So much for being a great blogger, huh?!
First of all, not long after the last post began the days of torturous migraines. Migraines have been a fairly new development for me in the last few years. I never had them before and then one day about 2 or 3 years ago I began getting these ridiculous headaches. They rose to a debilitating point last year and several have sent me to the hospital.
Being pregnant means there are limits to what I can take to manage the pain and side-effects. So all day on Thursday I just sat in our recliner, moving as little as possible. Trying to drink water. I took 3 steaming hot showers (steam helps), 2 baths, and finally some Excedrin Migraine. That evening we went out to dinner, and it did a world of good to get out of the house. I dealt with come-and-go headaches throughout the weekend but I was actually pretty proud of myself for managing through the pain without a lot of medication. Not that I am going to keep that up after baby is born or anything.
Sunday began the week-o-doctor trips. After a fairly typical Sunday morning, we picked Colt up from Bible class and he was suddenly very, very lethargic and snuggly. This is a boy who, no matter how tired he is, always has his head up checking people out and wants to be in-the-know. He's at a point now where he really doesn't nap anywhere except his bed (no more car, very rarely in Grandma or Mimi's arms at church, not even in bed with me). He's just busy and aware all the time. So my mama instinct began to tingle a little...something wasn't right.
My mom rocked him during church service because John and I were puppets in Children's Church. By the time she brought him to us an hour later, you could quite literally fry an egg off his body he was SO hot. It was astonishing how hot he was. Mama Instinct was now in overdrive and I hollered at John that we had to go right then. We raced to urgent care where his pediatrician is...only to find a major back up in a waiting room full of sick people (shocking, right?). The masks, the coughing, the piles of snotty kleenex, the feverish children...it was too much and Colt was beginning to be unresponsive, not able to keep his eyes open.
We went to another urgent care where our good friend, Kyle was working as a PA. We got right in and, as always, he took great care of us. Colt had a temp of 103! A little Motrin and Colt was feeling much better. He tested negative for all the flu (thank goodness) and negative for RSV. He got a breathing treatment and we went home. He's now been home all week, because the high fever lasted until Wednesday morning, then he broke out into a crazy rash. We saw his pediatrician on Wednesday who said it was a classic case of roseola. He's fine now, not even contagious, though still very polka-dotty! He also FINALLY has a tooth, and an ear infection so it's been a rough and painful week for the little man.
Tuesday was our BIG ultrasound! We were actually both pretty anxious about it, we both were up until about 1 a.m. the night before unable to sleep. We were excited, and part of me was very nervous because I knew it was about more than just the sex of the baby. They were checking to see if everything was working right, that the development was ok, and all major organs were there, and that there were no signs of birth defects at this point.
Once again, we had a friend in the medical field who took great care of us. Laura was our ultrasound tech and she found the baby right away and as soon as I could see the heart fluttering I started to relax. First sign that everything was ok. She said she usually looks at everything else and goes over the sex of the baby last. But, well, after about 5 seconds it was undeniable. Our little BOY was flashing his manhood all over the screen, proud as can be, and it was obvious he wanted us to know right away!
He was VERY active, moving all over the place, flipping and turning and kicking. The placenta is low-lying and forming a layer between my stomach and the baby so it will be a while before I can feel all that movement. He likes his hands up by his head, and likes to sit spread eagle as often as possible. We saw each and every beautiful, normal organ, a normal spine and head, all limbs accounted for.
We came home and told Colt he was going to have a baby brother, but he was much more interested in the cat. He's been practicing pulling up on the coffee table and pretty much that's what he wants to do all day, every day so baby news doesn't interest him much. He also is into clapping now and it is THE. CUTEST. THING. EVER.
So, Colt's going to have a baby brother. We're going to have two sons. We could not be more excited, it could not feel more perfect. Two little boys to fill our house with dirt and frogs and football helmets and sweaty clothes and cars and waterguns...what an adventure!
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Housekeeping
Couple of housekeeping things...
First of all, I'm starting to feel a little more inspired to be a better blogger! Between being really busy at work, so tired in the evenings and wanting nothing more than to play with Colt I've really slacked off. I'm still obsessed with reading blogs, but I'm finally starting to feel like I can come to life back here again. Hopefully you guys have stuck around. I'm working on some plans for hopefully a new design, some new ideas for posts, etc.
Second, I wanted to just throw out there a few things about comments. I am a terrible commenter but this is not all my fault. A lot of times I read blogs on my phone or while I'm on a break at work. My work computer currently operates on a really old version of Internet Explorer. For some reason, this version does not allow me to comment in the new commenting style of blogger. So unless there is a separate window that comes up (old school, like it's been for ages) I can't comment while I'm at work. So then, I get home and busy and lost momentum to go back and comment. I also read most on my phone while falling asleep or when I first wake up...hard to comment on a phone.
Don't let that confuse you into thinking I'm not reading or thinking about you all! I read every one of the blogs on my links lists and more. Anytime a new blogger comments on my site, I immediately go to your site, get caught up, and add you! So hopefully in the near future I will be a better commenter, but right now it is truly out of my control.
Finally, if you comment on here and have a private blog, please know that I would love to follow you. There's a couple of you recently (fortheloveof_grace, I'm looking at you!) but I don't know how to send you a request. I'm not AS good about following private blogs every day (because they don't show up on my feed reader, and then I forget for a few days, blah blah) but I DO love to read along! So, once you comment, please just assume I'd like an invitation to your blog. My e-mail is on the sidebar so you can send it to me.
If you're reading and have never commented and I don't know about you, please come out of hiding so I can get to know you. Honestly, I LOVE reading new blogs! Especially as many of my favorites have become a lot like me and not writing as much. You can send me an e-mail if you don't want to comment...I won't think you're weird or anything I promise. I mean, I've gone out of my way to meet people from blogland in real life, I'm also pretty open with Facebook if you prefer to get to know me that way. Just friend me!
Ok...housekeeping out of the way. Also, sarah7181 sometime would you please send me an e-mail and tell me about yourself? I love that you leave comments but you don't have a blog (at least not on blogger). So let me know if there is somewhere I can follow you.
The End. Love you all!
First of all, I'm starting to feel a little more inspired to be a better blogger! Between being really busy at work, so tired in the evenings and wanting nothing more than to play with Colt I've really slacked off. I'm still obsessed with reading blogs, but I'm finally starting to feel like I can come to life back here again. Hopefully you guys have stuck around. I'm working on some plans for hopefully a new design, some new ideas for posts, etc.
Second, I wanted to just throw out there a few things about comments. I am a terrible commenter but this is not all my fault. A lot of times I read blogs on my phone or while I'm on a break at work. My work computer currently operates on a really old version of Internet Explorer. For some reason, this version does not allow me to comment in the new commenting style of blogger. So unless there is a separate window that comes up (old school, like it's been for ages) I can't comment while I'm at work. So then, I get home and busy and lost momentum to go back and comment. I also read most on my phone while falling asleep or when I first wake up...hard to comment on a phone.
Don't let that confuse you into thinking I'm not reading or thinking about you all! I read every one of the blogs on my links lists and more. Anytime a new blogger comments on my site, I immediately go to your site, get caught up, and add you! So hopefully in the near future I will be a better commenter, but right now it is truly out of my control.
Finally, if you comment on here and have a private blog, please know that I would love to follow you. There's a couple of you recently (fortheloveof_grace, I'm looking at you!) but I don't know how to send you a request. I'm not AS good about following private blogs every day (because they don't show up on my feed reader, and then I forget for a few days, blah blah) but I DO love to read along! So, once you comment, please just assume I'd like an invitation to your blog. My e-mail is on the sidebar so you can send it to me.
If you're reading and have never commented and I don't know about you, please come out of hiding so I can get to know you. Honestly, I LOVE reading new blogs! Especially as many of my favorites have become a lot like me and not writing as much. You can send me an e-mail if you don't want to comment...I won't think you're weird or anything I promise. I mean, I've gone out of my way to meet people from blogland in real life, I'm also pretty open with Facebook if you prefer to get to know me that way. Just friend me!
Ok...housekeeping out of the way. Also, sarah7181 sometime would you please send me an e-mail and tell me about yourself? I love that you leave comments but you don't have a blog (at least not on blogger). So let me know if there is somewhere I can follow you.
The End. Love you all!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Making it Official
Our wonderful judge, our incredible lawyer Rachel Stoddard Morris, and our official forever family on September 1st, 2009. A dream come true!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Gotcha Day! (pictures coming soon)
So I'll start off by saying pictures are coming! I left my camera with the few court pictures we have at home. Also, I did a very smart thing (in my humble opinion) and had a friend who is a fabulous photographer take pictures at Colt's party. I knew I wouldn't have time to take pictures and there would be something I would forget. So she came and snapped away all night. She said around 300 pictures were taken, she's editing and getting them ready and I'm so excited! All I had to worry about was talking to people and feeding Colt cake, and it was awesome to know I wasn't missing anything.
So....on to the day!
Court went very well. We were the last on the docket, because adoptions are private and confidential so we had to be the only ones in there. It's handled in family court, and our judge was just awesome. He smiled through the whole thing and seemed genuinely excited to be part of the process.
I only teared up a couple of times. First of all, there were a couple of tough guardianship cases ahead of us and it just made me think about kids in general and parents and how hard it is to to be a parent and to be a kid. Add in a lot of stressors they have that I don't have to think about, and I just felt for the kids involved and the guardians who were fighting for them.
I was weepy anyway, then as the judge asked us if we understood that from this day forward it would be like this child was born to us, that legally there would be no distinction, and did we understand? Did we vow to raise him as our own? Did we understand what that means?
It's just powerful and heavy and even though we've been operating under all that since the beginning, it was incredibly emotional to me to make this "final vow" of sorts.
It was also so awesome to have almost our entire family in court with us. The judge asked if they were ALL there for Colt's case and as they nodded and he said "wow". My mom and stepdad, my dad, my sister, John's mom and dad, and John's sister and brother-in-law all came and took up an entire row. I can't ever express to them how much it meant to have them there for such a simple ceremony, for taking time out of their day to be a part of it. It just meant more than any of them could ever know.
We missed my grandparents, both sets who couldn't make it, my aunt, and John's other sister who had to work. But we felt them in spirit.
Colt was SO good. He was sleepy toward the end, but you could never accuse him of being disruptive. He hardly made a sound and was just so good through an hour of boring legal procedures.
We asked the judge if we could take pictures with him, and he said yes but only on one condition: we had to send him a copy. He said he'd been handling adoptions for 14 years, and he has a book full of pictures of the families he's helped create. He said when he has down days (and in family court, there are lots of down days), he flips through THAT book to lift him up. I thought that was a wonderful sentiment.
It was just the perfect ceremony, and it was far more emotional than I imagined it would be.
---------------------
We all headed to Bricktown after court to have lunch together, then John and I took Colt to visit his work for a few moments. Colt was SPENT at this point so we went home for some naps and my dad and sister came over to play with him for a few hours.
Then it was party time!
In Oklahoma, you generally don't plan outdoor events unless you want to be disappointed. So when I planned a casual cookout at a park, I worried and worried about the weather every day until the time came. But it could not have been more perfect. Other than a slight breeze, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was around 75 degrees. It was perfect.
We had tons of family and friends come out and eat hamburgers, hot dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, and a GIANT Gotcha Day cake. The only sad part was that there were so many people, I didn't get to spend a lot of time talking to everyone! But the pavilion was full of people who had supported and encouraged us and loved us every step of the way up until this day. That was what it was about, a chance for us to thank those who has held us up since long before we knew about Colt. To thank those who celebrated our perfect boy and who love him and love us.
We were overwhelmed at the support and everyone who came out. There were about 75 people, lots of kiddos who were patiently waiting for cake, and plenty of conversation.
My favorite part of the night was when my friend, Ashley, was helping serve cake, and had a plate near me and Colt. She was asking me something and before we knew it Colt had his hand in the icing and it was all over his face. Note to self: Colt loves icing. He's SO quick these days...nothing can be on his end of a table (hhhmmm, like sour cream or soda) before he's knocked it over or covered in it. We have some great cake pictures.
Anyway...it was an absolute perfect party, for a perfect boy, on a perfect day. I went to bed exhausted, sad it was over, but with a feeling of pure joy. We are so loved.
----------------------
I wish everyone could have a Gotcha Day! It's different than a birthday. It's a different celebration, a different feeling in the air. I also wish that everyone had the opportunity to stand before a judge and commit to raising their child with their full heart and resources. I mean, if we ALL did it...things might be different for kids out there, you know? We have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our spouse to get married...why shouldn't we have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our children to raise them?
I truly saw it as an opportunity and as an honor versus something we HAD to do and a burden placed only on adoptive families. It felt special.
It was a very special day.
So....on to the day!
Court went very well. We were the last on the docket, because adoptions are private and confidential so we had to be the only ones in there. It's handled in family court, and our judge was just awesome. He smiled through the whole thing and seemed genuinely excited to be part of the process.
I only teared up a couple of times. First of all, there were a couple of tough guardianship cases ahead of us and it just made me think about kids in general and parents and how hard it is to to be a parent and to be a kid. Add in a lot of stressors they have that I don't have to think about, and I just felt for the kids involved and the guardians who were fighting for them.
I was weepy anyway, then as the judge asked us if we understood that from this day forward it would be like this child was born to us, that legally there would be no distinction, and did we understand? Did we vow to raise him as our own? Did we understand what that means?
It's just powerful and heavy and even though we've been operating under all that since the beginning, it was incredibly emotional to me to make this "final vow" of sorts.
It was also so awesome to have almost our entire family in court with us. The judge asked if they were ALL there for Colt's case and as they nodded and he said "wow". My mom and stepdad, my dad, my sister, John's mom and dad, and John's sister and brother-in-law all came and took up an entire row. I can't ever express to them how much it meant to have them there for such a simple ceremony, for taking time out of their day to be a part of it. It just meant more than any of them could ever know.
We missed my grandparents, both sets who couldn't make it, my aunt, and John's other sister who had to work. But we felt them in spirit.
Colt was SO good. He was sleepy toward the end, but you could never accuse him of being disruptive. He hardly made a sound and was just so good through an hour of boring legal procedures.
We asked the judge if we could take pictures with him, and he said yes but only on one condition: we had to send him a copy. He said he'd been handling adoptions for 14 years, and he has a book full of pictures of the families he's helped create. He said when he has down days (and in family court, there are lots of down days), he flips through THAT book to lift him up. I thought that was a wonderful sentiment.
It was just the perfect ceremony, and it was far more emotional than I imagined it would be.
---------------------
We all headed to Bricktown after court to have lunch together, then John and I took Colt to visit his work for a few moments. Colt was SPENT at this point so we went home for some naps and my dad and sister came over to play with him for a few hours.
Then it was party time!
In Oklahoma, you generally don't plan outdoor events unless you want to be disappointed. So when I planned a casual cookout at a park, I worried and worried about the weather every day until the time came. But it could not have been more perfect. Other than a slight breeze, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was around 75 degrees. It was perfect.
We had tons of family and friends come out and eat hamburgers, hot dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, and a GIANT Gotcha Day cake. The only sad part was that there were so many people, I didn't get to spend a lot of time talking to everyone! But the pavilion was full of people who had supported and encouraged us and loved us every step of the way up until this day. That was what it was about, a chance for us to thank those who has held us up since long before we knew about Colt. To thank those who celebrated our perfect boy and who love him and love us.
We were overwhelmed at the support and everyone who came out. There were about 75 people, lots of kiddos who were patiently waiting for cake, and plenty of conversation.
My favorite part of the night was when my friend, Ashley, was helping serve cake, and had a plate near me and Colt. She was asking me something and before we knew it Colt had his hand in the icing and it was all over his face. Note to self: Colt loves icing. He's SO quick these days...nothing can be on his end of a table (hhhmmm, like sour cream or soda) before he's knocked it over or covered in it. We have some great cake pictures.
Anyway...it was an absolute perfect party, for a perfect boy, on a perfect day. I went to bed exhausted, sad it was over, but with a feeling of pure joy. We are so loved.
----------------------
I wish everyone could have a Gotcha Day! It's different than a birthday. It's a different celebration, a different feeling in the air. I also wish that everyone had the opportunity to stand before a judge and commit to raising their child with their full heart and resources. I mean, if we ALL did it...things might be different for kids out there, you know? We have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our spouse to get married...why shouldn't we have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our children to raise them?
I truly saw it as an opportunity and as an honor versus something we HAD to do and a burden placed only on adoptive families. It felt special.
It was a very special day.
Monday, August 31, 2009
The night before Gotcha Day
I can't really describe my feelings tonight. It's not the excitement of the night before my wedding. It's not like the night before the first day of school. Maybe not even quite like the night before Christmas...but maybe like the night before a big vacation or something.
In any case, it's a night of anticipation, of excitement, of anxiousness. Because tomorrow morning we take our family in our Sunday best to stand before a judge and pledge our lifelong devotion to Colton Thomas Alan Anderson and make official what we've believed and lived for almost a year now.
I can't wait. I am anxious and excited to get there, to stand up there. I'm worried I'll cry, I'm worried I won't cry. I'm worried Colt will be sleepy and fussy but I know the judge understands. I'm overwhelmed that almost every member of our family will be in the seats behind us, supporting us and loving Colt and quietly pledging their lifelong devotion to him as well. I'm thankful our wonderful attorney will be there to walk us through it.
What a culmination this will be. I never doubted this day would come, but I'm still ready for it to be here! I DO feel like a kid before Christmas morning. Laying out clothes, packing bags, making plans, charging camera batteries, ready to wake up and start the next chapter in our life where we're legally and officially a forever family.
I hope N is celebrating with us, not hurting at this final development. I know deep down she is happy that it is happening, she is proud of herself and Colt and of us and glad to see her family come together in this way. I'll be glad to send her pictures so she can see...we never backed down, we never wanted out, we will remain true to our commitment to her forever.
So, anyway, I guess I better get some sleep. To some it may seem cheesy, it's just a formality. But we do know we have an understanding judge who wants us to take pictures because he believes this is a momentous occasion. He wants us to celebrate, he wants our family there to be a part of it. This is closing a chapter on Colt's birth story and opening the chapter on his life story.
Colt is our testimony to love. So testifying tomorrow should be an outpouring of emotion for us. I can't wait.
Tune in soon for pics and a recap of the ceremony as well as our Gotcha Day party that night. Tomorrow is family and friends day and it's all about Colt...the most special day I can imagine!
In any case, it's a night of anticipation, of excitement, of anxiousness. Because tomorrow morning we take our family in our Sunday best to stand before a judge and pledge our lifelong devotion to Colton Thomas Alan Anderson and make official what we've believed and lived for almost a year now.
I can't wait. I am anxious and excited to get there, to stand up there. I'm worried I'll cry, I'm worried I won't cry. I'm worried Colt will be sleepy and fussy but I know the judge understands. I'm overwhelmed that almost every member of our family will be in the seats behind us, supporting us and loving Colt and quietly pledging their lifelong devotion to him as well. I'm thankful our wonderful attorney will be there to walk us through it.
What a culmination this will be. I never doubted this day would come, but I'm still ready for it to be here! I DO feel like a kid before Christmas morning. Laying out clothes, packing bags, making plans, charging camera batteries, ready to wake up and start the next chapter in our life where we're legally and officially a forever family.
I hope N is celebrating with us, not hurting at this final development. I know deep down she is happy that it is happening, she is proud of herself and Colt and of us and glad to see her family come together in this way. I'll be glad to send her pictures so she can see...we never backed down, we never wanted out, we will remain true to our commitment to her forever.
So, anyway, I guess I better get some sleep. To some it may seem cheesy, it's just a formality. But we do know we have an understanding judge who wants us to take pictures because he believes this is a momentous occasion. He wants us to celebrate, he wants our family there to be a part of it. This is closing a chapter on Colt's birth story and opening the chapter on his life story.
Colt is our testimony to love. So testifying tomorrow should be an outpouring of emotion for us. I can't wait.
Tune in soon for pics and a recap of the ceremony as well as our Gotcha Day party that night. Tomorrow is family and friends day and it's all about Colt...the most special day I can imagine!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Photography
I'm always up for free, beautiful photography! Would love to win a free photo session by Lesley.
If you live in the OKC area do me a favor and don't enter...increases my chances.
Kidding! (not really)
http://proctorspics.blogspot.com/
If you live in the OKC area do me a favor and don't enter...increases my chances.
Kidding! (not really)
http://proctorspics.blogspot.com/
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Colt at 8 months
So I never intended to take such a long break from blogging! Work has been so crazy that I don't have a lunch break to post, and (no lie) I've been going to bed every night between 7:00 and 8:00. I'm just that tired and worn out.
Our house has been a hotbed for sickness, Colt battling both tonsillitis and hand, foot and mouth disease in is little as two weeks. This has made him the grumpiest we've ever seen him, though we still enjoy excessive laughs and kisses! Add my physical exhaustion and overall icky feeling and you can tell John has his hands full.
Colt is now 8 months and 1 week old. I was just staring at him yesterday and realizing how crazy big he is. Especially his hands and feet. He's just grown into a little boy, not a baby anymore!
He's not crawling yet, though he's THIS close. I'm not sure he'll ever do much more than scooting as those chubby thighs make it hard to get up on all fours! You'll notice in the "fire chief" picture below, he sits with his ankles crossed. All the time!
Just in the last few days he has started greeting us after sleep and naps by being on his tummy in the crib, his head poked up over the side when he hears the door. He's also grabbing on to the bumpers for support and we know it's just a matter of days before we will need to lower his crib!
Still no teeth! We've loved missing the teething grumpiness, but really want the kid to eat steak one day so we're hoping for a tooth here or there soon...the gummy smiles are awfully cute in the meantime!
He says "dada" now, though it's more like babbling than really identifying Dada. "Dada, baba, gaga" are his favorites and I could listen to it all day.
I've mentioned the open mouth, sloppy, magical kisses he gives when we pucker for him, right? They are heavenly.
He is LOVING watching Faith, our cat. Any chance he sees her and he stops, reaches and laughs and laughs. She doesn't come close enough for him to grab her, but she sure loves to parade in front of him! It's fun to see him recognize and want things across a room.
He definitely is reaching for us, lifts his hands when we go to pick him up and dives for us when he's in other's arms. We're finding a little interest in TV like Blue's Clues, but nothing major. He does love to turn pages in books and to touch colorful pictures.
He is a master at picking up pieces of food or puffs now, we just need to get better at giving him the opportunity. Any time he sees Anna, whether at school or out, they both hold each other's hand and squeal and try to pull each other over. Anna also steals his toys, but whatev.
We took a trip to Missouri to visit my aunt and grandparents. He did well, but we can tell that long car trips are not his favorite. Everyone loved seeing him and he got spoiled rotten! We've also been going to the neighborhood park with baby swings and he adores that. He's bathing in the big boy tub and loves diving for bubbles.
He's outgrowing his clothes left and right. Loves to bounce. Started to dance and sway to music, which is funny because I think it's innate in kids. We haven't really taught him dancing he seems to have just picked up on it! It's beyond adorable.
So, there's your update on Colt. He's more fun every day, growing like a weed. Must start taking video of his babbles, his dances, his laughs, etc. And I'll attempt to be a better blogger soon.
On the pregnancy front, everything looks good, we heard the heartbeat again last week and scheduled our BIG ultrasound for September 22nd. The doctor says in about 2 more weeks or so I will regain the energy I've lost and I pray that's the case!
Our house has been a hotbed for sickness, Colt battling both tonsillitis and hand, foot and mouth disease in is little as two weeks. This has made him the grumpiest we've ever seen him, though we still enjoy excessive laughs and kisses! Add my physical exhaustion and overall icky feeling and you can tell John has his hands full.
Colt is now 8 months and 1 week old. I was just staring at him yesterday and realizing how crazy big he is. Especially his hands and feet. He's just grown into a little boy, not a baby anymore!
He's not crawling yet, though he's THIS close. I'm not sure he'll ever do much more than scooting as those chubby thighs make it hard to get up on all fours! You'll notice in the "fire chief" picture below, he sits with his ankles crossed. All the time!
Just in the last few days he has started greeting us after sleep and naps by being on his tummy in the crib, his head poked up over the side when he hears the door. He's also grabbing on to the bumpers for support and we know it's just a matter of days before we will need to lower his crib!
Still no teeth! We've loved missing the teething grumpiness, but really want the kid to eat steak one day so we're hoping for a tooth here or there soon...the gummy smiles are awfully cute in the meantime!
He says "dada" now, though it's more like babbling than really identifying Dada. "Dada, baba, gaga" are his favorites and I could listen to it all day.
I've mentioned the open mouth, sloppy, magical kisses he gives when we pucker for him, right? They are heavenly.
He is LOVING watching Faith, our cat. Any chance he sees her and he stops, reaches and laughs and laughs. She doesn't come close enough for him to grab her, but she sure loves to parade in front of him! It's fun to see him recognize and want things across a room.
He definitely is reaching for us, lifts his hands when we go to pick him up and dives for us when he's in other's arms. We're finding a little interest in TV like Blue's Clues, but nothing major. He does love to turn pages in books and to touch colorful pictures.
He is a master at picking up pieces of food or puffs now, we just need to get better at giving him the opportunity. Any time he sees Anna, whether at school or out, they both hold each other's hand and squeal and try to pull each other over. Anna also steals his toys, but whatev.
We took a trip to Missouri to visit my aunt and grandparents. He did well, but we can tell that long car trips are not his favorite. Everyone loved seeing him and he got spoiled rotten! We've also been going to the neighborhood park with baby swings and he adores that. He's bathing in the big boy tub and loves diving for bubbles.
He's outgrowing his clothes left and right. Loves to bounce. Started to dance and sway to music, which is funny because I think it's innate in kids. We haven't really taught him dancing he seems to have just picked up on it! It's beyond adorable.
So, there's your update on Colt. He's more fun every day, growing like a weed. Must start taking video of his babbles, his dances, his laughs, etc. And I'll attempt to be a better blogger soon.
On the pregnancy front, everything looks good, we heard the heartbeat again last week and scheduled our BIG ultrasound for September 22nd. The doctor says in about 2 more weeks or so I will regain the energy I've lost and I pray that's the case!
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Stuck with us!
It's been an emotional week on many levels. I won't go into it all, because what happened earlier in the week doesn't matter and it's water under the bridge after the news we got today:
We have a court date!!!!
As of September 1st at 10:00 a.m., Colt will be stuck with us as parents FOREVER. I mean, he's been stuck with us in every emotional and physical way since the first phone call we got on October 2nd, 2008. But this will mean LEGALLY he will be ours. I can't wait to have that weight off our shoulders...to know that nothing will ever take him away from us (even though, the possibility of anything taking him away was so minute...still, it's a relief).
That means that we will be his parents in every way you can slice it. So when he's 13 and grounded for texting too many people...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
When he turns 16 and he's too grounded to get his driver's license because he stayed out past curfew...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
When he's 18 and tells us he wants to go to some college like Oklahoma State or the University of Texas and we refuse to pay for it because it's not OU? Too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
And all those moments before the teen years when he's having a blast at his birthday parties, when he skins his knee and needs band-aids and kisses, when he is too sick to get out of bed and needs his mom and dad to crawl in with him, when he hits a home run in Little League, when he learns to sing "Boomer Sooner", when he teaches his little brother or sister how to walk, when he tortures our cat Faith with love, when he stays up too late at sleepovers, when he gets his new bike from Santa, when he straps on his backpack for the first day of kindergarten, when he says memory verses in Bible School, and as he keeps giving wet, sloppy, open mouth kisses like he's doing now....well, he's stuck with us then too.
What a blessing God has allowed us to raise. Hopefully he'll be glad to be stuck with us forever...because our life just isn't complete without him!
**I have to take just a moment and thank our fabulous attorney, Rachel Stoddard Morris. She stepped in very quickly to take over our case and got this secured. She's fabulous, and one of the things I'll do as long as I can is talk about her, spread the good news, and get her name out there! She's a fabulous family attorney if you need anything and a very fast worker...she got our case Monday night!! Thanks Rachel!**
We have a court date!!!!
As of September 1st at 10:00 a.m., Colt will be stuck with us as parents FOREVER. I mean, he's been stuck with us in every emotional and physical way since the first phone call we got on October 2nd, 2008. But this will mean LEGALLY he will be ours. I can't wait to have that weight off our shoulders...to know that nothing will ever take him away from us (even though, the possibility of anything taking him away was so minute...still, it's a relief).
That means that we will be his parents in every way you can slice it. So when he's 13 and grounded for texting too many people...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
When he turns 16 and he's too grounded to get his driver's license because he stayed out past curfew...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
When he's 18 and tells us he wants to go to some college like Oklahoma State or the University of Texas and we refuse to pay for it because it's not OU? Too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!
And all those moments before the teen years when he's having a blast at his birthday parties, when he skins his knee and needs band-aids and kisses, when he is too sick to get out of bed and needs his mom and dad to crawl in with him, when he hits a home run in Little League, when he learns to sing "Boomer Sooner", when he teaches his little brother or sister how to walk, when he tortures our cat Faith with love, when he stays up too late at sleepovers, when he gets his new bike from Santa, when he straps on his backpack for the first day of kindergarten, when he says memory verses in Bible School, and as he keeps giving wet, sloppy, open mouth kisses like he's doing now....well, he's stuck with us then too.
What a blessing God has allowed us to raise. Hopefully he'll be glad to be stuck with us forever...because our life just isn't complete without him!
**I have to take just a moment and thank our fabulous attorney, Rachel Stoddard Morris. She stepped in very quickly to take over our case and got this secured. She's fabulous, and one of the things I'll do as long as I can is talk about her, spread the good news, and get her name out there! She's a fabulous family attorney if you need anything and a very fast worker...she got our case Monday night!! Thanks Rachel!**
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
In Defense of Daycare
I don't know why I feel compelled to say this: but I LOVE Colt's daycare.
You guys know daycare is one of those age-old things in mommy world we use to judge each other on, along with breastfeeding, working or staying at home, TV, organic food, cloth diapers, extracurricular activities, etc., etc., etc.
However, I think daycare gets a bad rap for the most part.
First of all, there's the whole piece to the argument that for some people, it's the ONLY option. Single parents or low-income families may not have a choice in the matter, they must work outside the home and have to put their children in daycare. So, if for no other reason than to support those who do not have a choice, I think everyone should open their eyes and realize what a blessing daycare can be.
But there's a whole other side of the argument that for some, it's simply a great option for their family. We LOVE Colt's daycare. We love the things he learns there, the kids he gets to play with. He has consistently exceeded developmental milestones up to this point. He has done so well in Bible class and anywhere in public that we take him because he's used to being around other kids. He is showered with love by his teachers.
As a first-time parent, I have personally felt a great deal of support from daycare to help me know what to do next, to help me with ideas of how to get him well when he's sick, even something as simple as when to move to the next diaper size. Would I have figured that out on my own? Yes. But I see it as a fantastic benefit to our situation and having the teachers and directors there support us has made parenting much easier.
I do know that not every daycare situation is like that. There are horror stories out there, I know. But we did research to find the perfect place, we found a place with family that came highly recommended, we have friends who trust their children to the center's care as well and that helps to keep us grounded, too. So I know it's all about finding the RIGHT daycare.
I just wanted to stick up for daycare. For a lot of families it's not just a necessity, it's a true blessing and if one of us were to lose our jobs, we would give up a lot of other things before even considering giving up Colt's daycare. The stability, love, support, and development they are giving to our family is a much greater need than providing us with a babysitting service. I dare say I'd give up cable before giving up daycare. And that, my friends, is saying a lot.
You guys know daycare is one of those age-old things in mommy world we use to judge each other on, along with breastfeeding, working or staying at home, TV, organic food, cloth diapers, extracurricular activities, etc., etc., etc.
However, I think daycare gets a bad rap for the most part.
First of all, there's the whole piece to the argument that for some people, it's the ONLY option. Single parents or low-income families may not have a choice in the matter, they must work outside the home and have to put their children in daycare. So, if for no other reason than to support those who do not have a choice, I think everyone should open their eyes and realize what a blessing daycare can be.
But there's a whole other side of the argument that for some, it's simply a great option for their family. We LOVE Colt's daycare. We love the things he learns there, the kids he gets to play with. He has consistently exceeded developmental milestones up to this point. He has done so well in Bible class and anywhere in public that we take him because he's used to being around other kids. He is showered with love by his teachers.
As a first-time parent, I have personally felt a great deal of support from daycare to help me know what to do next, to help me with ideas of how to get him well when he's sick, even something as simple as when to move to the next diaper size. Would I have figured that out on my own? Yes. But I see it as a fantastic benefit to our situation and having the teachers and directors there support us has made parenting much easier.
I do know that not every daycare situation is like that. There are horror stories out there, I know. But we did research to find the perfect place, we found a place with family that came highly recommended, we have friends who trust their children to the center's care as well and that helps to keep us grounded, too. So I know it's all about finding the RIGHT daycare.
I just wanted to stick up for daycare. For a lot of families it's not just a necessity, it's a true blessing and if one of us were to lose our jobs, we would give up a lot of other things before even considering giving up Colt's daycare. The stability, love, support, and development they are giving to our family is a much greater need than providing us with a babysitting service. I dare say I'd give up cable before giving up daycare. And that, my friends, is saying a lot.
Monday, August 03, 2009
28
Sometimes, after spending hours on the phone dealing with health insurance claims, paying medical bill after medical bill, talking to various attorneys, and preparing to see negative balances in our savings account it occurs to me...being 28 can really suck sometimes.
Today is a "glass-half-empty" kind of day so I won't go into all the things that really rock about being 28. Today I'm just going to dwell on how much it sucks to be 28; to be an adult. I think we all need those days every now and then.
Today is a "glass-half-empty" kind of day so I won't go into all the things that really rock about being 28. Today I'm just going to dwell on how much it sucks to be 28; to be an adult. I think we all need those days every now and then.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Belated Thanks!
I am overwhelmed with all the support and well-wishes from the last post and Facebook announcements. It's been awesome, you guys have almost convinced me that we can survive having two kids 14 months apart!
Kidding, kidding...really, all the encouragement has been awesome. Isn't that why we put ourselves out there in blogland? Because, really, we all want are virtual hugs and kisses. Our families are so excited, which is good since they will have to practically take turns living with us for a while to get us through the newborn stage. Because I'll be honest...newborn is NOT my favorite stage. Sure, they're all fuzzy and warm and snuggly and smell good. But they cry a lot and are delicate and don't sleep at night.
Colt is at a perfect age. But I've pretty much said that since 3 months. It seriously just gets better and better! He's so much fun right now. And I've already started a VERY bad habit, the ONE AND ONLY bad habit I SWORE I'd never let happen...sleeping in our bed. Oh, geez, I can't believe I just admitted it. That's the first step, right?
It's just naps right now. And mostly it's because I love it and I need lots of naps right now. We come home from daycare and he needs a little nap so I'll crawl in bed with him and he goes right to sleep and it's the best cuddle time. And Saturdays...well, for the past few that's how we spend EVERY nap. I start to count down the minutes to when we can take naps because I love it so much.
But then...then on Sunday night/Monday morning he woke up at 5 a.m. crying and wouldn't stop. And so we did the unthinkable. We brought him into bed with us and he calmed down right away and went back to sleep. And my mom kept him last night and said he woke up at 3 a.m. crying and she put him in bed with her and he calmed right down and went to sleep. HE'S TRICKED US. HE DID IT...sneaky little bugger, he tricked us before we even realized it.
So, this is me...admitting it openly and taking back control. It is the ONE thing I don't want to happen. I don't want to give up nap time, because really I do need a lot of naps so why not take them together? But we will NOT start the middle of the night thing. No way, no how.
Also, he does this thing where he looks for us. He follows us as we walk out of the room and he leans over and turns his head...it is SO cute. I will have to video this sometime because there is no describing the cuteness.
-----------------
In other news, in case you're not on Facebook you missed the drama of yesterday where I thought I was dying. I woke up and thought I was finally getting hit with morning sickness. But it was so severe and there were...other symptoms I quickly realized this was more than morning sickness.
After trying in vain to get ahold of my OBGYN all day (Ha! Right! Try getting ahold of your OBGYN on a Monday!) I decided I had to go to the hospital. Normally I would have waited it out, but I have a MAJOR business trip in Chicago this week. FOUR days that I cannot miss. Like, seriously cannot miss. So John and I headed to the ER and as we were getting checked in and dreading the 2+ hour wait, my OBGYN's office called and told me to head straight to labor and delivery and they would take care of me there. Which they did!
Normally you have to be around 20 weeks but it must have been a slow day on the floor because they already had a room ready for me. They got me hooked up to an IV (which, of course, caused me to throw up because I am a weenie...giving birth is going to be awesome) and I received 2 bags of fluids plus awesome drugs to help with nausea and other symptoms.
I ached by the time I got home, drank some chicken soup and passed out. I woke up in time to pack and get to the airport this morning. Somehow I managed a flight and a 90-minute train ride and a meet-and-greet before settling in. Now I'm signing off before a day of meetings tomorrow. Fun times. Missing my baby like crazy...I bet I'd sleep a lot better if he were cuddled up next to me.
So bad.
Kidding, kidding...really, all the encouragement has been awesome. Isn't that why we put ourselves out there in blogland? Because, really, we all want are virtual hugs and kisses. Our families are so excited, which is good since they will have to practically take turns living with us for a while to get us through the newborn stage. Because I'll be honest...newborn is NOT my favorite stage. Sure, they're all fuzzy and warm and snuggly and smell good. But they cry a lot and are delicate and don't sleep at night.
Colt is at a perfect age. But I've pretty much said that since 3 months. It seriously just gets better and better! He's so much fun right now. And I've already started a VERY bad habit, the ONE AND ONLY bad habit I SWORE I'd never let happen...sleeping in our bed. Oh, geez, I can't believe I just admitted it. That's the first step, right?
It's just naps right now. And mostly it's because I love it and I need lots of naps right now. We come home from daycare and he needs a little nap so I'll crawl in bed with him and he goes right to sleep and it's the best cuddle time. And Saturdays...well, for the past few that's how we spend EVERY nap. I start to count down the minutes to when we can take naps because I love it so much.
But then...then on Sunday night/Monday morning he woke up at 5 a.m. crying and wouldn't stop. And so we did the unthinkable. We brought him into bed with us and he calmed down right away and went back to sleep. And my mom kept him last night and said he woke up at 3 a.m. crying and she put him in bed with her and he calmed right down and went to sleep. HE'S TRICKED US. HE DID IT...sneaky little bugger, he tricked us before we even realized it.
So, this is me...admitting it openly and taking back control. It is the ONE thing I don't want to happen. I don't want to give up nap time, because really I do need a lot of naps so why not take them together? But we will NOT start the middle of the night thing. No way, no how.
Also, he does this thing where he looks for us. He follows us as we walk out of the room and he leans over and turns his head...it is SO cute. I will have to video this sometime because there is no describing the cuteness.
-----------------
In other news, in case you're not on Facebook you missed the drama of yesterday where I thought I was dying. I woke up and thought I was finally getting hit with morning sickness. But it was so severe and there were...other symptoms I quickly realized this was more than morning sickness.
After trying in vain to get ahold of my OBGYN all day (Ha! Right! Try getting ahold of your OBGYN on a Monday!) I decided I had to go to the hospital. Normally I would have waited it out, but I have a MAJOR business trip in Chicago this week. FOUR days that I cannot miss. Like, seriously cannot miss. So John and I headed to the ER and as we were getting checked in and dreading the 2+ hour wait, my OBGYN's office called and told me to head straight to labor and delivery and they would take care of me there. Which they did!
Normally you have to be around 20 weeks but it must have been a slow day on the floor because they already had a room ready for me. They got me hooked up to an IV (which, of course, caused me to throw up because I am a weenie...giving birth is going to be awesome) and I received 2 bags of fluids plus awesome drugs to help with nausea and other symptoms.
I ached by the time I got home, drank some chicken soup and passed out. I woke up in time to pack and get to the airport this morning. Somehow I managed a flight and a 90-minute train ride and a meet-and-greet before settling in. Now I'm signing off before a day of meetings tomorrow. Fun times. Missing my baby like crazy...I bet I'd sleep a lot better if he were cuddled up next to me.
So bad.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Unexpected
I will tell you there are two things that are annoying to me.
First, as "an infertile" I have always been annoyed with people who have these unexpected or accidental pregnancies. There is nothing worse than trying for year after heartbreaking year to have a baby and listen to people complain and be shocked at an unplanned pregnancy. "We weren't trying" and "we were taking precautions and they didn't work". How fair is life, really, that it happens that way?
I love you, all my friends who have unexpected children! But it's that part of me that tried and tried and wished and hoped and prayed that would get so annoyed (i.e.-jealous) at pregnancy announcements.
The second thing that can be pretty annoying comes to me through another experience, that of an adoptive parent. An adoptive parent after infertility will hear no less than 6,487 times "just you wait - you'll adopt and then you'll get pregnant". And these well-meaning comments come from very supportive, loving friends and family and it's never meant in a bad way. Usually there is a story to back it up, but I can tell you it doesn't do much to make the pain of infertility go away.
We infertiles are incredibly sensitive in case you didn't know.
The truth is that under 10% of couples who adopt after infertility go on to get pregnant. In fact, watch this news story where they say "it is so uncommon, it is newsworthy when it happens". Less than 10% ever become pregnant after adopting a baby. So essentially, by telling an infertile or adopting couple that they will get pregnant after bringing a baby home is doing exactly the opposite of what most are trying to do: it's giving false hope.
It just doesn't happen very often. Not as often as you may think.
----------------------------
So I guess all of this is really building up to a whole other announcement. One that I've been struggling with, that has brought many tears, several near-panic attacks and a tremendous amount of guilt.
I'm pregnant.
As annoying as it may sound (because believe me, I've been annoyed) it was completely and totally a shock, unplanned, unexpected, totally out of our minds. Nothing we ever imagined would happen and certainly nothing we imagined would happen so soon after bringing our precious son home. Infertility often makes you skeptical and pessimistic, even after being blessed with SO much hope and promise in adoption.
There is still a looooooong way to go. A lot of things that could happen. But I'm finding myself crying less about selfish reasons like I did the first few days, but worrying more about the health of a baby I'm already attached to. Yesterday we went to the doctor to have everything confirmed and for the first time I had an ultrasound not to check follicle sizes on my ovaries, but to measure the size of an 8-week-old baby. And then the galloping sound of a strong, pounding heartbeat flashed and it was like living in a movie.
John and I are both still reduced to tears at one thought: we won't have the time with Colt as our only that we'd so desperately wanted. Every single time I think about that I tear up and I regret our very flippant decision to not get on birth control. He is an absolute joy and I want to shower him with love and affection and 100% attention forever because he deserves it. I can't even fathom how I will love another baby as much as I love him, I can't fathom how I can share attention, I can't fathom how I will get through this and not let Colt down.
So please feel free, all you mothers of multiple children, leave a comment reassuring me that I CAN love more than one. Please reassure me that I CAN devote time and attention to two babies. Tell me how much Colt will love having a sibling so close in age. Tell me how much fun it will be. How the hard work will be worth it. How the diapers will be plentiful, but a much shorter timeframe. Tell me that my kids will love me despite my exhaustion, how they will know no different. Please feel free to tell me all of that because right now, at this point, I cannot hear it enough.
I can't get tired of hearing how I WILL survive 2 babies 14 months apart.
So, there you go. I hesitate to complain or feel sorry for myself because I do realize what a blessing this is. I don't know if it's the shock of it all, or if it's that part of me that will always be "infertile"...never believing this can really happen and feeling guilty that it has.
I am amazed at God's unfailing love and blessings. For so long we'd been told nothing was wrong with us, and clearly nothing is. But HE knew. He knew there was a 16-year-old girl out there who needed us. He knew our son was out there and the only way to find him was to walk a broken, bumpy, beautiful road. God has always been in control of completing our family and here we are, so quickly moving from 2 of us to 3 to 4. We are blessed beyond measure and thankful God has put the lives of two babies in our hands to care for and raise.
February 24th is so far away, yet right around the corner.
First, as "an infertile" I have always been annoyed with people who have these unexpected or accidental pregnancies. There is nothing worse than trying for year after heartbreaking year to have a baby and listen to people complain and be shocked at an unplanned pregnancy. "We weren't trying" and "we were taking precautions and they didn't work". How fair is life, really, that it happens that way?
I love you, all my friends who have unexpected children! But it's that part of me that tried and tried and wished and hoped and prayed that would get so annoyed (i.e.-jealous) at pregnancy announcements.
The second thing that can be pretty annoying comes to me through another experience, that of an adoptive parent. An adoptive parent after infertility will hear no less than 6,487 times "just you wait - you'll adopt and then you'll get pregnant". And these well-meaning comments come from very supportive, loving friends and family and it's never meant in a bad way. Usually there is a story to back it up, but I can tell you it doesn't do much to make the pain of infertility go away.
We infertiles are incredibly sensitive in case you didn't know.
The truth is that under 10% of couples who adopt after infertility go on to get pregnant. In fact, watch this news story where they say "it is so uncommon, it is newsworthy when it happens". Less than 10% ever become pregnant after adopting a baby. So essentially, by telling an infertile or adopting couple that they will get pregnant after bringing a baby home is doing exactly the opposite of what most are trying to do: it's giving false hope.
It just doesn't happen very often. Not as often as you may think.
----------------------------
So I guess all of this is really building up to a whole other announcement. One that I've been struggling with, that has brought many tears, several near-panic attacks and a tremendous amount of guilt.
I'm pregnant.
As annoying as it may sound (because believe me, I've been annoyed) it was completely and totally a shock, unplanned, unexpected, totally out of our minds. Nothing we ever imagined would happen and certainly nothing we imagined would happen so soon after bringing our precious son home. Infertility often makes you skeptical and pessimistic, even after being blessed with SO much hope and promise in adoption.
There is still a looooooong way to go. A lot of things that could happen. But I'm finding myself crying less about selfish reasons like I did the first few days, but worrying more about the health of a baby I'm already attached to. Yesterday we went to the doctor to have everything confirmed and for the first time I had an ultrasound not to check follicle sizes on my ovaries, but to measure the size of an 8-week-old baby. And then the galloping sound of a strong, pounding heartbeat flashed and it was like living in a movie.
John and I are both still reduced to tears at one thought: we won't have the time with Colt as our only that we'd so desperately wanted. Every single time I think about that I tear up and I regret our very flippant decision to not get on birth control. He is an absolute joy and I want to shower him with love and affection and 100% attention forever because he deserves it. I can't even fathom how I will love another baby as much as I love him, I can't fathom how I can share attention, I can't fathom how I will get through this and not let Colt down.
So please feel free, all you mothers of multiple children, leave a comment reassuring me that I CAN love more than one. Please reassure me that I CAN devote time and attention to two babies. Tell me how much Colt will love having a sibling so close in age. Tell me how much fun it will be. How the hard work will be worth it. How the diapers will be plentiful, but a much shorter timeframe. Tell me that my kids will love me despite my exhaustion, how they will know no different. Please feel free to tell me all of that because right now, at this point, I cannot hear it enough.
I can't get tired of hearing how I WILL survive 2 babies 14 months apart.
So, there you go. I hesitate to complain or feel sorry for myself because I do realize what a blessing this is. I don't know if it's the shock of it all, or if it's that part of me that will always be "infertile"...never believing this can really happen and feeling guilty that it has.
I am amazed at God's unfailing love and blessings. For so long we'd been told nothing was wrong with us, and clearly nothing is. But HE knew. He knew there was a 16-year-old girl out there who needed us. He knew our son was out there and the only way to find him was to walk a broken, bumpy, beautiful road. God has always been in control of completing our family and here we are, so quickly moving from 2 of us to 3 to 4. We are blessed beyond measure and thankful God has put the lives of two babies in our hands to care for and raise.
February 24th is so far away, yet right around the corner.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Professional Photos
Finally got those professional photos we'd been hoping for! So many to choose from, but we got a few great ones. Here are a few examples!
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Open Adoption Wish List
Heather at Production not Reproduction has posted the third forum for the Open Adoption Roundtable. This time we're to discuss our wish lists for our open adoptions.
I didn't participate in the last one, which was about the birth father. I've been kind of quiet about Colt's birth father because for 1) there's not a lot we know about him, but 2) there is a story there that we have to keep close for Colt's protection. I certainly wouldn't say he's a bad guy, because I don't know him and we didn't even find out his first name until recently. What I do know is that we are eternally grateful to him. One day I know Colt will be curious, so I hope we can find out more.
In the meantime, the personality traits we're seeing in Colt reflect so much of N, his birthmother: laid back, easy-going, generally happy, strong tolerance for pain, tough spirit. I hope some of it comes from us and the environment he's in...but we definitely don't look at him and wonder where he gets his sweet spirit from!
So, in the meantime what are my wish lists for this open adoption?
1) That we can build a healthy, perfect relationship with N. One that's easy, natural, and positive for everyone involved.
2) That N can accomplish all she dreamed for herself. So much of why she made the decision for an adoption plan was because she wanted more for her life than what being a single teen mom would provide. I pray that she can realize those dreams so that her decision will have meaning for her. I know Colt will be proud of her either way, but I sure hope it turns out like she hopes. I have this dream sometimes that we can attend her nursing school graduation and Colt is a little older and runs to hug her in her cap and gown. So when she sees him, and sees all she's accomplished she knows all that pain and hard work and tough decisions were worth it. I don't know if it will happen, but I pray about it a lot.
3) That Colt will always think of us as his parents. It's that selfish feeling that comes up for all adoptive parents. I want him to have a relationship with N, I want him to love and respect her and honor her. But at the end of the day I wish and hope that when he sees me he always sees me as Mommy.
4) That someday we can adopt a sibling for Colt, so that he doesn't have to put up with us by himself forever! And to have someone who knows this experience inside and out like he does.
5) That our experience changes the hearts and minds of people we touch. That everyone we know now knows someone who has adopted. In an open adoption. Not only lived through it, but waded through it gracefully. I pray we are the examples God wants us to be, that people look at us and see his perfect love and plan for bringing families together.
6) That no one ever refers to Colt as our "adopted son". That he's just our son. And this is something I need to work on. It's not that I throw that out there as a qualifier, I do it more because I love, love, love telling our story and talking about our agency and about N. But I know how fiercely protective I am of anyone referring to him as our "adopted son" as if he's any less our son because we adopted...therefore I need to protect our story a little more in everyday conversation. That's a strange line to have to walk.
7) That adoption is not weird, not a reason for therapy or endless behavioral excuses. That it's just part of Colt's birth story. That it's natural and positive and simply means he's surrounded by more love than he knows what to do with.
It's kind of an exhaustive wish list, but I'll work hard to make it happen!
I didn't participate in the last one, which was about the birth father. I've been kind of quiet about Colt's birth father because for 1) there's not a lot we know about him, but 2) there is a story there that we have to keep close for Colt's protection. I certainly wouldn't say he's a bad guy, because I don't know him and we didn't even find out his first name until recently. What I do know is that we are eternally grateful to him. One day I know Colt will be curious, so I hope we can find out more.
In the meantime, the personality traits we're seeing in Colt reflect so much of N, his birthmother: laid back, easy-going, generally happy, strong tolerance for pain, tough spirit. I hope some of it comes from us and the environment he's in...but we definitely don't look at him and wonder where he gets his sweet spirit from!
So, in the meantime what are my wish lists for this open adoption?
1) That we can build a healthy, perfect relationship with N. One that's easy, natural, and positive for everyone involved.
2) That N can accomplish all she dreamed for herself. So much of why she made the decision for an adoption plan was because she wanted more for her life than what being a single teen mom would provide. I pray that she can realize those dreams so that her decision will have meaning for her. I know Colt will be proud of her either way, but I sure hope it turns out like she hopes. I have this dream sometimes that we can attend her nursing school graduation and Colt is a little older and runs to hug her in her cap and gown. So when she sees him, and sees all she's accomplished she knows all that pain and hard work and tough decisions were worth it. I don't know if it will happen, but I pray about it a lot.
3) That Colt will always think of us as his parents. It's that selfish feeling that comes up for all adoptive parents. I want him to have a relationship with N, I want him to love and respect her and honor her. But at the end of the day I wish and hope that when he sees me he always sees me as Mommy.
4) That someday we can adopt a sibling for Colt, so that he doesn't have to put up with us by himself forever! And to have someone who knows this experience inside and out like he does.
5) That our experience changes the hearts and minds of people we touch. That everyone we know now knows someone who has adopted. In an open adoption. Not only lived through it, but waded through it gracefully. I pray we are the examples God wants us to be, that people look at us and see his perfect love and plan for bringing families together.
6) That no one ever refers to Colt as our "adopted son". That he's just our son. And this is something I need to work on. It's not that I throw that out there as a qualifier, I do it more because I love, love, love telling our story and talking about our agency and about N. But I know how fiercely protective I am of anyone referring to him as our "adopted son" as if he's any less our son because we adopted...therefore I need to protect our story a little more in everyday conversation. That's a strange line to have to walk.
7) That adoption is not weird, not a reason for therapy or endless behavioral excuses. That it's just part of Colt's birth story. That it's natural and positive and simply means he's surrounded by more love than he knows what to do with.
It's kind of an exhaustive wish list, but I'll work hard to make it happen!
Monday, July 06, 2009
The Fourth
There were no shortage of photo opportunities this weekend, no fewer than 4 patriotic outfits the 6-month-old wore (only 1 that Mommy washed every night and rewore to every event). We swam, we cooked out, Daddy set off fireworks, we paraded, we played outside, we played inside, we napped A LOT, we ate baked beans EVERY DAY. It was an eventful weekend that pushed this little man to the edge and back.
But the camera just wasn't used like it should have been. So what you see is about the extent of the photographic evidence of a really exhausting, super fun weekend. We even had to pass up some super fun parties because there was just so much to do and Colt was just so worn out! But I can say, he is proud to be an American and very happy to celebrate Independence Day.
By next year we'll have him saluting soldiers in the parade and waving sparklers on the back porch. And eating more baked beans.
But the camera just wasn't used like it should have been. So what you see is about the extent of the photographic evidence of a really exhausting, super fun weekend. We even had to pass up some super fun parties because there was just so much to do and Colt was just so worn out! But I can say, he is proud to be an American and very happy to celebrate Independence Day.
By next year we'll have him saluting soldiers in the parade and waving sparklers on the back porch. And eating more baked beans.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Waterbugs
One of the best things about Colt sitting up by himself all the time is that bath time is soooooo much easier now! And he seems to like splashing around, so naturally I looked forward to getting him into a pool.
And even though POOL means that I have to get into a bathing suit, I SO wanted him to like it. I found this adorable Giraffe swimming pool at the giant cheap retailer of choice (that I love to hate and hate to love) for only TEN dollars! Anna's parents had a dryer out of commission so we were a regular working laundromat for them and thought Anna might enjoy her first pool experience that night, too.
Luckily, we have two MAJOR waterbugs on our hands! They LOVED the pool, both laughed and splashed and kicked in the water. We realized after the sun was setting the water was getting very cold and neither was complaining. They just played with each other's feet in the water and the toys on the side. Eventually we brought them in for warm baths (separate, of course, what do you think we're teaching these kids?!) and they conked out not long after.
Also, visit Anna's blog for a funny video where you can hear my son's ewok laugh. It is HILARIOUS. Like a nervous laugh, but also a laugh when he's REALLY tickled!
Tomorrow we're headed to a BIG KID pool to float around and really have some fun. In the meantime, this is a pretty fun backyard alternative! Enjoy!
And even though POOL means that I have to get into a bathing suit, I SO wanted him to like it. I found this adorable Giraffe swimming pool at the giant cheap retailer of choice (that I love to hate and hate to love) for only TEN dollars! Anna's parents had a dryer out of commission so we were a regular working laundromat for them and thought Anna might enjoy her first pool experience that night, too.
Luckily, we have two MAJOR waterbugs on our hands! They LOVED the pool, both laughed and splashed and kicked in the water. We realized after the sun was setting the water was getting very cold and neither was complaining. They just played with each other's feet in the water and the toys on the side. Eventually we brought them in for warm baths (separate, of course, what do you think we're teaching these kids?!) and they conked out not long after.
Also, visit Anna's blog for a funny video where you can hear my son's ewok laugh. It is HILARIOUS. Like a nervous laugh, but also a laugh when he's REALLY tickled!
Tomorrow we're headed to a BIG KID pool to float around and really have some fun. In the meantime, this is a pretty fun backyard alternative! Enjoy!
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