The Dragon and the Puppy

There will be more photos to come, but a sneak peek at the boys ready for some Halloween awesomness. I just want to eat them up!

Videos of the boys!

John here...Jessica told me to get on her blog tonight and post a couple of videos of the boys, so here ya go!


The first is Owen. He is definately not camera shy. He is now sitting up on his own, and discovered how to put his paci in all by himself. You will rarely ever see him not smiling!




This one is of Colt after he helped daddy carve his first pumpkin (or as Colt calls it, the momkey).

Survival Mode

So we've been operating in "survival mode" for quite some time. You know - cutting corners, doing things (or not doing things) we feel pretty guilty about to make it through the day. And I don't mean bad things...I mean things like we eat out far too often, or give Colt hot dogs for dinner 3 nights in a row, we don't eat together as a family, sometimes we keep Colt up too late just for some play time, or skip Owen's bath for the third night in a row and instead wipe him down with a baby wipe. You know you're in survival mode when it takes you 4 days to complete a blog post.

I think every family hits times where it's "survival mode". I don't believe this is just an issue in families where both parents work, though I've been struggling with feeling like that lately. Work, for me, has been both awesome and exhausting lately. Most of you know this is the time of year that I travel and this year was probably the most travel I've ever had in a season. I believe we've come through it with grace and peace and continued thankfulness for having family at every corner who can help get us through.

There are lots of things in survival mode I want to change. Going to church more often is a big one. We go every Sunday morning but I'd like to go Wednesday nights and spend more time with our small group/Bible class. Unfortunately that's one that probably will have to wait as my kids are melting down and ready for bed by 7p during the week, sometimes earlier.

Spending time with my husband that doesn't involve football games or favorite sitcoms (meaning out of the house) is a big one. But unfortunately every extra minute I have outside of work I'm wanting to be with the boys. Or asleep!

One thing I have taken control of is weight loss and exercise. It's not easy, oh no. Not easy. But I joined Weight Watchers, and I'm losing weight! Noticing a difference in my clothes and feeling better about my looks in just a matter of weeks. I personally think it's pretty impressive with all the travel I do and how little control I often have over my diet. In addition, I've joined a Zumba class and when I'm not in class I'm doing the Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred. I HATE it. I HATE exercising. But I'm doing it!

The biggest one that I often feel guilty about is meals. Colt has to eat early, he has an early lunch and is starving by the time we get home. I also HATE to cook and I'd rather spend those few hours in the evening with the boys rather than in the kitchen. And so, we've relied on Gerber Toddler Meals and as of late hot dogs or fast food. And after he goes to bed, John runs to fast food restaurant again for our meals. It seems so simple and yet it's so exhausting.

So I'm trying something new. I've made a list of easy-to-make meals for Colt. Things I can make over the weekend and reheat. Meals with better ingredients that can be assembled and cooked in minutes. And, honestly, just having a plan. It sounds so silly but I've been praying about it a lot. It's a goal I have that is going to be HARD for us. I dread it, but know that I want Colt to eat better or at least be exposed to better food.

For reasons that require their own post these meals are not necessarily for me and John. Seriously, it's a whole other post. But it's a step. A start. I'll never be known to my kids as a great cook. But I can at least feel like their mealtimes were important enough to me to make a plan and spend time in the kitchen.

I'm motivating myself to cook several meals tomorrow by baking Pumpkin Bread tonight. It's one of the things I'm actually pretty good at. So I will enjoy warm, gooey, buttery pumpkin bread tomorrow as I slave over the oven. Feel sorry for me, ok?!

Owen's Eyes

This boy's eyes are so crystal clear. They are sometimes pale blue, sometimes very gray. They are beautiful with his fair skin and fair hair.

I hope they stay this way!

Baby Colt?

Colt's new favorite thing is to try out all of Owen's baby stuff. Whether it's "night-night" in the Moses basket, bouncing in the bouncy seat, crawling in his infant car seat, getting stuck in the Bumbo, or getting stuck in the exersaucer he likes to pretend he's a baby.

But the last picture will show that, sadly, he is not. He's a big, giant, grown-up boy. More than his Mama's heart can handle sometimes!

Remembering the Call that changed our life

It was a normal day, in fact I remember it being busy and harried and a little stressful. I'd renewed my driver's license that morning, and got a GREAT picture. I remember leaving the Tag Agency and thinking "the next picture on my license will be after I'm a mom". So weird the things you think of on days that change your life.

The client I work with had decided to sponsor a Regatta, a rowing event, and the first event of a long weekend of rowing was that evening. It was a Thursday, and at the office we were getting ready for everything. I was looking forward to the evening, my mom and her friend were joining me to watch the rowers and enjoy a beautiful cool, clear evening on the river.

It was a little after 4:00 that I was in my boss' office, talking about the evening events and my phone buzzed with a text message. 2 years later and one of the biggest regrets of getting an iPhone is that I had to give up the phone that had that text message. Anyway, the text came from a number I didn't recognize. It said "This is T from (Agency). Please call XOX-XXOX". And my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't breathe as I called John, who was at that exact moment calling me. He'd just checked his voicemail and T had called him.

We knew this was it. It just was, we knew. Our agency made a point to not call unless it was THE call or something very important, because they knew seeing their numbers would get adoptive parents very nervous. So...this was it. We decided John would call. I think we decided because T had actually called him and had just left me a message but looking back I'm SO glad he did because I think it showed N from the beginning what an involved and excited Dad he would make.

It seemed like HOURS before John called back, but really it had been about 5 minutes. He asked me if I was sitting down. We were going to have a baby. We'd been CHOSEN! A baby boy, due in December.

I wanted to tell our families in person, so I didn't immediately call my mom. I knew I was going to see her that night but I still wanted to be able to tell her, my stepdad and sister all together. So we went to the rowing event, my lips not uttering a word. I did tell them we should all meet up for dinner after the event, and everyone was available.

During the event, T finally called me back for more info that she couldn't share while N was on the phone. I stepped away from my mom and her friend for a really long time, and they eventually came to my car where I was still on the phone. I told them to wait, I was on the phone with my boss. My stomach was churning, my heart racing as all I wanted to do was scream "we've been CHOSEN" to all around.

A little while later we all met at Cracker Barrel and I could barely get through ordering before I finally said "well...we got a call today". And tears started streaming and my mom said "the call?", and I could only shake my head yes. Yes, we'd received THE CALL. The call that would change everything.

We headed to John's parents next, where his mom was already asleep and as his dad told her the baby was due on December 7th she sleepily asked "Pearl Harbor Day"? And it was later that everything would sink in for her. Then we headed to his sister's house, called my dad, and his other sister. Then headed home to lay in bed and dream. Really dream.

There's no way we could even dream of what was to come. The joy and the work and the overwhelming love that would follow that call. It was beyond our wildest imaginations.

October 2nd will always be the day I celebrate my life as a mom. We love you, Colton!