Parties for a Little Monkey!

For a 10-month-old, Colt sure had A LOT of social obligations for Halloween that required the costume. Luckily, the monkey costume wasn't terribly cumbersome! He didn't LOVE it, but he never cried in it or fought us on it.

First was our church's fall festival (bottom pictures). Then he had Trick-or-Treating AND a Halloween party at daycare. Finally, we made the rounds to a few grandparent's houses on Halloween night to get some goodies (including some Puffs instead of candy!).

It was fun, but kind of exhausting! I loved his costume, though. He looked SO cute, and the stuffed belly was the best! Made him look even more squishy than usual! I accidentally left his brown onesie at school on Friday, which is why he had green on Halloween night. Regardless, I think he was pretty adorable.

John and I have always called him our little monkey, because for some reason when he was born he had a lot of clothes with monkeys on them. So the costume was perfect...Halloween is fun again!

Pumpkin Patch

So we did, in fact, go to the Pumpkin Patch. It was a fun activity, will be A LOT more fun when he can run around and pet the animals and we don't have to get him in and out of a stroller! By the time we were done, we had a couple of worn out kids on our hands!

We took his friend, Anna, which I think he loved. They are in the same class at daycare and are just inseperable. It's cute to see babies with such good friends already! We got a few pumpkins to take home with us, and they were a great background to his true masterpiece: the pumpkin he painted himself at school. I took a lot of pictures of it, since we won't be able to keep that...I was proud!

Do you not want to just eat him up? He's pretty squeezable!

Sooner Trio

So after Labor Day weekend I lost my digital camera. FINALLY after tearing up our bedroom on Sunday I found it under the bed. I was determined that I would find it, as we were going to the Pumpkin Patch on Sunday and EVERYONE knows the only reason you take babies to the Pumpkin Patch is for obligatory photos with hay bales and pumpkins. Otherwise, what a waste of a trip!

So I found it. But it meant that I missed an entire month of documenting our son's life in pictures. I'm terrible, I know and he'll probably NEVER forgive me for leaving out most of his 9th month. In the meantime while I'm uploading said obligatory hay bale and pumpkin pictures, enjoy this adorable photo of Colt and his BFF's, Anna and Van at the OU/Texas game this past Saturday. They make the heartbreaking losses a little easier to deal with.

I CAN tell you they are teaching us valuable lessons in what we say when watching a football game. Turns out "crap", "sucks", and "pissed off" aren't really what you'd call "cleaning up your language"...John and I have a long way to go, sigh. We thought we were making progress with this vice!

Van plays the role of Big Brother to these two very well. They LOVE watching him and keeping up with him. Colt wanted to follow him around all day and Anna stared lovingly at him all day as he ran around and performed for everyone. It's fun to see them with someone who's not too much older, but just old enough to be cool...

Recapping the call

I didn't mean to wait so long to update! Sorry for leaving some of you hanging about the call with N on Wednesday.

It went SO well. We spoke for 30 minutes and it was comfortable, sweet, and just really reassuring. I was really amazed at how SHE was putting ME at ease and her maturity level was so high during the call. Especially because I was nervous when we first started talking and I just started spouting random pieces of info about Colt and laughing this really weird nervous laugh. She was patient and listened, then brought me back around to what the call was really about. Thinking back on it, I'm just really impressed.

She told me that when she first read my letter that we were expecting a baby, she started to cry because she was so scared that it meant things would change. Our feelings would Colt would somehow be lessened with the addition of a biological baby. But you could tell she already KNEW that wasn't the case, the logic was telling her that it would be no different. But her heart just wanted to hear me say it.

It's important to stop here and let you know I didn't cry one time during the call. Go Me!

Remember how I said in the last post that her family landscape was changing? I think it's ok to go ahead and say what that means because it's pretty crazy actually. She's getting married next weekend...and she's expecting a baby girl on March 6th, which is 12 days after our baby boy is due. There are so many things that have gone through my head on this one, but the one that stands out is that it makes me feel really at peace knowing that no matter where Colt was, he'd be a big brother at 14 months old.

She told me how nervous she was to tell me that she was pregnant again. I told her I thought it was funny that we were both so scared to tell each other basically the same news! And it's wonderful news, and it means more precious babies and we were both so scared.

We talked a lot about her fiance and how much he looks forward to seeing Colt's pictures and how excited he is to be a dad. We talked about getting together for our next visit. She said over and over how thankful she was to have contact, I told her how much we wanted to hear from her and stay in contact.

It was perfect.

Hopefully we'll go visit in the next month or so, as Colt gets closer to his one-year birthday. And now that we are both comfortable with direct contact, maybe we'll hear from her more often. She's pretty awesome.

So...the call went great! Thanks for your prayers!

N

So I haven't mentioned Colt's birthmother, N, in a long while. Mostly because our relationship has been pretty one-sided up to this point. Understandable, but it's brought about many emotions for me - especially lately.

The other day I was gathering up a new pack of pictures to send her and I was writing the letter. THE letter. The one where I told her we were pregnant. I can't even tell you how nervous I was to write that letter. I mean, it's just not something I TRULY prepared myself to have to write, even though there's a whole section about it in the adoption application with our agency. I can't remember the exact questions but it's basically along the lines of "How would you react if you were to have a biological child after adoption?". You answer, never believing you'll actually have to face it.

Anyway, I delayed writing the letter for probably a month. Once I finally wrote the letter, it felt like writing a confession. I won't go into it here, because it's between us, but I basically just told her that the pregnancy took us completely by surprise. I told her my biggest fear was that she would think we had misled her about our fertility problems. That she'd thinking we were less than honest. I was fearful she would be mad that Colt wouldn't have more time as our only child. And, ultimately, I didn't want her to think for one second that we would love him any less.

I sent the letter last week. Heard from our caseworker today that N called her last night. She was happy for us. But she was having some anxiety and was having trouble verbalizing what her fear really was. Ultimately, the short of it, she is just afraid that once the baby gets here we'll love Colt less. (TEARS, flowing, right now as I'm typing). T told her that she completely understood those fears, but she wanted to reassure her that she had spoken to both of us and that just wasn't the case. She shared with her some of our thoughts and fears, and that we loved Colt SO MUCH there was just no way we could love him any less.

N started to feel better, and told T that she believed her. But, she would feel a lot better if she could hear it from me directly. I didn't think twice before I blurted out "yes" when T asked if I would be willing to call her. I need to be able to talk to her about it as much as she needs to hear it. Letters just can't do that justice. We decided that I would call N from my cell phone directly and I'm very happy about that. We haven't had any direct contact with her since the day Colt was born and to have a line of communication like that means a lot.

So...I'm calling her in a little while. She has some MAJOR things going on in her life right now. Not sure I want to share here right now, but her family landscape is changing and we're happy for her. I can only pray that God gives me the right words and strength to convey my love for my son in a way that erases any fear from her mind. I think it may be the final thing I need to truly feel at peace with this pregnancy and to start feeling like it's an exciting thing. I've felt a lot of guilt and I'm hoping this helps alleviate some of that (I KNOW I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do so that's that).

So...prayers needed!

Don't look away!

So, remind me never to mention things on this blog that I'm not ready to happen. Like remember last post when I said Colt doesn't crawl and I'm not worried about it because he finds other ways to get around...well, Saturday morning Colt woke up and decided to crawl. Just like that. Like he'd laid in bed all night thinking about it and BOOM decided today was the day.

I was walking at the Race for the Cure with my mom and sister and John called to tell me he was pretty sure we had a crawler. As the weekend went on, he got stronger and stronger at it and is officially all over the place.

Oh, and that wasn't the end of it. He also decided that if he was going to crawl, he might as well start pulling up on everything. AND, why not go ahead and learn to crawl over the side of our crib? Because we wouldn't want to take our time with these things...no, it's much more fun to dive right in.

So we spent our weekend half cheering and showing off, half chasing him around pulling coins and pieces of trash out of his mouth that he crawled and magically found, and lowering the crib mattress. Our poor cat, Faith, is on edge because this THING is actually moving toward her...her poor little lazy life is about to be rocked once again.

He has bumps and bruises on his head where he's pulled up on things only to lose strength in his legs and tumble forward. But, you know, he is SO happy. He loves it, he loves the cheering and excitement we're showing every time he does some other adorable milestone.

Watching him peer through the slats of the crib last night made me very nostalgic and sad and happy all at the same time. In a matter of 48 hours he grew up. He's SO BIG. He does big boy things and he's so strong. He's not a little baby anymore and it's only going to get worse. He's only going to grow up faster and faster and I won't ever get this weekend back. I won't ever get this milestone and that day of discovery back...we'll just march forward to a new one.

How awesome and heartbreaking.

One boy, one special boy

I wanted to talk a little about Colt. I'm not great at the month-by-month update, but there are certain things about right now I want to remember! Rambling...

-He got his first tooth on September 21st, bottom right front. His second tooth arrived yesterday, October 7th in the middle of two awful ear infections and after a loooooong night of crying by all three Anderson's!
- He claps when we say "Yaaaaay!". In the morning I get him out of bed, we sit in the chair for a minute, and we wait for our cat Faith to come in the room (she always does). When she does, we say "There's the kitty, yaaaaay!". He lights up and starts clapping. It is THE. CUTEST. THING. EVER. No, seriously, the cutest thing ever.
- His hair grows faster than I can imagine. He got his third haircut at the tail end of August and he desperately needs his fourth. It is so thick and on top it starts to look like a toupee if it gets too long! But I love it, it's soft and makes him look so handsome.
- He HATES getting dressed. I mean, hates it. Hates getting undressed, hates getting new clothes on. It's not that he hates having clothes on and prefers to be naked...it's just he hates the physical act of clothes coming on and off. Every morning it's a fight to get ready for school and it wears me out. A couple of weeks ago, it was a particularly hard fight and I was sweating and out of breath from wrangling him. But the pants I put on him were too small and he looked ridiculous. They were too short and a little too tight...but I just took him to school anyway! I told him he was just going to look silly and that was the consequences. I told the teachers not to make fun of him, but I think they did and they ended up putting him in some of their shorts for the day because they felt so sorry for him! But I didn't...
- He is babbling all the time now. No real words, but he talks away like he knows just what he's saying. I have the best conversations with him.
- Sometimes when he gets up really early, I put him in our bathtub while I take a shower and get ready for the day. Kind of like a built-in playpen. However, now that he's starting to pull up I can no longer do that. Forget the potential head injuries on the marble tub edge...he can reach the faucets and the last thing I need is him to turn scalding hot water on himself while I'm washing shampoo out of my hair!
- He is starting to pull up, though he can't quite get his legs in the right position underneath him to go all the way. His upper body strength is phenomenal.
- He doesn't crawl. And I'm ok with that and I'm not going to work on it. He has very clear ways to get where he needs to go: 1) rolling all over the room, 2) bouncing on his bottom across the room, and 3) reaching with Inspector Gadget hands.
- He likes to try and eat our cheeks.
- He loves trees and streetlights. He'll crain his neck and reach with his Inspector Gadget arms anytime we see them. Christmas lights will be so much fun for him!
- He's really digging Mickey Mouse Playhouse in the mornings.
- He dances and claps to all church songs, especially Jesus Loves Me. Which is just all kinds of humorous.
- When he comes home from school each day, it takes less than 30 seconds for him to get his sleepy blanket, rub his eyes and go to sleep.
- He has 2 favorite sleepy blankets, hand-crocheted that he runs his fingers through and rubs on his face.

So much more...but this is all I have time for now. Thanks for indulging me!

Because I Read Tabloid Magazines

I spent most of the week in the Sacramento-area, enjoying their food and their restaurants with patios where people actually sit and eat without their hair and napkins blowing in their face. It was Heaven.

I also had what turned out to be a surprisingly emotional day yesterday for me, and I wasn't expecting it. I'm not sure when or if I'll be ready to talk about it...but basically I'm looking for any suggestions of blogs to read or online communities of people who have adopted and then (CLICHE ALERT) gotten pregnant. I can't find much out there. When we were going through infertility, I found so many blogs of people that inspired me and understood my journey, same thing when we were adopting. I find myself once again to be in a place where not a lot of people in my real everyday life can understand the range of emotions and questions and feelings I have...if you know of anywhere please leave a comment!

Trust me...it will spare you a post here which would leave most of you gagging or rolling your eyes or huffing in disgust at THAT lady who (OF COURSE) got pregnant after adopting and then tried to complain about it.

Ok...in other news I have to discuss a few pop culture items. Must do it, so let's go.

Roman Polanski
Look, ok, the dude essentially drugged and RAPED a 13-year-old girl (don't kid yourself, Whoopi Goldberg, it was rape because 13-year-old girls just don't have the capacity to consent to sex with a middle-aged man). I don't care if it was 30 days ago or 30 years ago...he did it and OH BY THE WAY he ADMITTED to it. He's guilty. And then he ran away. He ran away to avoid being punished for raping a 13-year-old girl.

If this was a priest who had committed this crime and gotten away with it for 30 years, or a stepfather, or an everyday average Joe trust me when I tell you Hollywood would be calling for blood. They would be all about how this person deserves to be punished, taking responsibility for their actions, punishing to the fullest extent of the law, and so forth. The fact that they want us all to "move on" and let it go for Roman Polanski because he is a brilliant director and has suffered by not being "allowed" back in the U.S. for 30 years...we should all be VERY angry at how these celebrities are patronizing us.

Not one of them would stick up for us if we were in that position. And their egos are so out of control they think we should let the rape of a child go unpunished because someone is talented? WHAT?! Roman Polanski hasn't suffered. First of all, he's allowed to come back to the U.S. anytime he wants. In fact, imagine how much simpler life would be if he would have just taken his punishment when it was given, served, and moved on. Come on back, Roman, and face the music anytime. We welcome you with open American Justice arms. Second of all, his work has NOT suffered by not making movies in Hollywood. Pretty sure it's been in the last, what, 15 years he won an Academy Award for directing a movie. He's a millionaire living in luxury in Europe and STILL winning American awards. He's NOT suffering.

I am appalled at anyone who thinks we should just "forget about it" and "move on". It's not like he can even claim innocence...he admitted it and ran away, people!

Jon Gosselin
Sorry, I can't stop talking about this complete and total scumbag. I stopped watching the show long ago, which is unfortunate because he has 8 of the cutest kids ever. He is ridiculous, total scum. And, look, I'm not saying Kate is all innocent victim here. She is whiny, witchy, and completely out of control (remember long before the divorce rumors even came about, there was talk of how she pushed everyone in her life including her family away because she didn't want them to take her money). But seriously, she hasn't gone out and worn Ed Hardy clothes while flaunting young girls and Hollywood loser dads on her arm.

Everytime I see that man's face I throw up a little in my mouth.

Kardashians
WHY, oh WHY are we continuing to make them stars? Disgusting, self-serving, and untalented. They bring nothing to society, we can't even claim they bring art and talent to the entertainment industry. I'm sick of hearing about them.

David Letterman
Sigh...I'm never surprised when I hear about things like this. But it never stops me from being disappointed.

Ok, I think that's it. Phew, I feel better already! I'm going to visit my grandparents this weekend with Colt, my mom and stepdad. John's staying here so wish me luck!

Sickness and BOYS!

So much for being a great blogger, huh?!

First of all, not long after the last post began the days of torturous migraines. Migraines have been a fairly new development for me in the last few years. I never had them before and then one day about 2 or 3 years ago I began getting these ridiculous headaches. They rose to a debilitating point last year and several have sent me to the hospital.

Being pregnant means there are limits to what I can take to manage the pain and side-effects. So all day on Thursday I just sat in our recliner, moving as little as possible. Trying to drink water. I took 3 steaming hot showers (steam helps), 2 baths, and finally some Excedrin Migraine. That evening we went out to dinner, and it did a world of good to get out of the house. I dealt with come-and-go headaches throughout the weekend but I was actually pretty proud of myself for managing through the pain without a lot of medication. Not that I am going to keep that up after baby is born or anything.

Sunday began the week-o-doctor trips. After a fairly typical Sunday morning, we picked Colt up from Bible class and he was suddenly very, very lethargic and snuggly. This is a boy who, no matter how tired he is, always has his head up checking people out and wants to be in-the-know. He's at a point now where he really doesn't nap anywhere except his bed (no more car, very rarely in Grandma or Mimi's arms at church, not even in bed with me). He's just busy and aware all the time. So my mama instinct began to tingle a little...something wasn't right.

My mom rocked him during church service because John and I were puppets in Children's Church. By the time she brought him to us an hour later, you could quite literally fry an egg off his body he was SO hot. It was astonishing how hot he was. Mama Instinct was now in overdrive and I hollered at John that we had to go right then. We raced to urgent care where his pediatrician is...only to find a major back up in a waiting room full of sick people (shocking, right?). The masks, the coughing, the piles of snotty kleenex, the feverish children...it was too much and Colt was beginning to be unresponsive, not able to keep his eyes open.

We went to another urgent care where our good friend, Kyle was working as a PA. We got right in and, as always, he took great care of us. Colt had a temp of 103! A little Motrin and Colt was feeling much better. He tested negative for all the flu (thank goodness) and negative for RSV. He got a breathing treatment and we went home. He's now been home all week, because the high fever lasted until Wednesday morning, then he broke out into a crazy rash. We saw his pediatrician on Wednesday who said it was a classic case of roseola. He's fine now, not even contagious, though still very polka-dotty! He also FINALLY has a tooth, and an ear infection so it's been a rough and painful week for the little man.

Tuesday was our BIG ultrasound! We were actually both pretty anxious about it, we both were up until about 1 a.m. the night before unable to sleep. We were excited, and part of me was very nervous because I knew it was about more than just the sex of the baby. They were checking to see if everything was working right, that the development was ok, and all major organs were there, and that there were no signs of birth defects at this point.

Once again, we had a friend in the medical field who took great care of us. Laura was our ultrasound tech and she found the baby right away and as soon as I could see the heart fluttering I started to relax. First sign that everything was ok. She said she usually looks at everything else and goes over the sex of the baby last. But, well, after about 5 seconds it was undeniable. Our little BOY was flashing his manhood all over the screen, proud as can be, and it was obvious he wanted us to know right away!

He was VERY active, moving all over the place, flipping and turning and kicking. The placenta is low-lying and forming a layer between my stomach and the baby so it will be a while before I can feel all that movement. He likes his hands up by his head, and likes to sit spread eagle as often as possible. We saw each and every beautiful, normal organ, a normal spine and head, all limbs accounted for.

We came home and told Colt he was going to have a baby brother, but he was much more interested in the cat. He's been practicing pulling up on the coffee table and pretty much that's what he wants to do all day, every day so baby news doesn't interest him much. He also is into clapping now and it is THE. CUTEST. THING. EVER.

So, Colt's going to have a baby brother. We're going to have two sons. We could not be more excited, it could not feel more perfect. Two little boys to fill our house with dirt and frogs and football helmets and sweaty clothes and cars and waterguns...what an adventure!

Housekeeping

Couple of housekeeping things...

First of all, I'm starting to feel a little more inspired to be a better blogger! Between being really busy at work, so tired in the evenings and wanting nothing more than to play with Colt I've really slacked off. I'm still obsessed with reading blogs, but I'm finally starting to feel like I can come to life back here again. Hopefully you guys have stuck around. I'm working on some plans for hopefully a new design, some new ideas for posts, etc.

Second, I wanted to just throw out there a few things about comments. I am a terrible commenter but this is not all my fault. A lot of times I read blogs on my phone or while I'm on a break at work. My work computer currently operates on a really old version of Internet Explorer. For some reason, this version does not allow me to comment in the new commenting style of blogger. So unless there is a separate window that comes up (old school, like it's been for ages) I can't comment while I'm at work. So then, I get home and busy and lost momentum to go back and comment. I also read most on my phone while falling asleep or when I first wake up...hard to comment on a phone.

Don't let that confuse you into thinking I'm not reading or thinking about you all! I read every one of the blogs on my links lists and more. Anytime a new blogger comments on my site, I immediately go to your site, get caught up, and add you! So hopefully in the near future I will be a better commenter, but right now it is truly out of my control.

Finally, if you comment on here and have a private blog, please know that I would love to follow you. There's a couple of you recently (fortheloveof_grace, I'm looking at you!) but I don't know how to send you a request. I'm not AS good about following private blogs every day (because they don't show up on my feed reader, and then I forget for a few days, blah blah) but I DO love to read along! So, once you comment, please just assume I'd like an invitation to your blog. My e-mail is on the sidebar so you can send it to me.

If you're reading and have never commented and I don't know about you, please come out of hiding so I can get to know you. Honestly, I LOVE reading new blogs! Especially as many of my favorites have become a lot like me and not writing as much. You can send me an e-mail if you don't want to comment...I won't think you're weird or anything I promise. I mean, I've gone out of my way to meet people from blogland in real life, I'm also pretty open with Facebook if you prefer to get to know me that way. Just friend me!

Ok...housekeeping out of the way. Also, sarah7181 sometime would you please send me an e-mail and tell me about yourself? I love that you leave comments but you don't have a blog (at least not on blogger). So let me know if there is somewhere I can follow you.

The End. Love you all!

Making it Official

Our wonderful judge, our incredible lawyer Rachel Stoddard Morris, and our official forever family on September 1st, 2009. A dream come true!

A few Gotcha Day Party Photos!

Gotcha Day! (pictures coming soon)

So I'll start off by saying pictures are coming! I left my camera with the few court pictures we have at home. Also, I did a very smart thing (in my humble opinion) and had a friend who is a fabulous photographer take pictures at Colt's party. I knew I wouldn't have time to take pictures and there would be something I would forget. So she came and snapped away all night. She said around 300 pictures were taken, she's editing and getting them ready and I'm so excited! All I had to worry about was talking to people and feeding Colt cake, and it was awesome to know I wasn't missing anything.

So....on to the day!

Court went very well. We were the last on the docket, because adoptions are private and confidential so we had to be the only ones in there. It's handled in family court, and our judge was just awesome. He smiled through the whole thing and seemed genuinely excited to be part of the process.

I only teared up a couple of times. First of all, there were a couple of tough guardianship cases ahead of us and it just made me think about kids in general and parents and how hard it is to to be a parent and to be a kid. Add in a lot of stressors they have that I don't have to think about, and I just felt for the kids involved and the guardians who were fighting for them.

I was weepy anyway, then as the judge asked us if we understood that from this day forward it would be like this child was born to us, that legally there would be no distinction, and did we understand? Did we vow to raise him as our own? Did we understand what that means?

It's just powerful and heavy and even though we've been operating under all that since the beginning, it was incredibly emotional to me to make this "final vow" of sorts.

It was also so awesome to have almost our entire family in court with us. The judge asked if they were ALL there for Colt's case and as they nodded and he said "wow". My mom and stepdad, my dad, my sister, John's mom and dad, and John's sister and brother-in-law all came and took up an entire row. I can't ever express to them how much it meant to have them there for such a simple ceremony, for taking time out of their day to be a part of it. It just meant more than any of them could ever know.

We missed my grandparents, both sets who couldn't make it, my aunt, and John's other sister who had to work. But we felt them in spirit.

Colt was SO good. He was sleepy toward the end, but you could never accuse him of being disruptive. He hardly made a sound and was just so good through an hour of boring legal procedures.

We asked the judge if we could take pictures with him, and he said yes but only on one condition: we had to send him a copy. He said he'd been handling adoptions for 14 years, and he has a book full of pictures of the families he's helped create. He said when he has down days (and in family court, there are lots of down days), he flips through THAT book to lift him up. I thought that was a wonderful sentiment.

It was just the perfect ceremony, and it was far more emotional than I imagined it would be.
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We all headed to Bricktown after court to have lunch together, then John and I took Colt to visit his work for a few moments. Colt was SPENT at this point so we went home for some naps and my dad and sister came over to play with him for a few hours.

Then it was party time!

In Oklahoma, you generally don't plan outdoor events unless you want to be disappointed. So when I planned a casual cookout at a park, I worried and worried about the weather every day until the time came. But it could not have been more perfect. Other than a slight breeze, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was around 75 degrees. It was perfect.

We had tons of family and friends come out and eat hamburgers, hot dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips, and a GIANT Gotcha Day cake. The only sad part was that there were so many people, I didn't get to spend a lot of time talking to everyone! But the pavilion was full of people who had supported and encouraged us and loved us every step of the way up until this day. That was what it was about, a chance for us to thank those who has held us up since long before we knew about Colt. To thank those who celebrated our perfect boy and who love him and love us.

We were overwhelmed at the support and everyone who came out. There were about 75 people, lots of kiddos who were patiently waiting for cake, and plenty of conversation.

My favorite part of the night was when my friend, Ashley, was helping serve cake, and had a plate near me and Colt. She was asking me something and before we knew it Colt had his hand in the icing and it was all over his face. Note to self: Colt loves icing. He's SO quick these days...nothing can be on his end of a table (hhhmmm, like sour cream or soda) before he's knocked it over or covered in it. We have some great cake pictures.

Anyway...it was an absolute perfect party, for a perfect boy, on a perfect day. I went to bed exhausted, sad it was over, but with a feeling of pure joy. We are so loved.
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I wish everyone could have a Gotcha Day! It's different than a birthday. It's a different celebration, a different feeling in the air. I also wish that everyone had the opportunity to stand before a judge and commit to raising their child with their full heart and resources. I mean, if we ALL did it...things might be different for kids out there, you know? We have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our spouse to get married...why shouldn't we have to stand in front of someone and make a commitment to our children to raise them?

I truly saw it as an opportunity and as an honor versus something we HAD to do and a burden placed only on adoptive families. It felt special.

It was a very special day.

The night before Gotcha Day

I can't really describe my feelings tonight. It's not the excitement of the night before my wedding. It's not like the night before the first day of school. Maybe not even quite like the night before Christmas...but maybe like the night before a big vacation or something.

In any case, it's a night of anticipation, of excitement, of anxiousness. Because tomorrow morning we take our family in our Sunday best to stand before a judge and pledge our lifelong devotion to Colton Thomas Alan Anderson and make official what we've believed and lived for almost a year now.

I can't wait. I am anxious and excited to get there, to stand up there. I'm worried I'll cry, I'm worried I won't cry. I'm worried Colt will be sleepy and fussy but I know the judge understands. I'm overwhelmed that almost every member of our family will be in the seats behind us, supporting us and loving Colt and quietly pledging their lifelong devotion to him as well. I'm thankful our wonderful attorney will be there to walk us through it.

What a culmination this will be. I never doubted this day would come, but I'm still ready for it to be here! I DO feel like a kid before Christmas morning. Laying out clothes, packing bags, making plans, charging camera batteries, ready to wake up and start the next chapter in our life where we're legally and officially a forever family.

I hope N is celebrating with us, not hurting at this final development. I know deep down she is happy that it is happening, she is proud of herself and Colt and of us and glad to see her family come together in this way. I'll be glad to send her pictures so she can see...we never backed down, we never wanted out, we will remain true to our commitment to her forever.

So, anyway, I guess I better get some sleep. To some it may seem cheesy, it's just a formality. But we do know we have an understanding judge who wants us to take pictures because he believes this is a momentous occasion. He wants us to celebrate, he wants our family there to be a part of it. This is closing a chapter on Colt's birth story and opening the chapter on his life story.

Colt is our testimony to love. So testifying tomorrow should be an outpouring of emotion for us. I can't wait.

Tune in soon for pics and a recap of the ceremony as well as our Gotcha Day party that night. Tomorrow is family and friends day and it's all about Colt...the most special day I can imagine!

Photography

I'm always up for free, beautiful photography! Would love to win a free photo session by Lesley.

If you live in the OKC area do me a favor and don't enter...increases my chances.

Kidding! (not really)

http://proctorspics.blogspot.com/

Colt at 8 months

So I never intended to take such a long break from blogging! Work has been so crazy that I don't have a lunch break to post, and (no lie) I've been going to bed every night between 7:00 and 8:00. I'm just that tired and worn out.

Our house has been a hotbed for sickness, Colt battling both tonsillitis and hand, foot and mouth disease in is little as two weeks. This has made him the grumpiest we've ever seen him, though we still enjoy excessive laughs and kisses! Add my physical exhaustion and overall icky feeling and you can tell John has his hands full.

Colt is now 8 months and 1 week old. I was just staring at him yesterday and realizing how crazy big he is. Especially his hands and feet. He's just grown into a little boy, not a baby anymore!

He's not crawling yet, though he's THIS close. I'm not sure he'll ever do much more than scooting as those chubby thighs make it hard to get up on all fours! You'll notice in the "fire chief" picture below, he sits with his ankles crossed. All the time!

Just in the last few days he has started greeting us after sleep and naps by being on his tummy in the crib, his head poked up over the side when he hears the door. He's also grabbing on to the bumpers for support and we know it's just a matter of days before we will need to lower his crib!

Still no teeth! We've loved missing the teething grumpiness, but really want the kid to eat steak one day so we're hoping for a tooth here or there soon...the gummy smiles are awfully cute in the meantime!

He says "dada" now, though it's more like babbling than really identifying Dada. "Dada, baba, gaga" are his favorites and I could listen to it all day.

I've mentioned the open mouth, sloppy, magical kisses he gives when we pucker for him, right? They are heavenly.

He is LOVING watching Faith, our cat. Any chance he sees her and he stops, reaches and laughs and laughs. She doesn't come close enough for him to grab her, but she sure loves to parade in front of him! It's fun to see him recognize and want things across a room.

He definitely is reaching for us, lifts his hands when we go to pick him up and dives for us when he's in other's arms. We're finding a little interest in TV like Blue's Clues, but nothing major. He does love to turn pages in books and to touch colorful pictures.

He is a master at picking up pieces of food or puffs now, we just need to get better at giving him the opportunity. Any time he sees Anna, whether at school or out, they both hold each other's hand and squeal and try to pull each other over. Anna also steals his toys, but whatev.

We took a trip to Missouri to visit my aunt and grandparents. He did well, but we can tell that long car trips are not his favorite. Everyone loved seeing him and he got spoiled rotten! We've also been going to the neighborhood park with baby swings and he adores that. He's bathing in the big boy tub and loves diving for bubbles.

He's outgrowing his clothes left and right. Loves to bounce. Started to dance and sway to music, which is funny because I think it's innate in kids. We haven't really taught him dancing he seems to have just picked up on it! It's beyond adorable.

So, there's your update on Colt. He's more fun every day, growing like a weed. Must start taking video of his babbles, his dances, his laughs, etc. And I'll attempt to be a better blogger soon.

On the pregnancy front, everything looks good, we heard the heartbeat again last week and scheduled our BIG ultrasound for September 22nd. The doctor says in about 2 more weeks or so I will regain the energy I've lost and I pray that's the case!

Stuck with us!

It's been an emotional week on many levels. I won't go into it all, because what happened earlier in the week doesn't matter and it's water under the bridge after the news we got today:

We have a court date!!!!

As of September 1st at 10:00 a.m., Colt will be stuck with us as parents FOREVER. I mean, he's been stuck with us in every emotional and physical way since the first phone call we got on October 2nd, 2008. But this will mean LEGALLY he will be ours. I can't wait to have that weight off our shoulders...to know that nothing will ever take him away from us (even though, the possibility of anything taking him away was so minute...still, it's a relief).

That means that we will be his parents in every way you can slice it. So when he's 13 and grounded for texting too many people...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!

When he turns 16 and he's too grounded to get his driver's license because he stayed out past curfew...too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!

When he's 18 and tells us he wants to go to some college like Oklahoma State or the University of Texas and we refuse to pay for it because it's not OU? Too bad! We're your parents and you're stuck with us!

And all those moments before the teen years when he's having a blast at his birthday parties, when he skins his knee and needs band-aids and kisses, when he is too sick to get out of bed and needs his mom and dad to crawl in with him, when he hits a home run in Little League, when he learns to sing "Boomer Sooner", when he teaches his little brother or sister how to walk, when he tortures our cat Faith with love, when he stays up too late at sleepovers, when he gets his new bike from Santa, when he straps on his backpack for the first day of kindergarten, when he says memory verses in Bible School, and as he keeps giving wet, sloppy, open mouth kisses like he's doing now....well, he's stuck with us then too.

What a blessing God has allowed us to raise. Hopefully he'll be glad to be stuck with us forever...because our life just isn't complete without him!

**I have to take just a moment and thank our fabulous attorney, Rachel Stoddard Morris. She stepped in very quickly to take over our case and got this secured. She's fabulous, and one of the things I'll do as long as I can is talk about her, spread the good news, and get her name out there! She's a fabulous family attorney if you need anything and a very fast worker...she got our case Monday night!! Thanks Rachel!**

In Defense of Daycare

I don't know why I feel compelled to say this: but I LOVE Colt's daycare.

You guys know daycare is one of those age-old things in mommy world we use to judge each other on, along with breastfeeding, working or staying at home, TV, organic food, cloth diapers, extracurricular activities, etc., etc., etc.

However, I think daycare gets a bad rap for the most part.

First of all, there's the whole piece to the argument that for some people, it's the ONLY option. Single parents or low-income families may not have a choice in the matter, they must work outside the home and have to put their children in daycare. So, if for no other reason than to support those who do not have a choice, I think everyone should open their eyes and realize what a blessing daycare can be.

But there's a whole other side of the argument that for some, it's simply a great option for their family. We LOVE Colt's daycare. We love the things he learns there, the kids he gets to play with. He has consistently exceeded developmental milestones up to this point. He has done so well in Bible class and anywhere in public that we take him because he's used to being around other kids. He is showered with love by his teachers.

As a first-time parent, I have personally felt a great deal of support from daycare to help me know what to do next, to help me with ideas of how to get him well when he's sick, even something as simple as when to move to the next diaper size. Would I have figured that out on my own? Yes. But I see it as a fantastic benefit to our situation and having the teachers and directors there support us has made parenting much easier.

I do know that not every daycare situation is like that. There are horror stories out there, I know. But we did research to find the perfect place, we found a place with family that came highly recommended, we have friends who trust their children to the center's care as well and that helps to keep us grounded, too. So I know it's all about finding the RIGHT daycare.

I just wanted to stick up for daycare. For a lot of families it's not just a necessity, it's a true blessing and if one of us were to lose our jobs, we would give up a lot of other things before even considering giving up Colt's daycare. The stability, love, support, and development they are giving to our family is a much greater need than providing us with a babysitting service. I dare say I'd give up cable before giving up daycare. And that, my friends, is saying a lot.

28

Sometimes, after spending hours on the phone dealing with health insurance claims, paying medical bill after medical bill, talking to various attorneys, and preparing to see negative balances in our savings account it occurs to me...being 28 can really suck sometimes.

Today is a "glass-half-empty" kind of day so I won't go into all the things that really rock about being 28. Today I'm just going to dwell on how much it sucks to be 28; to be an adult. I think we all need those days every now and then.