!

Owen - Your First Birthday

Dearest Owen,
Today you turn 1. It's been a year since you came into our lives. It's hard to imagine a day without you...it feels like you've been with us forever.

I look at pictures from July 4th, 2009 and my first thought is not about your brother's first Independence Day. It's how it was 3 days before I got the biggest surprise of my life. I remember being tired and that day in particular convinced me I needed to take a test. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would turn out the way it did. I didn't even tell Daddy I was taking it! I was alone as my world turned upside down and I paced the house until your dad got home, my heart pounding. I was afraid I would be robbing Colt of his parents, afraid I couldn't give YOU the kind of undivided attention your brother had received. It's a feeling that didn't leave me until the moment you were born. But Daddy - we;;, he was SO happy and SO excited so immediately after hearing the news that those few moments after telling him were the calmest of my entire pregnancy. Mommy tends to worry, so I did.

Clearly I had nothing to worry about!

From the moment I saw you on the ultrasound, I wished you would be a boy. I wished, I prayed, I dreamed of bringing a brother to Colt. I knew that our lives would be infinitely sweeter if there were brothers so close. I could hardly contain my excitement when I found out my wish had been granted. Colt began calling you Bubba the day you were born, and since then you've adored him. He's the funniest person you know.

One of my very favorite things about you is that you are so focused. Focused is a way of saying quietly stubborn. You don't back down. Ever. And when you accomplish whatever it is that you're focusing on (getting somewhere, knocking something over, pulling something apart) you sit back and clap for yourself with the biggest grin. You know what it means to accomplish your goals and I have no problem cheering with you - even if it means cleaning up a hundred blueberries off the floor before your brother stomps through them.

I feel like I could describe you with a million S-words: strong, sturdy, stubborn, sweet, silly, sensitive, snugly, social...you get the picture. You very much enjoy just sitting in my lap and watching your surroundings. You lay your head on my shoulder when you get shy or sleepy. You cling to me when I try to put you down, as if to say "no, Mama, I want more". You don't say too many words and you don't have to. I can read you like a book by looking in your eyes.

You're sensitive, something I joke about as your ability to produce crocodile tears and dramatic wails grows each day. If someone sets you down, especially when you're sleepy, it genuinely hurts your feelings. So you're promptly scooped back up and your round cheeks are kissed a hundred times to make up for it. That's the way we do it here.

Your giggle is infectious, I've taken more video and recorded your voice more times than I can count. Your grin is so wide, your four teeth so pearly white. You indulge my snuggling. Your hair is growing so fast - so blonde in person and so red in photos. You laugh like me, smile like your Mimi. You eat everything and store up reserves in your round, puffy cheeks. You drum like crazy and love rhythms but could care less about the melodies. You are mesmerized by Mickey Mouse and clap whenever he comes on TV. You love the bath and splashing. Your official first words were "boobear" for blueberry and "ah duh" for all done; I mean you can say mama dada but intentional words had to do with food, of course! Your favorite things are your baby blankets and your giraffe rattle.

I have soaked in every detail of your first year, living in the moment knowing how fast it goes. I am a much calmer, more patient, more relaxed mom since you arrived. I didn't know how having a second son would affect our life; I just couldn't predict the joy.

Thank you for blessing us, thank you for letting me be your mommy, thank you for being the exact perfect fit for our little family. Your brother may have created our family, but you completed us.

Love you forever, like you for always, as long as you're living, my baby you'll be.
Love,
Mama

Mostly for me

Having spent so much extra time with the boys the last two weeks with snow days galore, it's been extra hard to leave them. Also, John is in training and hasn't been home in 2 weeks so they've been so super attached to me. I love it, honestly. Best feeling ever.

But we're ALL ready for Dad to come home.

Anyway, I wanted to just list a few things I want to hold onto, memories I've cherished that I know will slip away.

Owen:

• So close to walking. He's such a fast crawler I can hardly keep up with him.
• When he arrives at the location he was crawling to, he sits back and starts clapping. Like "yay! I made it, let's celebrate!".
• He lifts his arms when he wants to be picked up, just as tall as he can. He often throws his head back to look up at me and almost tips himself over. It's the best feeling to see him be able to communicate that he wants to be picked up and snuggled!
• He has a death grip on my arm when he doesn't want to let me go. And really, he's just playing a game with everyone. Anyone who is holding him and trying to pass him to someone else to hold, he'll wrap his arm around their's and not let go. Then he'll bury his face in your neck/shoulder and it causes you to say "aw, Sweet Baby, you just want me" and you'll kiss his head and squeeze him tight. He does this because he wants the kisses...he rarely cries when you actually pry him off and pass him on. Something about him loving the cuddles makes me melt.
• He's talking a lot more, still no real words but he's being direct about communicating. I think we all do enough talking for him, he just doesn't feel the need to chime in!
• He DOES, however, know how to scream when he's in his high chair and out of puffs or fruit. There is NO tolerance for such deprivation.

Colt:

• He has been extra snuggly, as well. He's always been very affectionate, but it's clear being away from Daddy and having so much extra time with Mommy is affecting him. He wants to see me all the time and if I even step out of a room he starts calling for me to make sure I'm still there.
• He's SUCH a good helper in the kitchen. Loves to stir and pour and measure things. Since I haven't really spent a lot of time in the kitchen before now, this is encouraging and exciting to me.
• He has a new sign for singing - he tells me the song he wants and starts shaking his head and body like a bobblehead. I think it's supposed to be a dance, but it always means sing.
• I now know Phineas and Ferb episodes by one word each, often in regards to an obscure reference in the episode. There's kickball, mom, girl, knight, monkey, restaurant, watchin', Mars...
• He loves the songs off the Phineas and Ferb soundtrack, but lately he's been open to others. We make up a lot of songs (I have a great made-up one about the Incredibles if you need it), but the other night he asked me for a song about honey. So we now sing "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies and he likes to listen to it in the car.
• He also has a favorite P&F song he calls "Mom". I thought he was asking for it the other day but he yelled "NO! Not Mom. Mommy song." I figured out that the day earlier I'd begged to listen to one of MY favorite songs ("let's listen to one of Mommy's songs") and he liked it and now we can add Zac Brown Band's "Chicken Fried" to our list.
• He prayed last night, on his own, for every member of his family. It melted my heart as he listed each person off, and I thought what a blessing for each of them.
• He's obsessed with cleaning (me = proud) and sweeps, vacuums, and wipes down tables and chairs anytime I'll let him.
• Also obsessed with haircuts and the haircut kit we have at home. He likes to comb my hair over my face like Cousin It. Makes him laugh and laugh.
• He's desperate for Owen to walk. He loves to take people's hands and lead them to his play room, and he keeps trying to grab Owen's hand and about takes his arm off trying to lead him somewhere. He can't wait for his brother to walk hand-in-hand with him.

Both:

• They are really loving playing together. They like to hide behind curtains and under blankets and play peek-a-boo. The other day they were in another room, I couldn't see them but I could hear both their giggles over and over. Exactly what I'd dreamed of!

So blessed to have had these few weeks with them. My mom and stepdad and sister have stayed overnight during the snow days at various times and the boys just LOVE it. They love having extra family there and showing off and getting extra snuggles. My feet may be cold, my skin dry, my car salty, and my driveway covered in snow but the precious times with the boys have been worth every second!

Snow Day in fuzzy cell phone pictures

So, like 2/3 of the country we had snow days this week. Multiple snow days. They were great. Awesome. So much better than I expected! Boys were great. We exhausted everything we could possible do in our house: baked, cooked, colored, movies, building blocks, curtain games, made snow ice cream, playing chase, calling our family...it was a great few days! Faith stayed curled up on a warm fleece blanket almost the entire 3 days!

Here are some of our adventures from the cell phone perspective. Luckily Aunt Julia was here to help us out over the few days!